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Updated 2026-06-14 00:18
The Eagles Pulled Off A Ridiculously Elaborate Baseball-Themed TD Celebration
Famous South Jersey native and baseball player Mike Trout is at the Eagles game today, so the team’s offense performed an impressively elaborate baseball celebration to honor him (and possibly recruit him for the Phillies, who knows).Read more...
The Chargers Gave The Giants Two Points
Safeties are one of the most exciting plays in football. That might sound weird, since they’re only worth two points, don’t decide games very often, if ever, but they’re fun! Also, the safety is the only play in football where players celebrate by impersonating the referee.
Fragile Stooge Mike Pence Walks Out Of 49ers-Colts Because Of Anthem Demonstration [Update]
Mike Pence, a cauliflower that was once victimized by the movie Mulan, claimed that he walked out of today’s 49ers-Colts game, because the players supposedly disrespected the troops during the rote nationalistic pre-game ceremony. While the Colts stood arm-in-arm during the anthem, a reported 23 members of the 49ers…Read more...
Myles Garrett Gets A Sack On His First NFL Play
First-overall pick Myles Garrett had to miss the start of the season with an ankle sprain, but in his first career NFL appearance, he quickly made up for lost time, rushing through some awful blocking to get a sack on his very first NFL snap.Read more...
Nuggets Lock Up Part Of Their Core, Agree To Contract Extension With Gary Harris
The Denver Nuggets have reportedly agreed to an extension with Gary Harris, to the tune of four years and $84 million, with $74 million guaranteed and the remaining $10 million triggered by individual performance bonuses.Read more...
For A Marginally Improved Outlook: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL
Today’s counterprogramming schedule is light on sports, with club soccer taking a break this weekend, but the NBA preseason is ramping up, there’s playoff baseball, a Star Wars marathon, a fair amount of pre-Halloween programming, and, hey, Blade Runner 2049 is really, really, really fucking good. There are rumors…Read more...
Rogue Lets Go OfOverwatch Roster After Failing To Secure Spot In League
Esports organization Rogue has announced that it will part ways with its current Overwatch roster after not being named one of the inaugural teams in the Overwatch League.Read more...
Outdoor Adventurer Thabo Sefolosha Saved A Woman From Drowning
Hey, what’d you do this summer? I built half a porch onto my house, badly, and now have to climb over a construction zone in order to enter my home, with no end in sight. Probably you did something a lot cooler than this. If you’re Thabo Sefolosha, some of what you did this summer is save a woman from drowning to…Read more...
Alex Ovechkin Opens The Year In Style
Alex Ovechkin only needed one period yesterday to complete a feat that no NHL player had accomplished in 100 years, scoring three quick goals in the first period against Montreal to open the season with a nearly unprecedented two hat tricks in two games.Read more...
Don't Do It! Don't Do It!
Oh, you doubt Rashaad Penny’s Heisman bona fides?Read more...
It's The Rare Double-Clutch Extra Point Attempt
Utah lost anyway, but at least they made things interesting in the process.Read more...
We're Still Trying To Figure This One Out
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Plenty Of Tickets Still Available
No, really, we clicked the link and there are a ton of tickets available.Read more...
Thomas G. Crowned Nintendo World Champ After Beating Super Mario Odyssey Level Nobody Had Ever Seen Before
The Nintendo World Championships closed out in a finale reminescent of The Wizard. The two finalists, John Numbers and Thomas G., raced across three levels of the upcoming Super Mario Odyssey, working to beat unseen levels of the upcoming Nintendo Switch game.
Hurricanes Stay Undefeated With 75-Yard Drive In 80 Seconds
Malik Rosier drove Miami 75 yards after a late FSU score to deny the Seminoles a rivalry win and keep the Hurricanes undefeated in finding Darrell Langham on a 23-yard touchdown pass that seized a 24-20 victory.Read more...
Here Is How To Turn Victory Into Defeat In 99 Yards
Miami U. has been the MAC’s punching bag for a decade, but the hapless RedHawks had a chance to beat a very bad BGSU team with a first-and-goal from the one and less than two minutes left in the game. Miami did not win, because they fumbled and allowed the Falcons’ Brandon Harris to take it the length of the field for…Read more...
James Harden Says Kevin McHale Is A Clown For Questioning His Leadership
This one started with Kevin McHale, who coached James Harden for three-plus seasons in Houston, lightly but directly criticizing Harden’s capacity as a team leader, during an NBA TV panel discussion this week:Read more...
At Slapfight, Actual Slap
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Dogs Are Wonderful, Adorable Messes
Who’s a good dog? Yours is! It can be a bit of a mess, though.
