Deadspin > Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

A woman in Canada was so incensed about something Tim Hortons employees did or didn’t do that she dropped her pants, took a dump on the floor, threw it, grabbed some napkins to wipe her ass, threw those too, and left.Read more...

A fun thing about Washington D.C. is that its metro transportation system closes at 11:30 p.m. on weeknights even if there are major sports events happening. Instead of simply extending metro hours so people can get home more easily, the Washington Metro Area Transit Association gets businesses or other third parties…Read more...

Truly I say to you today: Double-A ball offers no challenge to Vladimir Guerrero Jr. besides that of a blank canvas upon which he can paint wild highlights. The 19-year-old slugger has spent his time with the New Hampshire Fisher Cats smacking big dingers and generally looking like he belongs at a higher level, and…Read more...

In this week’s thrilling installment of Let’s Remember Some Guys, Lauren and I return to the treasure trove/antique printer box of unsolicited baseball cards mailed to our office by an unnamed benefactor in search of ... I should probably have figured out the conclusion to this sentence before I started writing it.Read more...

The North Carolina General Assembly will reconvene in Raleigh on Wednesday for a short session dedicated to hashing out the final state budget. Joining them in the state capitol will be a flood of frustrated public school teachers from across the state, all of them on a mission to force the General Assembly to…Read more...

Reds first baseman Joey Votto is a fantastic baseball player, a charmingly prickly dude, and a Canadian. Those last two things converged recently to produce one of his more memorable quotes, in which he explained that he really doesn’t give a shit about Canada.

High school was a fun time for many people. But would you actually want to go back and relive it? Maybe, if you could star on a school’s basketball team!Read more...

For what feels like the first time in recent franchise history, the Sacramento Kings got lucky. The Kings briefly held the reins in the NBA’s greatest-ever tank-off last season, but they were soundly out-tanked over the stretch run, and wound up finishing with the lottery’s seventh-best odds after ending the season…Read more...

Cubs catcher Willson Contreras began wearing a Venezuelan-flag sleeve to honor his home country last summer, and it has become an essential component of his uniform. But as part of MLB’s recent efforts to crack down on uniform regulations, Contreras has been told by the league that he can no longer wear the sleeve, …Read more...

This week, the Supreme Court overturned the ban on sports betting, giving states the ability to legalize it if they want to. Esports betting was already legal in Nevada; in 2016, the Downtown Grand Casino offered the first legal esports wagers on League of Legends. Operators and regulators in esports betting have been…Read more...

According to the Detroit Free Press and the Lansing State Journal, Michigan State has agreed to settle the lawsuits filed by hundreds of women who have said they were sexually abused by Larry Nassar for $500 million. The settlement was approved by the board of trustees this morning. The sum will be paid out to 332…Read more...

Our Facebook page is a great place to yell at us, but also to send us really helpful sports tips. Like reader Matt, who private messaged us with this breaking news:Read more...

As a supplement to Home Depot billionaire Ken Langone’s new book “I Love Capitalism!”, we are publishing emails from Home Depot employees discussing what it is like to work in the company that made Ken Langone rich. They seem less than thrilled.Read more...

In the nine months since Deadspin reported on how SB Nation’s business model relies on underpaying and not paying workers across its sprawling empire of more than 300 sports sites—“team sites,” as the jargon goes—bosses at SB Nation and its parent company, Vox Media, have put in a lot of work to make clear to people…Read more...

Forget the weak beeves you’ve been served in the past, all the gristly cheap stuff, and ready your palate for Grade-A Tennis Beef. Well-bred cows were fed only foraged wild grasses and massaged six to eight times daily to produce beef of this lusciously marbled quality. Appreciate it.

The Argentine Football Association, the country’s governing body of soccer, held on Tuesday a course for players, coaches, executives, and reporters heading to Russia for next month’s World Cup. The course, taught by Russian language teacher, Eduardo Pennisi, included a manual, “Russian Language and Culture,” written…Read more...

Kotaku The Race To Stop The Best Mario Kart 64 Player From Securing Every World Record | Jalopnik How An Arizona Mechanic Scored A Stolen 1,461 Mile 1993 Toyota MR2 Turbo For $500 | Lifehacker What Never to Say or Do at the Airport | io9 Marvel Has Found Some Intriguing Writers for Its Eternals Movie |Read more...

