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Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking Josh Homme, bathroom stall doors, meme addiction, and more.

Is the hot stove hot? Let’s see here, yes, it looks like the stove is simmering a bit.Read more...

At the Sturgeon Heights Pros vs. Joes event last week, former CFL player Jordan Reaves attempted to entertain attendees by dunking a basketball over Ismail Zaid. He certainly entertained everyone (except for maybe Zaid), though he did not come close to actually accomplishing the dunk.

The Patriots couldn’t convert a single third down (in 11 chances) in Monday night’s 27-20 loss to the Dolphins. Head coach Bill Belichick opened up about the defeat after the game by grumbling and staring and grumbling some more.

Blizzard’s Overwatch League is maybe the most ambitious American esports league ever, and its preseason wrapped up this weekend. The Compete staff, with an assist from our one blogparent that we’re still on speaking terms with, breaks down what went well last weekend and what can be improved for the regular season.…Read more...

Oh! It’s you! My dearest, most refined holiday compatriot! My apologies, I didn’t see you were at the door.

Days removed from seeing Star Wars: The Last Jedi, I still can’t believe it’s a real movie. I can’t believe what writer-director Rian Johnson did: He took all of our preconceived notions of what a Star Wars movie is and evolved them. The movie is genuinely shocking at times—multiple times—but it also feels fully…Read more...

ESPN has suspended analysts Donovan McNabb and Eric Davis after a lawsuit filed in Los Angeles named the former NFL Network personalities among those alleged to have committed sexual harassment against a network wardrobe stylist.Read more...

Lest you think Arsenal fans have a monopoly on incensed postgame rants helpfully broadcast on fan-driven Youtube channels, here is a completely apoplectic Manchester United supporter doing his best Troopz impression right after the derby loss. Could’ve used a few more “bloods” and “fams,” but very strong regardless.Read more...

Think fly fishing is a man’s world? Well, you’re dead wrong. Dead wrong! Because women are now the fastest growing demographic in fly fishing.

Remember how awful Dodgers starter Yu Darvish was in the World Series? He only made it through 10 outs in two starts. He allowed nine hits, eight earned runs, and two homers. He sucked big-time! Now, thanks to Sports Illustrated’s Tom Verducci, we know why.

Kotaku Why Alita Has Big Anime Eyes And How The Internet Is Reacting | Jalopnik How To Build The Chevy Suburban Diesel That GM Won’t Sell You | The A.V. Club The best video game levels of 2017 | io9 A-Wings Suck | Lifehacker How to Shut Down a Troll, Once and For All |Read more...

Discounts on laptops, monitors, and modems in Amazon’s tech Gold Box, $5 off any $15+ book, and a SONOS speaker sale kick off today’s best deals.Read more...

Longtime MLB umpire Dale Scott has decided to retire, citing a string of concussions in recent years and his fear that any more could lead to long-term health effects.

Greg Schiano’s contract with the University of Tennessee was to be for six years and more than $27 million, according to the terms of the deal laid out in the Memorandum of Understanding signed by Schiano and then-UT athletic director John Currie. The MOU, which can be read below, was released in response to a public…Read more...

If you thought Amazon’s $5 off $20 book sale during Black Friday was great, here’s a nice surprise - $5 off any $15 book order with promo code BOOKGIFT17.

Amazon’s running another board game Gold Box today, and while this one focuses more heavily on kid’s games, there’s a good chance anyone can find something they’ll enjoy in here.

Chicago Bears tight end Zach Miller returned to the team facility today for the first time since the brutal knee injury he suffered eight weeks ago. (Do not go back and watch that clip unless you have a perverse interest in seeing a leg bend in a way that it really, really, really is not supposed to.) The situation…Read more...

NFL Network has suspended Marshall Faulk, Ike Taylor and Heath Evans while investigating claims of sexual harassment from a lawsuit filed by one of their former colleagues.Read more...

This afternoon brought the news that two American teens would move to Lithuania to make little money playing basketball for a mediocre club in front of few people.Read more...

Time for some wholly unsurprising news! The Marlins front office’s brazen salary dump is continuing apace. Days after trading Giancarlo Stanton to the Yankees in exchange for a handful of trampled sunflower seed husks and one (1) cup of moist infield dirt, they’re now reportedly shifting their focus to moving some of…Read more...

Today marks the first full day of baseball’s Winter Meetings, that wonderful annual gathering in which baseball executives text each other trade proposals in closer physical proximity to one another than is usually the case while baseball writers repeatedly get drunk at the same hotel bar. This special event comes…Read more...

LiAngelo and LaMelo Ball have reportedly signed professional contracts with a European team, just like LaVar Ball promised, and their destination is ... Lithuanian minnow Prienu Vytautas? Adrian Wojnarowski and Jonathan Givony first reported that talks were serious this afternoon and Woj protege Shams Charania …Read more...

Sadio Mané isn’t the sole reason Liverpool failed to beat Everton in a match they completely controlled everywhere except on the scoresheet. You could and probably should blame the referee for awarding Everton an exceptionally soft penalty from which the Toffees scored their only good chance of the day. You could also…Read more...

Today on Highlight Reel we have broken guns, Monster Hunter kills, Battlegrounds bikes and much more!

One of the stupidest plans that the extremely stupid Trump administration is currently carrying out is a dramatic shrinking of Bears Ears National Monument in Utah. Trump recently announced that he would cut the size of Bears Ears by 85 percent and halved the size of the Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument …Read more...

Giancarlo Stanton was officially introduced as the newest member of the New York Yankees today, and he didn’t bother feigning any reverence for the team he spent the first eight years of his career with. Under normal circumstances, that might be seen as callous, or just poor form. But Stanton has just escaped the…Read more...

