Player Profile: Pete Crow-Armstrong

MLB star Pete Crow-Armstrong could become the first player in Cubs history to achieve a 40-40 campaign, hitting 40 home runs and stealing 40 bases in one regular season. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the breakout center fielder.

EBP (Eyebrow Percentage): .297

Signature Scent: Banana Boat 70 SPF

Good Luck Charm: Chicago dog in back left pocket

Comfort Movie: Believes movies should challenge, not comfort

Catchphrase: Baseball, baseball, that's my sport, I can play it in pants and shorts!"

Why He's Nicknamed PCA': As a gift to The New York Times crossword puzzle editor

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