Mario may be known for his background as a plumber, or his recent adventure as a body-snatching fashionista, but over the years he’s also become one of gaming’s most popular athletes. With Mario’s newest tennis iteration launching later this year for the Nintendo Switch, it’s the perfect time to look back on the many…Read more...

The Cleveland Cavaliers, lifted by a huge first half from LeBron James, began the second half of Game 2 against the Celtics with a seven-point lead. This was a vast improvement over the circumstances they found themselves in during Game 1, when the Celtics had put the result out of reach by the end of the first…Read more...

Kilauea has been oozing lava for weeks, but things took a turn for the worse on Tuesday when the summit crater sent ash flying up to 12,000 feet above sea level. This sign of the apocalypse apparently wasn’t enough to deter golfers from hitting the links.Read more...

Astros right fielder Josh Reddick had to have assumed he taught the Angels a lesson about running on his arm in the sixth inning tonight. When Mike Trout tried to move from first to third on a Shohei Ohtani single, he quickly became, in the accurate words of the announcer, “a dead duck.”Read more...

An all-timer of a first quarter from LeBron James, in which he scored 21 of his team’s 27 points, and a 42-point triple double for the entire game all went to waste in Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals, as the Boston Celtics took down the Cleveland LeBrons, 107-94.Read more...

The Washington Capitals came crashing back down to earth tonight in a 4-2 loss to the Lightning in Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals, shrinking the series lead of these briefly unbeatable-looking Caps down to 2-1.

Oakland A’s outfielder Stephen Piscotty—who missed his team’s previous four games after his mother, Gretchen, died from ALS—smashed a dinger over the Green Monster tonight in his very first at-bat since returning to the team. The reaction to the homer was subdued, in part because it was hit on the road, but Piscotty…Read more...

The team with the worst record in the NBA this season, the Phoenix Suns, won the draft lottery tonight, and with it the choice of either Arizona’s Deandre Ayton or Real Madrid’s Luka Dončić. Whoever of those two the Suns don’t pick will likely go to the Sacramento Kings, who defied the odds and took the second spot…Read more...

In a performance that had many praising its avant-garde catchphrase stylings, President Trump welcomed the national champion Alabama Crimson Tide football team to the White House last month and proceeded to speak for approximately three hours about, I assume, how he’s actually glad he didn’t win the popular vote in…Read more...

Lucas Glover’s wife, Krista, was arrested in Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla., on Saturday night and charged with domestic battery and resisting an officer after she apparently struck Lucas and his mother, Hershey Hendley, according to the St. John’s Sheriff’s Office. Inmate records from the sheriff’s office show that Krista…Read more...

Aside from the nonstop playoff losses, I imagine the worst thing about being a Washington D.C.-area sports fan is the fact that the Metro closes at 11:30 on weeknights, often before local games—especially playoff baseball—come to an end.

Carson Smith tossed one inning in relief for the Red Sox in yesterday’s loss to the Oakland A’s, giving up a home run to Khris Davis. After he left the game, he was apparently mad at himself, and he tossed his glove in frustration. That’s a normal and fine reaction, but Smith injured himself doing so, and according to…Read more...

At this point in time, Tomas Berdych is more useful as a benchmark for the progress of young people than as a tennis player unto himself. This is a little cruel, maybe, but it is not wrong.Read more...

Last week, the Overwatch League found itself encircled by controversy after pros and analysts hinted that stage 4 would run on an old version of the game that didn’t include Hanzo’s flashy new overhaul or a much-needed nerf to Brigitte. Today, the league finally confirmed that and explained its decision.

Because we are not fools, we can all agree that there are two major problems currently plaguing, to various degrees, the four major sports leagues in North America: tanking and games that start way too damn late. I can fix this.

This devil magic is tearing the entire GMG newsroom apart, and now you have to deal with it too. What is this robot saying??? I hear “Laurel” and I can’t even hear the faintest shred of “Yanny,” so please tell me what you hear.

