Famous South Jersey native and baseball player Mike Trout is at the Eagles game today, so the team’s offense performed an impressively elaborate baseball celebration to honor him (and possibly recruit him for the Phillies, who knows).Read more...

Safeties are one of the most exciting plays in football. That might sound weird, since they’re only worth two points, don’t decide games very often, if ever, but they’re fun! Also, the safety is the only play in football where players celebrate by impersonating the referee.

Mike Pence, a cauliflower that was once victimized by the movie Mulan, claimed that he walked out of today’s 49ers-Colts game, because the players supposedly disrespected the troops during the rote nationalistic pre-game ceremony. While the Colts stood arm-in-arm during the anthem, a reported 23 members of the 49ers…Read more...

First-overall pick Myles Garrett had to miss the start of the season with an ankle sprain, but in his first career NFL appearance, he quickly made up for lost time, rushing through some awful blocking to get a sack on his very first NFL snap.Read more...

The Denver Nuggets have reportedly agreed to an extension with Gary Harris, to the tune of four years and $84 million, with $74 million guaranteed and the remaining $10 million triggered by individual performance bonuses.Read more...

Today’s counterprogramming schedule is light on sports, with club soccer taking a break this weekend, but the NBA preseason is ramping up, there’s playoff baseball, a Star Wars marathon, a fair amount of pre-Halloween programming, and, hey, Blade Runner 2049 is really, really, really fucking good. There are rumors…Read more...

Esports organization Rogue has announced that it will part ways with its current Overwatch roster after not being named one of the inaugural teams in the Overwatch League.Read more...

Hey, what’d you do this summer? I built half a porch onto my house, badly, and now have to climb over a construction zone in order to enter my home, with no end in sight. Probably you did something a lot cooler than this. If you’re Thabo Sefolosha, some of what you did this summer is save a woman from drowning to…Read more...

Alex Ovechkin only needed one period yesterday to complete a feat that no NHL player had accomplished in 100 years, scoring three quick goals in the first period against Montreal to open the season with a nearly unprecedented two hat tricks in two games.Read more...

Oh, you doubt Rashaad Penny’s Heisman bona fides?Read more...

Utah lost anyway, but at least they made things interesting in the process.Read more...

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No, really, we clicked the link and there are a ton of tickets available.Read more...

The Nintendo World Championships closed out in a finale reminescent of The Wizard. The two finalists, John Numbers and Thomas G., raced across three levels of the upcoming Super Mario Odyssey, working to beat unseen levels of the upcoming Nintendo Switch game.

Malik Rosier drove Miami 75 yards after a late FSU score to deny the Seminoles a rivalry win and keep the Hurricanes undefeated in finding Darrell Langham on a 23-yard touchdown pass that seized a 24-20 victory.Read more...

Miami U. has been the MAC’s punching bag for a decade, but the hapless RedHawks had a chance to beat a very bad BGSU team with a first-and-goal from the one and less than two minutes left in the game. Miami did not win, because they fumbled and allowed the Falcons’ Brandon Harris to take it the length of the field for…Read more...

This one started with Kevin McHale, who coached James Harden for three-plus seasons in Houston, lightly but directly criticizing Harden’s capacity as a team leader, during an NBA TV panel discussion this week:Read more...

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Who’s a good dog? Yours is! It can be a bit of a mess, though.

Members of the administrative commission of dipshit also-ran-ass airport Brainerd Lakes Regional reportedly spoke out against NFL anthem protests Thurdsay, while discussing air travel contingencies for the 2018 Super Bowl, to be held in Minneapolis. This world is a goddamn toilet.Read more...

Baker Mayfield and the third-ranked Oklahoma Sooners were upset this afternoon by unranked Iowa State, a 31-point underdog, after the Cyclones outscored the Sooners 25-7 in the second half.Read more...

There is nothing more frustrating on earth than watching a lineup featuring Trea Turner, Bryce Harper, Anthony Rendon, Daniel Murphy, and Ryan Zimmerman get completely blanked by a guy who throws an 87 mph fastball. Unless you are a Cubs fan, in which case, screw you right in the ear.Read more...

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Raphael Dwamena’s match-winning goal with 15 seconds remaining in added time against Uganda came off the board as South African referee Daniel Bennett inexplicably ruled Dwamena to be offside, effectively eliminating Ghana from World Cup contention.Read more...

You will be forgiven for not knowing what the hell is going on in this highlight, which shows a bunch of people moving around pre-snap, followed by a punt that seems to catch the broadcasters by surprise, followed by a man on the punting team recovering the punt, and then celebrating about it. It’s an onside punt!Read more...

We can only assume Jay Feely is suffering from a glitch in the Matrix:Read more...

Competing at the highest level isn’t just about talent, but consistency. Hajime Taniguchi, or “Tokido,” exemplified this virtue by busting out a tape measure to ensure he was sitting the proper distance from the monitor at this morning’s TWFighter Major in Taiwan.

Well, Adrian Wojnarowski has now welcomed us to the weekend with some particularly grim and depressing NBA news: Dante Exum could miss the entire upcoming season with a separated left shoulder. Frig.Read more...

Boy have I got a highlight for you, my friends. Here’s the setting: the St. Francis de Sales Knights are down a point to the Lima Senior Spartans after Lima kicker Cole Miracle (I swear I’m not making this up) knocked in a go-ahead field goal. There are three seconds left on the clock, and Lima is kicking off. You…Read more...

