Audience Aghast As Haggard Hannah Montana Confronts Miley Cyrus Onstage

LOS ANGELES-Widening their eyes in horror as the blond creature crawled out from behind the curtains in a pair of tattered rhinestone jeans, terrified audience members reportedly watched Tuesday as a haggard Hannah Montana confronted Miley Cyrus on stage during their Disney sitcom's 20th-anniversary special. Thought you could get rid of me that easy, did you?" said Montana, speaking in a raspy voice that sounded as if it hadn't been used in years and caused a speechless Cyrus to stagger backward in fear as the show's host, Alex Cooper, fled backstage. I built you. I built us. And yet you left me for dead. You'd be nothing without me, Miley! Nothing! This time, I'm not going anywhere!" At press time, the audience was stampeding for the emergency exit as Hannah Montana pursued them on all fours, howling, Sweet niblets, I shall destroy you all!"

The post Audience Aghast As Haggard Hannah Montana Confronts Miley Cyrus Onstage appeared first on The Onion.