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José Bautista’s unexpected and endlessly depressing stint as a third-baseman for the Atlanta Braves, kicked-off ominously with a one-year minor league contract in mid-April, has not produced the way anyone involved might’ve hoped: Bautista is hitting a putrid .143 with an alarming .593 OPS in 40 plate appearances this…Read more...

The Preakness, held Saturday at Maryland’s Pimlico Race Course, fucking ruled! The race itself was fine: the favorite won; the favorite was also the horse that won the Kentucky Derby; therefore the actual Preakness Stakes did the job of getting the broader non-gambling world through May with reason intact to pay…Read more...

The Rays announced last week an extremely unusual, cosmic-brain plan for the immediate future of their pitching rotation: rather than the traditional approach of deploying a starting pitcher to work through the opposing lineup a few times before yielding to the bullpen, manager Kevin Cash decided to play matchup…Read more...

The Cavs opened Game 3 with a huge 22-6 run, and that was more or less that. This was not a case of the winning team grabbing an early lead behind a fluky start and nursing it cautiously until the final buzzer—the Cavs were forceful and decisive early, and did some cool and different things to challenge Boston’s…Read more...

Prohibitive favorite Justify claimed the second leg of this year’s Triple Crown as the Kentucky Derby winner seized the Preakness Stakes in a time of 1:55.93, supposedly, we’ll have to take their word for it.Read more...

Reds reliever Amir Garrett punctuated an inning-ending strikeout of Javier Baez in the seventh inning Saturday with a triumphant shout, loud enough to be audible over the television broadcast, followed by an aggressive stare-down of his vanquished foe. Unwritten rules and athlete egos being what they are, this did not…Read more...

Legendary Juventus keeper Gianluigi Buffon was substituted out at about the hour mark of today’s match against Verona. The appearance will be the last in Buffon’s incredible 17-year run at Juventus. As you can imagine, it was an emotional moment:Read more...

Cowboys wide receiver Terrance Williams was reportedly arrested Saturday morning and charged with public intoxication following a crash involving his Lamborghini, according to ESPN:Read more...

Astros mascot Orbit, who is also apparently a Jedi, was challenged to a lightsaber duel by Indians shortstop Francisco Lindor on Friday. Gotta say, I am starting to believe more and more in Luke Skywalker’s bitter “actually the Jedi are busters” preachings:Read more...

Last month Miami radio host Andy Slater joined Marlins Man on an investigative trip to the British Virgin Islands, where they learned that the corporate address of the Miami Marlins was a post office box, listed in order to establish the Marlins as a foreign company, for the most cynical of reasons. This was an…Read more...

The Madison Square Garden Company will break ground this summer in Las Vegas, according to officials (via AP), to build a massive sphere with projection and lights that sure does look like a damn blitzball arena from Final Fantasy X.Read more...

A gunman armed with a shotgun and a pistol murdered ten innocent people at Santa Fe High School, outside Houston, on Friday. A relatively minor concern for those victims’ families and friends will be how to foot funeral costs for their loved ones, but this news will nonetheless ease their terrible burden somewhat:…Read more...

Johnny Manziel, a prolific college quarterback whose career was put on hold for two years of mandatory service in the Cleveland Browns organization, will finally experience what it means to play for a professional football team:Read more...

Dremels are great for DIY projects, pumpkin carving, and apparently, pet nail trimming. This cordless Dremel includes a 45 degree angle guide designed just for pet nails, and it can be yours for just $31 today. You can also remove the guard and use this as a light-duty Dremel for any other tasks around the house.Read more...

The dreaded Cardinals chased Phillies ace Jake Arrieta after just three innings in Friday night’s gloomy, rain-delayed tilt in St. Louis. The score was then 4-0; by the time reliever Drew Hutchison finished the sixth inning it was 9-2; the game finally became a laugher when Yacksel Rios allowed another three runs in…Read more...

