The Register

Its stock price then dipped Infosys, Asia's second biggest software exporter, has promised shareholders it will increase its dividends and stock buybacks to $2bn this year.…

Put down the chocolate, catch up on the hottest industry news We have a four-day weekend over Easter here in the UK. If you need a storage news hit as a respite from the chocolate-laden glug-fest then dip into the paragraphs below – and enjoy your Easter break.…

Tackle the message, not the message-bearer Comment The Times is campaigning to brand Facebook a "publisher" under British law. While an understandable reaction to the horrible content shared by users of the world's most popular social networking website, trying to make it subject to publishing laws would open a whole Pandora's box of trouble.…

Come as you are (every seed is sacred) Something for the Weekend, Sir? I have cheerful sperm.…

Always ensure the office laptop gets returned A systems administrator is being sued by his ex-employer, which has accused of the IT bod of planting a ticking time-bomb on company's servers to wipe the machines.…

Ping of pwn: Malicious UDP packets may take over gear A Linux kernel flaw that potentially allows miscreants to remotely control vulnerable servers, desktops, IoT gear, Android handhelds, and more, has been quietly patched.…

Don't want to use Windows 10? Then you don't want any fixes Microsoft has cut software updates and tweaks for computers powered by Intel and AMD's latest-generation processors running old versions of Windows.…

And Jupiter's Europa is looking sweet, too Pics Tantalizing new evidence of hydrothermal vents on Enceladus and liquid water on Europa have reignited hopes that alien life may exist in our Solar System, NASA announced today.…

Trump praises largest US non-nuke explosion Video For the first time, the US has used its largest non-nuclear explosive, the GBU-43/B Massive Ordnance Air Blast bomb (also known as the Mother Of All Bombs) in Afghanistan.…

Did you know that downloaded files from the internet contain malware? You may want to sit down for this. Did you know that movie files downloaded for free from the internet may contain malware?…

Everything about this is stupid Fast food chain Burger King is doubling down on an ad campaign designed to activate the Google Home appliance, even as Google and the public at large object.…

Just so long as you don't let children anywhere near it In an effort to cement its position in the voice recognition market, Amazon has opened up its Alexa technology to third parties.…

Project lead slapped in open letter after BDSM kink exile Scores of Drupal developers have formed a protest against the exiling of a project veteran who dabbled in kinky sci-fi hanky-panky.…

Carmaker apparently convinced it has a found a low-mileage niche market Honda's new electric car, the Clarity, is garnering a lot of attention – for all the wrong reasons.…

Ransomware-as-a-Service is a hit with the tech illiterate Cerber eclipsed Locky as the most common ransomware pathogen doing the rounds in the first three months of 2017.…

£20,000 donation received, but sales suggest more due Exclusive Tens of thousands of pounds destined for Great Ormond Street Hospital from ZX Spectrum Vega firm Retro Computers Limited appears not to have been paid.…

Embrace it! *shakes fist* Microsoft has started offering substantial Windows Server licence discounts as an incentive to embrace its cloud.…

Dell EMC's star all-flash array update getting closer XtremIO arrays have larger SSDs, better replication and copy data management support coming, according to the Dell World 2017 agenda for its Las Vegas appearance at The Venetian.…

Surveillance firm's toolset goes rogue in hands of cyberspooks Leaked HackingTeam spyware was used by a cyber-spy group to collect intelligence.…

Source says they're working on a sale process NoSQL database supplier Basho is looking for a sale.…

Actually, invasive slurping goes way beyond the remit of 'fitness' Free health tracker apps pose a severe privacy risk, security researchers warn.…

Reg readers look forward to a hybrid reality Research To some, cloud computing is synonymous with so-called ‘public cloud’ services such as AWS and Azure, but this isn’t the view of Reg readers. When 668 of you provided feedback during a recent survey on meeting infrastructure-level needs, the adoption of ‘private cloud’ (defined as ‘cloudy architecture running in your own datacentre’) was what came through most prominently:…

Er, wait, which hack? We've lost track... Yahoo! is set to get a spanking under European Union data protection laws for the biggest of the many megabreaches it copped to last year.…

But why would you want to? The BBC and NHS epitomise enterprise: the BBC has 23,000 staff while the NHS is one of the world's largest employers, with 1.4 million. Their IT estate is vast and central to the delivery of their services. The BBC's iPlayer is on the front line in a world of on-demand TV defined by Netflix, and among its layered infrastructure NHS servers run complex systems of reconciling payment for treatments.…

Scandal returns to the site's adult classifieds section Three people have been indicted for operating a sex trafficking ring through the scandalous classifieds website Backpage.com's adult section.…

