Political Profile: Gregory Bovino

Gregory Bovino is commander at large" of the U.S. Border Patrol's mass deportation efforts. The Onion takes a look at Bovino's background.

Political Beliefs: Fiscally conservative, socially National Socialist

Leadership Style: Spittle-forward

Motto: Shoot first, dodge questions later."

Nostrils: Tactical grade

Greatest Fear: HD video

Hairstyle: Never a good sign

High School Superlative: Least

Hidden Talent: Can burp the entirety of Horst-Wessel-Lied"

Who Trump Thinks He Is: Scott Baio

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