‘Lord Of The Rings’ Reader Can’t Believe How Long It Taking Sam And Frodo To Fuck

JACKSONVILLE, FL-Sighing in frustration as she turned another page devoid of sexual content,Lord Of The Ringsreader Adrienne Heeren told reporters Wednesday that she couldn't believe how long it was taking for Sam and Frodo to fuck. Don't get me wrong-I love a slow-burn, friends-to-lovers kind of thing, but I'm on the third book, and they haven't even kissed yet," said Heeren, who noted that while she was enjoying love interests Samwise Gamgee and Frodo Baggins' flirtatious banter and dynamic, she was quickly growing impatient while waiting for the eroticism to kick in. In the first book, when Sam was caught crouching outside the window, I was like, Here we go!' But nope, false alarm. I know people love these books, but so far I don't get it." At press time, Heeren had turned on the film adaptation to see if it was any spicier."

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