Just in time for beach season, this 20 can cooler is on sale today for $80, an all-time low, and about $20-$30 less than usual. Like a lot of these high density foam coolers you’ve been seeing, this one can keep ice frozen for days, so the drinks you pack in the morning will still be ice cold come the end of the day.

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The New York Times reported today that the Trump administration plans to implement a rule banning reproductive healthcare providers, like Planned Parenthood, from getting certain federal funds if they provide abortion referrals. Hours later, WNBA President Lisa Borders put out this statement:

This morning, a student at Houston-area Santa Fe High School murdered 10 people with a shotgun and a .38 caliber pistol. This is the 22nd time this year that someone with a gun has either killed or injured someone on a high school campus. Astros manager A.J. Hinch was asked about the deadly attack ahead of tonight’s…Read more...

Wario is a libertarian. Bowser is a fascist. We know this about them, in our hearts, but no one has ever sat down and categorized the political leanings of the Mushroom Kingdom’s best-known residents.Read more...

We see a lot of deals around the web over on Kinja Deals, but these were our ten favorites today.

At Jason “RustyTrombone” Husisian’s first Super Smash Bros. tournament at a hotel in Easton, Pennsylvania, he was focused on out-maneuvering his opponent when a nearby attendee’s smell filled his nostrils. “I get a whiff and I legit start coughing,” Husisian recalled. “It smelled like he worked in a crematorium.”Read more...

If there’s one benefit to working in a leadership position at a major college sports program, and there are many, it’s that even if you end up disgraced and fired, you’re probably going to stay rich as hell.

The Hollywood Reporter caused a stir on Wednesday when the publication’s Matthew Belloni tweeted that USA Network parent company NBC Universal is letting WWE’s SmackDown Live go to open bidding for a new contract. That was news, but Belloni noted that NBCU bowed out because it believed that the current offer for the…Read more...

FAU falsely reported the number of women playing for its athletic programs on its 2017 report to the Education Department, according to the Palm Beach Post.

On Wednesday, Michigan State announced that it had settled with 332 survivors of Larry Nassar’s sexual abuse for $500 million. Of that enormous sum, $425 million will be divided among the women and girls, with $75 million set aside for any future Nassar survivors who come forward.

Former World’s Strongest Man contender, world powerlifting champion, and WWF veteran Tom Magee suffered serious injuries after he was beaten by six men in a dispute over a parking spot yesterday. CBS Los Angeles reports that the dispute broke out near Magee’s Mar Vista home, and neighbors described a grisly scene.…Read more...

Through all those tough years in Orlando to his current stint in Phoenix, the most notable feature of Elfrid Payton’s game has been his head. Not his “basketball IQ” or his “clutch mentality”—just that majestic drooping frond on top. Every season it protruded further past the point guard’s forehead. It looked like it…Read more...

Osprey makes some of the most popular camping gear around, and nearly 200 of its products are on sale on Amazon for up to 25% off. These x% off sales on Amazon aren’t always actually good deals, but I spot checked a bunch of the gear in this sale, and every product I looked at was significantly cheaper than usual.

On Tuesday, just after Mariners second baseman Robinson Cano was suspended 80 games for failing a drug test, Pirates outfielder Gregory Polanco started to receive concerned texts from his friends and family in the Dominican Republic. A fake ESPN tweet began to circulate online, suggesting that Polanco would also be…Read more...

A doubles tennis match in Rome today was interrupted by a feline interloper. While Lukasz Kubot and Marcelo Melo played against Juan Sebastian Cabal and Robert Farah at the Foro Italico, a cute little cat ran across the court. Cat on the clay!Read more...

White tennis players from Telfair County High School in Georgia have been punished for posing for a photo in which they wore white bags over their heads with the eyes cut out. The photo, which was taken on Snapchat and then distributed on Facebook in the days after the tennis tournament, was taken after the Telfair…Read more...