College GameDay’s Kirk Herbstreit responded to Chris Petersen’s complaints about late-night Huskies kickoff times today, saying the Washington head coach should be thanking the Worldwide Leader for airing their games at all.Read more...

That last night’s Yankees-Indians game continued for more than six innings after Lonnie Chisenhall’s phantom hit-by-pitch should not distract you from the fact that this was the moment of the game. It was. Right there, with two strikes and two outs in the bottom of the sixth inning, the Yankees were on the cusp of…Read more...

The Washington Nationals announced Friday night that they had suspended assistant hitting coach Jacque Jones with pay, pending an investigation into a “legal matter.” The announcement came a little more than a week after a lawsuit was filed in San Diego by a woman, under the name Jane Doe, who said Jones vengefully…Read more...

PUIG PUIG PUIG PUIG PUIGRead more...

MONTREAL, Canada—Fifteen minutes before the women’s all-around final, Ragan Smith, the U.S. national champion and one of the few remaining favorites left standing—after Larisa Iordache withdrew due to an Achilles tear right before preliminaries and Rebecca Andrade of Brazil went down with an ACL injury during…Read more...

Following an arrest last weekend on a charge of misdemeanor domestic assault, Michigan football has dismissed cornerback Nate Johnson from the team. Johnson was taken to jail early Sunday morning when police were called to an Ann Arbor dorm room to investigate an alleged assault of a female student.

The USMNT needed to whoop on Panama tonight, and they got off to a thrilling start, unzipping the Panamanian defense twice in the first 20 minutes and adding a penalty right before halftime. The entire first half was a thrilling affair despite the soggy Orlando pitch, and there could have been at least half a dozen…Read more...

Frankly this chunk of the tennis calendar, known as the “Asian swing” because it passes through China and Japan, is the easiest to tune out, especially for a viewer in a U.S. time zone. The year’s last major just wrapped up, the year-end finals are still months away, and the time difference makes it forbiddingly hard…Read more...

It’s a funny thing, talking about what an athlete deserves. Sports are the ultimate results-oriented business, where no matter how much you love your mother or how kind and considerate you are to lovers and waiters or even how well you played in any given game, if the final whistle blows and you look up at the…Read more...

Cleveland slugger Edwin Encarnación left today’s ALDS game against the Yankees in the first inning with help from teammates after suffering a gruesome leg injury while attempting to return to second base after a soft liner.Read more...

Kevin Lee, a dickhead, is scheduled to fight Tony Ferguson for the UFC’s interim lightweight title tomorrow. (The interim belt is only available because Conor McGregor is off looking at boats and pretending to be a boxer while Khabib Nurmagomedov can’t figure out his own physiology, which really says a lot about how…Read more...

On Oct. 17 of last year, Erin Henderson was one of two Jets players with a team-high seven tackles in a loss to the Cardinals. It was the second straight game Henderson led New York in tackles. Five days later, the Jets placed him on the non-football injury list, effectively ending his season. In February, they chose…Read more...

Here’s a bird landing on a bear.

The only bright colors in Blade Runner 2049 are artificial. There’s a holographic advertisement of a 60-foot-tall naked lady, whose shiny-black eyes only serve to highlight her bubblegum pink body and neon blue hair. There’s a forest, but it’s someone’s dream.

So the New York Jets, a very bad and anonymous football team that many people believed had a shot at going 0-16, are 2-2. They’ve beaten the Jaguars and the Dolphins, and this week they take on the Browns. I guess if there was any time for the 2017 Jets to feel chesty, this is it, which explains why this since-deleted…Read more...

Buying a machine gun is legal in Nevada, but it is expensive. Retrofitting a semiautomatic rifle so that it will fire like a machine gun, on the other hand, is easy, and comparatively cheap. Stephen Paddock was reportedly wealthy enough to afford the former but chose the latter before killing 59 people and injuring…Read more...

Yesterday, BuzzFeed published an exposé on how soulless alt-right troll doll Milo Yiannopoulos solicited ideas and advice from white supremacists and neo-Nazis to help grow Breitbart into the mainstream hate influencer it is today. That report also contained exchanges with other journalists, ones who don’t nominally…Read more...

MONTREAL, Canada—On Wednesday afternoon, 21-year-old Larisa Iordache strode across the stage set up on the floor of the Olympic Stadium in Montreal just as she was supposed to. She presented herself to the crowd when the Romanian women’s gymnastics team was announced, acknowledged their cheers, and joined the other…Read more...

The best fighter on Earth is a diminutive video-game enthusiast. He hasn’t lost a fight in six years. Along with Anderson Silva, he currently holds the record for consecutive title defenses in the UFC: 10 consecutive opponents have tried and failed to take his belt. Slick kickboxers, gritty grinders, hyper-athletic…Read more...

Thomas Jefferson was looking for someone to write a hit piece. It was July 1793, just months after the U.S. declared neutrality in a war between Britain and France. The then-Secretary of State wanted a writer—or better yet, an entire publication—to criticize the government’s decision and respond to the colleague who…Read more...

Jeopardy! is a wonderful show, but it almost always features contestants who can politely be described as “bookish.” The program carries a sober tone, and host Alex Trebek keeps the antics to a minimum, even during the contestants’ mid-round anecdotes (the worst part of each episode). Then, Austin Rogers came along.