Escaped Giraffe Unable To Be Located

by
The Onion Staff
from The Onion on (#76NN2)

A 3-year-old giraffe is missing after escaping a ranch in Texas two weeks ago, with search helicopters turning up nothing. What do you think?

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This is why you always walk your giraffe on a leash."

Alice Beale, Cactus Farmer
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She's probably a burger by now."

Steve Frantz, Tire Inflater
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Maybe they need a more specific description?"

Chuck Staub, Glass Duster

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