The Register

Oh no, steam leak! Ayymm Mellltingggg Asus has unveiled a gaming notebook that comes with its own water cooling system.…

Quite literally TREELLIONS of funky trunks If you like to hug trees, there's great news for you today - there are an awful lot more trees out there to hug than had been thought.…

Sixteen Does fingered for piracy in Portland Another US movie studio has filed suit against users alleged to have illegally viewed movies with the Popcorn Time app.…

It's game over, spinning disks Nexenta and SanDisk are integrating the latter's dense InfiniFlash JBOF with the former's NexentaStor to build a half-petabyte-in-3U all-flash array starting at $1.5/GB raw. At these prices disk may not be dead, but it's heading for the mortician's parlor.…

Rumours and leaks for 2016's hottest processors The two big boys of the mobile chip world, MediaTek and Qualcomm, are about to see their flagship products – the Helios X20 and Snapdragon 820 respectively – come to market, with details starting to emerge; and it's likely to be all about the numbers.…

Spinner's analyst day revelation Seagate told analysts on Wednesday it is crafting its own helium-filled drives in its development labs, and is months away from shipping them as products.…

They use the same programs, so they must be helping the PKK, claims clueless gov Possession of an encryption program used by jihadists is being cited of evidence against two Vice News journalists and a local fixer / translator arrested in Turkey, who now face terror-related charges.…

Amazingly, it might not even be the Chinese government causing it Security researchers have discovered more examples of pre-installed malware on Android smartphones.…

If the LTE gang gets its way DTT is toast, says report With WRC–15 only a few months away, the battle to protect terrestrial television isn't over yet. Last week the European Broadcasting Union released a fact sheet (PDF) that summarises the key issue – can LTE share spectrum with digital terrestrial television?…

Cause if you get it wrong, you'll get it right next time (next time) IFA 2015 Acer will release the "Jade Primo" PC Phone later this year, running Windows and taking advantage of Microsoft's Continuum feature to behave like a PC when connected to an external display, keyboard and mouse.…

Knuckle gestures and mini scales also on the way... just not yet IFA2015 Apple introduced “force touch” in its MacBook earlier this year, and it is expected to appear on iPhones very soon. But Huawei has stolen some of Apple’s thunder by announcing a flagship with the variable pressure feature at Berlin’s IFA consumer show today.…

Soyuz soars heavenwards from Baikonur Cosmodrome The Kazakh Space Agency's Aidyn Aimbetov, European Space Agency (ESA) astronaut Andreas Mogensen, and Russian cosmonaut Sergei Volkov are en route to the International Space Station following their successful dispatch heavenwards from Baikonur Cosmodrome earlier today.…

Méchant matey denies Dominique Strauss Kahn protest Vid+update A hacker defaced an electronic parking sign with a "poem" of vulgarities - and has since told The Register it was not a protest against the acquittal of Dominique Strauss-Kahn on pimping charges, although he did do it right under the noses of the Gendarmerie Nationale.…

Dead tree goalposts are noiselessly, virtually moved once again Once again the NHS has unveiled grand plans to become paperless, with NHS England's national director for patients and information Tim Kelsey this time naming 2020 as the momentous date.…

Please buy our in-memory databases, says German ERP peddler Teutonic enterprise resource planning provider SAP has unveiled a cloudy HANA big data update, in an effort to drum up more interest in its in-memory databases.…

Not using that bit of data, then dump it into online storage A motley crew of ex-google engineers is crowdfunding the “Robin” smartphone, which claims a whopping 100GB of storage.…

Cash lures Blue Origin to Sunshine State Amazon supremo Jeff Bezos' space tentacle Blue Origin has been offered another eight million reasons to operate in Florida, in the form of a suitcase full of cash for the mysterious "Project Panther".…

Latent luxury Linux laptop targets financially fit fruity firm's finest Rising Dragon Xiaomi is reported to be revving up the tanks to park on Apple’s lawn with the launch of a laptop.…

But they didn't deliberately try and trip up rivals with false positives Russian anti-malware firm Dr.Web tested rivals to see if they blindly accepted malware reports shared through cross-industry intelligence systems like Kaspersky Lab, according to investigative reporter Brian Krebs. However, Dr.Web stopped short of using services such as VirusTotal to trip up rivals, the focus of fiercely contested allegations against Kaspersky Lab.…

Strong-arm attempt? Whatever Worstall on Wednesday As El Reg's dodgy metals dealer it's incumbent upon me to tell you all that Molycorp has just closed Mountain Pass, the western hemisphere's only rare earth mine. This will, of course, mean disaster because we've suddenly no source of those lovely minerals with which to build all sorts of exciting gadgetry.…

56 Dean Street drops perhaps the worst DP clanger of all time The ICO is looking into a data blunder at 56 Dean Street, a sexual health clinic operated as part of Chelsea and Westminster NHS Foundation Trust, after it emailed the HIV positive status of nearly 800 patients to the entire group.…

Like 'Pink Floyd: Live at Pompeii', only with more VMware announcements

Three sausages does unlicenced aggregation A substantial software upgrade for Ericsson mobile networking kit will improve throughput, said the firm – adding it will need new hardware, meaning your existing device won’t automatically run faster.…

