What To Know About The 2026 Grammys

The 68th Annual Grammy Awards take place Feb. 1. The Onion shares everything you need to know about this year's ceremony.

Q: Who will be there?

A: Anyone who's anyone in the world of mouth noises.

Q: How can I watch?

A: The best way to experience the Grammys is a 30-second recap from your coworkers the next day.

Q: Are there any new categories?

A: The Recording Academy just introduced Biggest Inhale," Playing in an Uber Right Now," and Suspected Use of Bowed Lyre."

Q: Do winners get anything other than a trophy?

A: Yes, Spotify sponsors a $0.0000001 cash prize for every winner.

Q: Is any drama expected?

A: Lady Gaga and Chappell Roan will get into a fistfight after showing up in the same cape made out of bugs and steampunk top hat.

Q: What will be the ceremony's most emotional moment?

A: Watching a classical musician spend 45 minutes trying to honk out the Grammy he dropped in his tuba.

Q: Should I watch the whole thing?

A: Watch until the end, and you might spot some artists dumping their trophies in the trash can on their way out.

The post What To Know About The 2026 Grammys appeared first on The Onion.