Mariners second baseman Robinson Canó has been suspended for 80 games after failing a drug test. Domincan journalist Héctor Gómez first reported that Canó would be suspended, with Ken Rosenthal confirming shortly afterward. According to MLB, Canó tested positive for Furosemide, a diuretic that is banned by WADA…Read more...

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Drew’s gone! We have guest hosts. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking about what is acceptable to eat out of a can, alleged cheating in the minors, cursed flip-flops, and more.Read more...

A.J. Pollock has been among the top National League players in WAR for much of this young season, but he also just cannot catch a break. In the ninth inning of the Diamondbacks’ 7-2 loss to the Brewers Monday, the outfielder laid the hell out for a Tyler Saladino line drive that turned into an inside-the-park home…Read more...

If your mattress isn’t leaving you feeling as well-rested as you’d like it to, buying a new mattress pad can breathe new life into your bed and is a whole lot cheaper than buying a whole new mattress, especially today.Read more...

There are wiser ways to start an article about sports betting than this but still, I have to warn you: Murphy v NCAA—Monday’s Supreme Court decision that freed New Jersey to allow casinos and racetracks to open sports books—is boring as hell. I’ll do what I can to overcome this burden, but there is only so much that…Read more...

The Rockets had a plan. They were going to force Steph Curry to defend James Harden one-on-one, stick longer defenders on Curry to harass him on the perimeter, use Clint Capela’s length to disrupt Draymond Green’s pick-and-roll maneuvers, and pounce on any defensive lapses by kicking it out to their army of shooters.…Read more...

News broke today that hedge fund manager David Tepper is all set to buy the Carolina Panthers after Jerry Richardson was forced to put the team up for sale amid a sexual harassment scandal. Tepper will reportedly pay $2.2 billion for the team, and I know you’re wondering about one thing and one thing only: Is this guy…Read more...

Look. If we are being honest with each other, here, let’s acknowledge what we all know: The Rockets are 100 percent dead in this series, have virtually no chance whatsoever even to push it to a seventh game, and could spend Game 2 jump-kicking each other in the face for all the good they can do by even trying to make…Read more...

Gizmodo Area Man, Obscure Sidekick Asked to Leave Google Fiber’s Austin Office by the Police | Kotaku Japan Is Running Out Of Whisky | Jalopnik Oh No, Gas Is Getting Expensive Again | Offspring Why You Should Watch Silent Movies With Your Kid |Read more...

Save big on SanDisk storage devices, an AmazonBasics dutch oven, a Dremel combo kit, and more of today’s best deals.Read more...

Jets defenseman Dustin Byfuglien is a big boy. Listed at 6-foot-5, 260 pounds, I would call him an immovable object if not for the fact that he’s usually moving toward you. And it’s gonna go badly for you.

The Golden Knights chalked up their Game 1 loss to effort. “They outworked us,” coach Gerard Gallant said. “We have to compete harder. We got to battle harder.” It’s the sort of thing a coach says all the time, but it’s also just about the only thing a team can try to change when they’re up against the most talented…Read more...

In the 1994 comedy The Mask, a shy bank clerk named Stanley Ipkiss (played by Jim Carrey) is plagued with the burden and the blessing of discovering an ancient mask containing the spirit of the ancient Norse god, Loki. Under the spell of the mask, Ipkiss, an otherwise meek man who has trouble with women, transforms…Read more...

In a game that saw the two best teams in basketball each play exactly how you’d expect them to, the Golden State Warriors beat the Rockets in Houston, 119-106, to take a 1-0 lead in the Western Conference Finals. Despite the best efforts of James Harden and his 41 points, the Warriors managed to expose the Rockets’…Read more...

After dispatching the Golden Knights with a three-goal barrage in the first-period of Game 1, the Winnipeg Jets found Vegas to be a much tougher opponent in their second series meeting, and couldn’t get anywhere near a repeat performance. The Knights rode a pair of first period goals and a brilliant bounce-back…Read more...

Rays shortstop Adeiny Hechavarria, fully recovered from his freak injury last week, blasted straight through his third-base coach’s stop sign while attempting to score a go-ahead run against the Royals, but redeemed himself with an elastic slide that eluded a cannon throw from Jorge Soler and a tag attempt from…Read more...