A Sneak Peek At Taylor Swift’s Wedding

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are reportedly tying the knot this summer. The Onion shares everything we know about the big day so far.

THE DRESS

Inspired by Swift's love of Elizabeth Taylor, the custom gown will be embellished with over 30 of the legendary actress's teeth

THE VENUE

New York City, with overflow seating in
Rhode Island

THE DATE

In homage to Taylor Swift's favorite number, the ceremony will take place on 13/13/13

THE THEME

Taylor Swift

SOMETHING BLUE

Travis Kelce's tongue after getting into the Jolly Rancher bowl

THE GROOM'S ATTIRE

The groom will be wearing a bucket hat designed by Vera Wang

RING BEARER

The congregation will be charmed as Swift's private jet adorably taxis the rings down the aisle

THE CAKE

Plain Costco sheet cake

GUEST ETIQUETTE

The bride has firmly requested no sack tapping

GIFTS

In lieu of presents, the couple asks that guests sue Scooter Braun

REHEARSAL DINNER

For ease of comprehension, the rehearsal dinner has been renamed the scrimmage dinner

THE PHOTOGRAPHER

TMZ

VOWS

Both Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce will recite vows written by Taylor Swift

THE GIANT ICE SCULPTURE OF A T-REX

A compromise

THE FAVORS

A bunch of the Target-exclusive vinyls that didn't end up selling

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