Paradigms shifted in drive to world domination Logowatch Paradigms were shifted and the Earth possibly wobbled a little on its axis yesterday as Google announced a new logo to brand its continuing drive towards total world domination.…

Yeah, actually, you know those costs, they’re not 'viable' now Exclusive The department for Business, Innovation and Skills has shunned a major outsourcing deal with Steria and the Cabinet Office, embarrassingly citing the costs and risks of the project as "no longer viable".…

Magazine form emails EVERYONE on mailing list Updated British newsagent WHSmith has a major privacy hole on its website, after its magazine subscription service began emailing everyone on the mailing list.…

World's first 10-inch touchscreen convertible Googletop Review Asus’s new Chromebook Flip isn’t the first touchscreen Chromebook we’ve fondled here at The Register. That accolade belongs to the Lenovo N20p. But since the N20p has been discontinued in the UK, Asus needn't worry about its new convertible being overshadowed by it.…

There's GOLD in them thar antitrust cases, apparently As Google’s European antitrust woes continue (and problems in India appear) lawyers and lobbyists have teamed up to help facilitate more cases against the Chocolate Factory.…

Ultra-fast server host attachment links are coming Tegile, which has just launched a 2-tier IntelliFlash HD all-flash array, has plans to ramp up its capabilities dramatically.…

But it's 2015 and nobody cares about Web apps Google is demoting mobile websites with full screen app advertisements possibly consigning it to the cesspit of the internet that is search result page 2.…

The force is strong in this one, Darth VMworld 2015 Behold the storage sun king – VMware is the center of a storage solar system with planets and asteroids orbiting around it in belts: the EVO, VSAN, and VVOL orbital zones. Fresh activity has been detected by telescopes on planet Register using its snark-o-scope.…

DNS response fondling confounds security Security bod Joel Land has reported zero-day holes in a popular model of Belkin router allowing attackers to yank cleartext credentials, spoof DNS responses, and pop admin interfaces.…

At last, humanity's real problems tackled Many jaded readers of the Register, noting on the interwebs the endless stream of stories about self-driving cars - being worked upon by such companies as Google - may have wondered whether in fact anyone at all is actually working on the real, genuine problems confronting the human race.…

Running from the law? Better stay in the bush. Cops in crocodile-infested Northern Australia will use facial recognition matched to photos from CCTV and body-worn cameras to capture felons across the vast state.…

Sockpuppet purge flushes 400 accounts Update The Wikimedia Foundation has gone on another shill-kill, announcing that it's flicked 381 “paid advocacy” accounts and pulled 210 articles created by the offending accounts.…

Great Barrier Reef boffins poisoning Crown of Thorns by remote control An Australian university is about to start deploying drones on a seek-and-destroy mission. The target? The Crown of Thorns Starfish, which is famously a serious danger to the country's Great Barrier Reef.…

How do you LOSE a complaint against Kyle Sandilands? HOW? It's official: Australians can call their elected representatives “wankers” on air, as long as they mean it as a term of abuse rather than a literal description of their sexual activity.…

CoreBot infant could grow to painful teenager IBM threat researcher Limor Kessem has found a new modular malware credential stealer that could become a significant enterprise threat.…

Now will you please stop leaking our slides? A leak in Japan has led Intel to rush out the full details of its Skylake chip lineup.…

All 160,000 can stand in claim over tips, says beak A California judge has granted class-action status to a suit filed on behalf of Uber drivers.…

Rip out these batts now – unless you like starring down at the charred remains of your lap Fujitsu is recalling a bunch of laptop batteries due to overheating concerns.…

Affected workers to receive aid starting 'later this month' Nearly three months after the US Office of Personnel Management (OPM) discovered its databases had been compromised by Chinese hackers, the government still hasn't notified the employees and contractors affected by the breach.…

Three challenges rival operator over sketchy UK geography Blighty's ad watchdog has given Vodafone a ticking off following a complaint from rival carrier Three, which successfully challenged the firm's "unbeatable at connecting calls" claims.…

How easily one forgets Archive.org, home to the popular Wayback Machine, is again blocked in Russia, according to a site that monitors IP addresses banned in that country.…

AirWatch tweaked to manage Win10 VMworld 2015 VMware's trying to put itself into the Windows desktop management business with its AirWatch mobile device management and identity management products.…

Oh, did you mean that to be a PRIVATE repository? A web developer from South Africa said a bug in a tool for using Microsoft's Visual Studio IDE with code-sharing site GitHub inadvertently exposed his sensitive data – and the error cost him more than $6,500 (£4,250) in just a few hours.…

'Big end of town' breathes sigh of relief A change to competition laws that would have given small businesses a lever against the big end of town has been scuppered, with Australia's largest carrier among the successful lobbyists.…

Admitted to pocketing a cool $820,000 during investigation A former US Secret Service agent has pleaded guilty to money laundering and obstruction of justice charges stemming from his misconduct during the criminal investigation of Silk Road.…

Do you wanna make telly shows with us – or with the losers? Apple is reportedly in talks with television studios to develop original shows for its planned internet video-streaming service.…

Neat trick but not undetectable Fears that malware is hiding in people's graphics chipsets may be overclocked, according to Intel Security.…