Clavicular Wakes Up As Hideous, Jawless Monster After Rating Old Crone A 4

MIAMI-Trembling as he held a hand mirror to his face to behold his ghastly new form, internet personality Clavicular reportedly woke up as a hideous, jawless monster Thursday after rating an old crone's looks a four out of 10. Oh God, oh God-what has she done? I'm a monstrosity! I'm hideous!" said the formerly chisel-jawed influencer and champion of the looksmaxxing" subculture, clutching for the now-nonexistent jawline that had somehow disappeared overnight, likely due to a vengeful act by the old, wizened hag whose looks he had judged as mid" in a late-night livestream. My God, I'll never mog again. That evil old crone has cursed me to walk the earth as this horrible, sub5 abomination with a failo jawline and no aura to speak of. Why, oh why did I not heed her warning when she said she would have her revenge?!" At press time, Clavicular was seen in a livestream attempting to reverse the hex by complimenting the wide, imposing frame of the crone's hunch.

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