Article 77EY1 Is Taking A GLP-1 Worth It?

Is Taking A GLP-1 Worth It?

by
The Onion Staff
from The Onion on (#77EY1)
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As more Americans than ever turn to Ozempic and Wegovy for weight loss, consumers are becoming increasingly conscious of such drugs' trade-offs. Here are the pros and cons of taking GLP-1s.

PRO

Always fun injecting something

More comfortable than ball gag

Creates enough loose skin to take flight

Average user finds over $20 in loose change in stomach folds

Gaunt appearance perfect for Jack Skellington cosplay

Can finally fit in electric chair

CON

Worked really hard to get Bubba" nickname going

You'll break Ma's heart if you don't finish that spaghetti

Constantly tripping over excess skin

Subcutaneous tissue already pretty full

Might go below 700-pound weight minimum mandated in TLC contract

Could lose Big Dude USA brand sponsorship

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