Sean McDermott Expresses Gratitude To The People, If You Want To Call Them That, Of Buffalo

BUFFALO, NY-Giving thanks for the hospitality shown to him and his family throughout his tenure with the team, recently terminated Buffalo Bills head coach Sean McDermott reportedly expressed his gratitude Monday to the people, if you want to use that term, of Buffalo. For the past nine years, the people-and of course I use that word very loosely-of Buffalo have opened their city to me and my wife and children, and for that, these...inhabitants...will forever be in my heart," McDermott wrote in an emotional, full-page advertisement taken out in The Buffalo News, thanking the city's vaguely humanoid population for their off-putting approximations of passion and support, and praising them as a group of individuals who perhaps qualify as a community by the slimmest of margins. It's been such a privilege to serve these... Again, people' isn't quite right, not at all. Anyone watching them lurch around a tailgate can tell you that. Creatures' would be a more accurate description, I guess, or maybe even organisms.' But whatever they are, I'll never forget them." Though McDermott has yet to formally interview for any of the numerous NFL coaching vacancies, sources close to the coach confirmed that he was open to living among the frothing, subhuman pig-men of Cleveland.

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