Sad-Sack Airport Bozos Want To Protest Super Bowl Flights Because Of Anthem Protests
Members of the administrative commission of dipshit also-ran-ass airport Brainerd Lakes Regional reportedly spoke out against NFL anthem protests Thurdsay, while discussing air travel contingencies for the 2018 Super Bowl, to be held in Minneapolis. This world is a goddamn toilet.Read more...
Oklahoma Upset By 31-Point Underdog Iowa State
Baker Mayfield and the third-ranked Oklahoma Sooners were upset this afternoon by unranked Iowa State, a 31-point underdog, after the Cyclones outscored the Sooners 25-7 in the second half.Read more...
The Nats Wasted A Brilliant Night From Stephen Strasburg, Because Of Course They Did
There is nothing more frustrating on earth than watching a lineup featuring Trea Turner, Bryce Harper, Anthony Rendon, Daniel Murphy, and Ryan Zimmerman get completely blanked by a guy who throws an 87 mph fastball. Unless you are a Cubs fan, in which case, screw you right in the ear.Read more...
From The Mouths Of Babes
Have something you think we should know? Email us at tips@deadspin.com, call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!Read more...
Ghana Effectively Knocked Out Of World Cup Qualifying By Bullshit Offside Call
Raphael Dwamena’s match-winning goal with 15 seconds remaining in added time against Uganda came off the board as South African referee Daniel Bennett inexplicably ruled Dwamena to be offside, effectively eliminating Ghana from World Cup contention.Read more...
Good Old Canada Has Gifted Us Another Onside Punt
You will be forgiven for not knowing what the hell is going on in this highlight, which shows a bunch of people moving around pre-snap, followed by a punt that seems to catch the broadcasters by surprise, followed by a man on the punting team recovering the punt, and then celebrating about it. It’s an onside punt!Read more...
To Be Fair, Consuming Hallucinogens While In Toledo Is Advised
We can only assume Jay Feely is suffering from a glitch in the Matrix:Read more...
Street Fighter Pro's Secret Weapon: A Tape Measure
Competing at the highest level isn’t just about talent, but consistency. Hajime Taniguchi, or “Tokido,” exemplified this virtue by busting out a tape measure to ensure he was sitting the proper distance from the monitor at this morning’s TWFighter Major in Taiwan.
Report: Dante Exum Might Miss Another Full Season Due To Injury
Well, Adrian Wojnarowski has now welcomed us to the weekend with some particularly grim and depressing NBA news: Dante Exum could miss the entire upcoming season with a separated left shoulder. Frig.Read more...
Game-Ending Five-Lateral Kickoff Return Spoiled By Literally A Miracle
Boy have I got a highlight for you, my friends. Here’s the setting: the St. Francis de Sales Knights are down a point to the Lima Senior Spartans after Lima kicker Cole Miracle (I swear I’m not making this up) knocked in a go-ahead field goal. There are three seconds left on the clock, and Lima is kicking off. You…Read more...
Kirk Herbstreit Says Washington Should Be Thanking ESPN For Airing Their Games
College GameDay’s Kirk Herbstreit responded to Chris Petersen’s complaints about late-night Huskies kickoff times today, saying the Washington head coach should be thanking the Worldwide Leader for airing their games at all.Read more...
You Are Not A Catcher, Joe Girardi
That last night’s Yankees-Indians game continued for more than six innings after Lonnie Chisenhall’s phantom hit-by-pitch should not distract you from the fact that this was the moment of the game. It was. Right there, with two strikes and two outs in the bottom of the sixth inning, the Yankees were on the cusp of…Read more...
Lawsuit Says Nationals Hitting Coach Shared Revenge Porn; Suspended By Team
The Washington Nationals announced Friday night that they had suspended assistant hitting coach Jacque Jones with pay, pending an investigation into a “legal matter.” The announcement came a little more than a week after a lawsuit was filed in San Diego by a woman, under the name Jane Doe, who said Jones vengefully…Read more...
This Man Is A Treasure
PUIG PUIG PUIG PUIG PUIGRead more...
Morgan Hurd Keeps U.S. Winning Streak In Women's Gymnastics Alive
MONTREAL, Canada—Fifteen minutes before the women’s all-around final, Ragan Smith, the U.S. national champion and one of the few remaining favorites left standing—after Larisa Iordache withdrew due to an Achilles tear right before preliminaries and Rebecca Andrade of Brazil went down with an ACL injury during…Read more...
Michigan Football Dismisses Defensive Back Nate Johnson After Domestic Violence Arrest
Following an arrest last weekend on a charge of misdemeanor domestic assault, Michigan football has dismissed cornerback Nate Johnson from the team. Johnson was taken to jail early Sunday morning when police were called to an Ann Arbor dorm room to investigate an alleged assault of a female student.
