What To Know About ‘Supergirl’

Supergirl, starring Milly Alcock, opens this weekend. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the film.

Q: What is the premise?

A: A female superhero must single-handedly save the world as she knows it after the catastrophic collapse of interest in the genre.

Q: Is Superman in this one?

A: Why? You don't think Supergirl can carry a movie on her own? She needs a man's help? Yes. He's in it.

Q: Is Supergirl related to Superman?

A: Yes, but they're only cousins, so romance is still on the table.

Q: How long is it?

A: Two hundred and ninety-nine punches.

Q: If she's an adult, then why isn't she called Superwoman?"

A: Women can't fly.

Q: What is Supergirl's power?

A: Securing lucrative ad partnerships with Waymo, Ulta, and KFC.

Q: Why are so many male fans unhappy with it?

A: It isn't pornography.

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