Chevron CEO Sure In Good Mood This Week

HOUSTON-Calling the executive's demeanor unnervingly jovial," company sources confirmed Tuesday that Chevron CEO Mike Wirth sure was in a good mood this week. Man, normally that guy is a first-rate asshole, so something must be up," said an anonymous employee, who noted that the typically stone-faced executive had pulled into his reserved parking spot that morning singing along to Uptown Girl" with the windows down. At first I thought he must have hit an endangered bird with his Mercedes again, but no, this is something bigger. I heard him whistling as he walked to his office, and he even called it a beautiful day out there.' That's crazy. He's always said hehatesout there." Sources added that they hadn't seen Wirth with such a big grin on his face since he had gotten that journalist imprisoned.

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