Lim “Larva” Hong Gyu won the finals of last week’s Zotac Cup Masters Showmatch while playing StarCraft: Remastered with his foot and pretending to take a nap during the match. Zotac, the hardware company sponsoring the tournament, put out a statement in Chinese threatening to “officially ban Korean player Larva from…Read more...

Some athletes have to prove that they don’t cheat or use performance enhancing drugs; others have to proclaim that their butts are, in fact, real.

The best big games are clarifying. They’re matches in which the enormity of the moment can turn anyone watching into a fidgeting mess, and in which both teams are given the opportunity to match the game’s magnitude with a peak performance. The moment elevates the performances rather than engulfs it, and by the end one…Read more...

Boston Red Sox pitcher Steven Wright was arrested Friday night in Williamson County, Tenn., and charged with domestic-related assault and prevention of a 911 call, according to local authorities. Both charges are misdemeanors, and Wright later was released from custody after he posted bail.

The 2018 Lacrosse All-Name Team, courtesy of Inside Lacrosse, is here, and there’s an incredibly deep batch of newcomers. The male freshmen include Michigan’s Dar Sleeper, Notre Dame’s Wheaton Jackoboice, Washington College’s Burke McFillin, and Bryant University’s Taggart Eymer. But the women are stronger.Read more...

Saleem “Salem” Young, who plays the controversial Smash 4 fighter Bayonetta, clinically tore through the game’s top brawn at this weekend’s Boot Camp tournament like, as one commentator put it, a “a shark in the water.”Read more...

You can lead Nick Kyrgios to a Slam, but you can’t make him win matches. Maybe he takes two sets against an overwhelmed second-round opponent before deciding that tennis was not a particularly fun way a way to pass the time, and gets booed off home court. Maybe it was time to return to basketball, his one true love.…Read more...

One of the hottest trends in sports is honoring famous soccer players with hideous busts and gross renderings of their likenesses, and Diego Maradona wasn’t going to be left out.Read more...

One of the worst things about professional golf is that tournaments have long had the potential to be completely derailed by armchair rules officials. Such was the case earlier this year when a TV viewer emailed the LPGA’s fan feedback address to tattle on Lexi Thompson for misplacing her ball by an inch at most. The…Read more...

Eagles QB Carson Wentz had to leave Sunday’s game with a knee injury, and the citizens of Philadelphia waited with bated breath and clenched buttholes for any updates, hopefully not involving any three-letter medical abbreviations. But the news today wasn’t good: Wentz is done for the year.Read more...

Michael Beasley, a man who still plays in the NBA, managed to commit six fouls in 10 minutes of playing time in the Knicks’ 111-107 win over the Hawks on Sunday.Read more...

Over the weekend, the Miami Marlins sent Giancarlo Stanton to the Yankees for a package of players that is honestly not even worth mentioning here. The transaction that took place was made in such profoundly bad faith that “trade” seems too kind a word to attach to it. This was nothing more than the Marlins’ new…Read more...

You can’t control it from your smartphone like a Philips Hue Lightstrip, but this 16.4', 300 LED light strand from Aukey can glow in several different colors, is capable of daisy chaining for longer stirps, and is even water resistant if you want to set it up on your patio. Oh, yeah, it’s also just $18 with promo code…Read more...

Manchester City beat Manchester United 2-1 at Old Trafford yesterday, and apparently, as City were celebrating after the game in the visitors’ locker room, United manager Jose Mourinho took exception to some of the noise—which the visitors then took exception to in hilarious, milky fashion.Read more...

The two week countdown to Christmas has officially begun. Pick up gifts or take advantage of the discounts on Logitech computer accessories, our readers’ favorite travel pillow and charger, Amazon devices, and more.

The best promotion in hockey—maybe in sports—is back for the holiday season, and nobody does the Teddy Bear Toss quite like the WHL’s Calgary Hitmen. With the first goal Sunday by Vladislav Yeryomenko, Calgary fans littered the ice with 24,605 stuffed animals, to be donated to 60 local agencies and given to deserving…Read more...

io9 The First Impressions for Star Wars: The Last Jedi Are Overwhelmingly Good | Jalopnik Explosion In Major NYC Bus Terminal, ‘Looks Like A Pipe Bomb,’ NYPD Says | Lifehacker How to Ditch Apple Completely | Kotaku The New Ready Player One Trailer Is Filled With Video Game, Anime, And Comic Book Characters | The A.V.…Read more...

After yet another predictable Champions League group stage, we now get to the good stuff with the start of the knockout rounds. And this year’s Round of 16 looks like it will be great. Just look at these tantalizing matchups:

NEW YORK — On Saturday evening, midtown Manhattan was afflicted by plagues. A snowstorm had turned the crosswalks into slushy lagoons. SantaCon had drawn thousands of drunken Jersey residents dressed as Saint Nick into the city’s streets, where they yelled and WOOOO-ed and eroded the quality of life. And at Madison…Read more...

LOS ANGELES — I knew it as soon as I saw Carson Wentz walking to the tunnel. The Eagles had just scored a touchdown to take the lead. The Coliseum, which had to be about 40 percent Eagles fans, was rocking. But from Row 93 I spotted it. Wentz was walking to the tunnel with a towel over his head.Read more...

Most of the US got snow this weekend, which means you can no longer avoid the inevitable chill that comes with winter. The only remedy is to layer up and deal with it, which will be easier if you have the right layers (and no, multiple blankets while laying on the couch doesn’t count). Amazon has five different layers…Read more...

The Cabeau Evolution was your favorite travel pillow (by a long shot), and you can save 20% on yours today in a repeat of their Black Friday sale.