Attempts to block takeovers by companies it doesn't like +Comment Broadcom may be better placed financially to bid for Toshiba's memory business because Western Digital is burdened with debt from its $16bn SanDisk acquisition. Knowing this, WD is setting up a contract law barrage.…

Getting down and dirty at the HCI coal face with Scale Computing Profile Scale Computing CEO Jeff Ready reckons its hyperconverged HC3 software is better than anyone else's because it's integrated into the hypervisor's core and not just another VM.…

So a developer de-bugged his personality with a long-range hack On-Call Welcome again to On-Call, The Reg’s usually-on-Friday column in which readers share tales of being asked to do nasty jobs at nasty times, often for nasty people.…

King Battistelli's crusade starts charging down the wrong hill Analysis When he's not ignoring national laws and threatening employees, the president of the European Patent Office (EPO), Benoit Battistelli, is on a crusade to make things work faster.…

Molybdenum disulfide could be potential alternative to silicon in sensors, clothes, etc A team of engineers from the Vienna University of Technology in Austria has created what they claim is the most complex flat and flexible microprocessor to date – using a molybdenum disulfide semiconductor.…

Threads of elusive particles form cosmic cobwebs Pic Astrophysicists have for the first time spotted filaments of dark matter forming bridges between galaxies tens of millions of light-years apart.…

Schroedinger's snake slithers into Bank's quantum sim Australia's Commonwealth Bank has bought a simulated quantum computer that you can program with Python.…

Developer and self-described 'anarchist' gets lessons in opsec Russia is shy a Tor exit node, after a university maths teacher was arrested for his involvement in protests in that country.…

Get Kevin Mitnick on the line, he knows something about whistling codes, apparently Strap yourself into the DeLorean: researchers from Duo reckon the Dallas tornado alarm incident was a case of old-style DTMF phreaking.…

No jokes about dinosaurs SAP has rushed out a patch for its TREX search engine, after security researchers found bugs in a 2015 patch.…

Nine advisories landed today Clear the diaries, Juniper sysadmins, a van-load of patches landed today.…

Worried about losing your payment data? Shake it off and use this Inter-bank data comms biz SWIFT says it has introduced mechanisms to better protect money transfers from tampering.…

Sysadmins furious at unscheduled snow-day, worry about Easter availability Updated: Back online Netregistry and TPP Wholesale have lost six DNS servers between them, causing plenty of angst and anger on Australia's corner of the Internet.…

This IoT goose is cooked Miscreants can remotely turn off and on posh Aga ovens via unauthenticated text messages, security researchers have warned.…

Chap claims accounting cockup left a permanent black mark on his credit history A bloke in the US is suing Verizon alleging that a billing blunder left him with bad credit.…

Не волнуйтесь. Мы уже это сделали, товарищи Following demands for an investigation into the security of India's electronic voting machines, the country's election watchdog has invited all comers to hack its e-ballot boxes.…

Ugly confrontation coming up this year The lobbying group for Big Internet – Google, Facebook, Amazon, Twitter et al – has warned the chair of US comms watchdog the FCC that it will fight him on efforts to get rid of net neutrality rules.…

Afrinic considers punitive policy for errant governments Governments that cut off internet access to their citizens could find themselves refused new IP addresses under a proposal put forward by one of the five global IP allocation organizations.…

Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, crappy ad meant to upset us Updated Artery-attacking mega-chain Burger King has thrown up a new online advertisement designed to hijack nearby Google Home gizmos.…

Wak€ up and patch your sy£tems, already Severe cyber-break-ins permanently stripped 1.8 per cent off companies' stock prices, on average, according to a new study out today.…

Advisory group wants Blighty's policy to align with Europe's An industry group for the broadband sector has listed the risks facing the telecommunications sector following Brexit, including the impact on roaming charges, free movement of labour and European investment, in a report published today [PDF].…

Shuttleworth returns as CEO Exclusive More than 80 Canonical workers are facing the axe as founder Mark Shuttleworth has taken back the role of chief executive officer.…

Another reason for non-delivery, perhaps? Parcel delivery biz Hermes has become the latest company to roll out self-driving robots in London, promising autonomous deliveries in the borough of Southwark.…

Shiny new web form can't cope with Budget month The UK's taxmen have scuppered several piss-ups after brewers discovered the Government Gateway's online duty calculator can't calculate the latest beer tax hikes.…

But Cabinet Office has ruled out interference from hostile powers A committee of MPs has expressed concerns that foreign hackers might have had a hand in crashing the UK's voter registration website last year shortly before the Brexit referendum.…