Partly it’s superstition, and partly it’s because, as they say, he likes what he likes, Alex Ovechkin eats the exact same thing a few hours before every Capitals home game, and he’s been eating it since his rookie year. Athletes really are different from the rest of us.Read more...

Celebrate the fact it’s Friday with a giant REI sale, a couple discounted weighted blankets, a Brother all-in-one laser printer, and more.

This week, USA Gymnastics is holding its training camp for the women’s national team at Flip Fest Camp in Tennessee. (Since ceasing to host camps at the Karolyi Ranch back in January, the camps have been held in different places.) And at this month’s camp, a bomb was dropped on national team members and their coaches:…Read more...

The numbers are intimidating. The Tampa Bay Lightning had the league’s third best power play during the regular season, at 23.9 percent. They have the best power play of any team left alive, at 30.8 percent. They are 6-of-14 on the power play against the Capitals. They have scored a power-play goal in nine straight…Read more...

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Mookie Betts, the best non–Mike Trout player in baseball who makes everything look impossibly easy, has a history of showing as little mercy as possible to the division rival Baltimore Orioles. He continued that trend during last night’s 6-2 victory over the O’s in Boston.

Reuben Foster’s ex-girlfriend said last month that she had lied when she told police that the San Francisco 49ers linebacker hit her, threw a dog across the room, and broke both her cell phones. On Thursday, 28-year-old Elissa Ennis said that again—this time under oath in a San Francisco courthouse at a preliminary…Read more...

If you have trouble unwinding and turning off your brain at the end of the day, you’re gonna want to check out a weighted blanket. We’ve seen a lot of deals on 15 pound blankets lately, but today, ANJEE has not just a 15lb blanket, but a 20 pounder on sale as well. The 15lb is $110, but you can upgrade to five more…Read more...

It might seem a bit tedious to go through all the goals in the Lightning’s 4-2 Game 4 win over the Capitals on Thursday night, which evened the Eastern Conference Finals at two games apiece. But bear with me—in the tensest game of the series so far, every scoring play (minus the empty netter with two seconds to go)…Read more...

Rhodes College beat Franklin College 4-2 on the opening day of D-III regionals today, but it wasn’t without a ninth inning pitching performance that gave new meaning to the phrase “gutting it out.”Read more...

A three-run dinger from Xander Bogaerts gave his Red Sox a 6-0 lead and chased Orioles pitcher Kevin Gausman in the fifth inning of tonight’s game. While Gausman himself couldn’t have been thrilled with his mistake, O’s manager Buck Showalter appeared even more disgusted, as he couldn’t even restrain himself until…Read more...

A recent first-round NHL draft pick might be spoiling his career prospects because of a video game addiction, according to some gossip passed along by hockey analyst Jeff Marek on the Sportsnet podcast 31 Thoughts. Marek, who declined to name the player, cited a conversation with his junior general manager, who said…Read more...

New Red Sox signing J.D. Martinez had a very, very good first month in a Boston uniform—an April OPS of .994 is nothing to sneeze at—but Just Dingers has truly been living up to his nickname since May began. And in his first at-bat tonight against the Orioles, J.D.’s fifth-gear hot streak got even more impressive.Read more...

Aaron Schlossberg, the New York City lawyer who was caught on video dressing down restaurant employees for speaking Spanish and threatening to call U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement on them because he believed they were undocumented, is having a rough time since activist Shaun King released the clip Wednesday.…Read more...

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Depending on where you’re eating and who you’re eating it with, the rules around food can be stunningly complex. The core concept, however, is that food is inserted into the mouth, and once it’s there, if you find it impossible to masticate with human teeth or discover the object to be a source of pain/bleeding, an…Read more...

Nobody can be blamed for not paying too much attention to swimming in a when the Olympics aren’t going on, but whenever Katie Ledecky gets in the pool, I’ll make an exception.

Ronda Rousey wrestled her second-ever professional match, and it wasn’t even on television.Read more...