Melania Trump Documentary Fails To Sell Tickets

by
The Onion Staff
from The Onion on (#738QX)

Poor ticket sales for Melania Trump's documentary Melania have led to rescue efforts by the GOP that include buying out theater seats to mask the film's box office struggles, though many are reportedly still uninterested in attending screenings even when tickets are offered for free. What do you think?

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No thanks, I've already got tickets to Doug Emhoff in 3D."

Valerie Tilton, Rodeo Planner
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I'm sure those numbers will tick up after a box office recount."

Luke Gardner, Turnip Masher
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Who's in it?"

Mark Bessette, Unemployed

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