Christian Pulisic And The USMNT Are Destroying Panama
The USMNT needed to whoop on Panama tonight, and they got off to a thrilling start, unzipping the Panamanian defense twice in the first 20 minutes and adding a penalty right before halftime. The entire first half was a thrilling affair despite the soggy Orlando pitch, and there could have been at least half a dozen…Read more...
The Tennis Will Be Good As Hell This Weekend, If You're Awake For It
Frankly this chunk of the tennis calendar, known as the “Asian swing” because it passes through China and Japan, is the easiest to tune out, especially for a viewer in a U.S. time zone. The year’s last major just wrapped up, the year-end finals are still months away, and the time difference makes it forbiddingly hard…Read more...
Lionel Messi Is All Alone
It’s a funny thing, talking about what an athlete deserves. Sports are the ultimate results-oriented business, where no matter how much you love your mother or how kind and considerate you are to lovers and waiters or even how well you played in any given game, if the final whistle blows and you look up at the…Read more...
Edwin Encarnación Helped Off Field After Gross Ankle Injury [UPDATE]
Cleveland slugger Edwin Encarnación left today’s ALDS game against the Yankees in the first inning with help from teammates after suffering a gruesome leg injury while attempting to return to second base after a soft liner.Read more...
UFC Dickhead Allowed To Pull Off Unscrupulous Weigh-In Shenanigans
Kevin Lee, a dickhead, is scheduled to fight Tony Ferguson for the UFC’s interim lightweight title tomorrow. (The interim belt is only available because Conor McGregor is off looking at boats and pretending to be a boxer while Khabib Nurmagomedov can’t figure out his own physiology, which really says a lot about how…Read more...
Lawsuit Challenges NFL's Handling Of Mental Health Issues
On Oct. 17 of last year, Erin Henderson was one of two Jets players with a team-high seven tackles in a loss to the Cardinals. It was the second straight game Henderson led New York in tackles. Five days later, the Jets placed him on the non-football injury list, effectively ending his season. In February, they chose…Read more...
Bird On A Bear
Here’s a bird landing on a bear.
Blade Runner 2049 Is A Hallucinatory Wonder
The only bright colors in Blade Runner 2049 are artificial. There’s a holographic advertisement of a 60-foot-tall naked lady, whose shiny-black eyes only serve to highlight her bubblegum pink body and neon blue hair. There’s a forest, but it’s someone’s dream.
Jets Try Talking Shit To Browns, Immediately Back Down
So the New York Jets, a very bad and anonymous football team that many people believed had a shot at going 0-16, are 2-2. They’ve beaten the Jaguars and the Dolphins, and this week they take on the Browns. I guess if there was any time for the 2017 Jets to feel chesty, this is it, which explains why this since-deleted…Read more...
Where We Can Stop the Bleeding
Buying a machine gun is legal in Nevada, but it is expensive. Retrofitting a semiautomatic rifle so that it will fire like a machine gun, on the other hand, is easy, and comparatively cheap. Stephen Paddock was reportedly wealthy enough to afford the former but chose the latter before killing 59 people and injuring…Read more...
Boy, Do I Feel Naïve
Yesterday, BuzzFeed published an exposé on how soulless alt-right troll doll Milo Yiannopoulos solicited ideas and advice from white supremacists and neo-Nazis to help grow Breitbart into the mainstream hate influencer it is today. That report also contained exchanges with other journalists, ones who don’t nominally…Read more...
Is Larisa Iordache The Last Romanian Gymnast?
MONTREAL, Canada—On Wednesday afternoon, 21-year-old Larisa Iordache strode across the stage set up on the floor of the Olympic Stadium in Montreal just as she was supposed to. She presented herself to the crowd when the Romanian women’s gymnastics team was announced, acknowledged their cheers, and joined the other…Read more...
Demetrious Johnson Is Still The Perfect Champion, And It Still Doesn't Matter To The UFC
The best fighter on Earth is a diminutive video-game enthusiast. He hasn’t lost a fight in six years. Along with Anderson Silva, he currently holds the record for consecutive title defenses in the UFC: 10 consecutive opponents have tried and failed to take his belt. Slick kickboxers, gritty grinders, hyper-athletic…Read more...
Fake News and Partisan Blowhards Were Invented in the 1800s
Thomas Jefferson was looking for someone to write a hit piece. It was July 1793, just months after the U.S. declared neutrality in a war between Britain and France. The then-Secretary of State wanted a writer—or better yet, an entire publication—to criticize the government’s decision and respond to the colleague who…Read more...
Jeopardy! Contestant Has Won Eight In A Row And Works Perfectly As A Heel
Jeopardy! is a wonderful show, but it almost always features contestants who can politely be described as “bookish.” The program carries a sober tone, and host Alex Trebek keeps the antics to a minimum, even during the contestants’ mid-round anecdotes (the worst part of each episode). Then, Austin Rogers came along.
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