www.theregister.com - Articles

Chocolate Factory taking performance tool out behind the barn Google has announced the impending retirement of its PageSpeed Service web optimization tool, and potentially causing headaches for sites that don't account for the move.…

Make money. Permission denied. Su do make money. OK Struggling chipmaker AMD hosted an all-day meeting in New York City on Wednesday to reassure financial analysts that its product portfolio is strong and it plans to return to growth this year.…

One bloke's 'Android store for cloud services' dream Collision 2015 It wasn't that long ago that when you wanted decent software you went to a retail store like Staples and bought a cardboard box with a CD inside.…

Smart home technology adoption requires fresh thinking, says August's Jason Johnson Collision 2015 We should rent our Nest thermostats, Sonos speakers and August smartlocks, according to Jason Johnson, the CEO of internet-of-doorlocks upstart August.…

No more installer vomit, but Store security somewhat broken The Windows 10 Store will include traditional Windows desktop applications, thanks to Microsoft's Project Centennial (Project C).…

Sir Jony wants your juices. For science, of course… Apple is set to enable DNA handling in iOS apps, allowing the applications to feed data from DNA labs to genetic researchers via iPhones or iPads.…

Trying to be too clever for its own good? Collision 2015 3D printing posterchild MakerBot moved too fast with untested technology and that's why it was forced to cut 20 per cent of its staff, abolish three divisions and closed three shops.…

This is only a test. This is only a test Pics and vid At 0900 EDT (1300 UTC) today, SpaceX launched a Dragon 2 capsule, capable of carrying a human crew, high into the sky, and gently landed it on the Atlantic ocean. It was a NASA-required experiment to test whether or not the craft can safely return to Earth without killing anyone onboard if a launch is aborted shortly after takeoff.…

Pattern of newtech depth charges brackets Nexsan with shattering effects The good ship Imation is like a World War Two submarine facing attack, with the captain yelling out "Dive! Dive! Dive!" - because diving is what all its revenues are doing.…

Robot in Distress - penny drops at Commish Analysis Europe’s digital single market proposals encapsulate many of the EU’s problems in one handy document. The intentions are noble, but the utopian “solutions” are clumsy and inept, leaving Eurocrats attempting to brute-force something that people don’t want onto a diverse and disparate collection of countries.…

Automation lab gets to probe globe Puppet Enterprise is getting a boost in its global sales footprint, with EMC deciding its customers need a bit of devops love and adding the automation suite to its hybrid clouds.…

Are you a believer in the One True Cloudâ„¢?

Why can't I get that lower price on the Amazon site in the country next door? Eh? The EU’s executive arm has officially launched its probe into the e-commerce sector to find out why Europeans aren’t buying across national borders much.…

You think only Yankees can have a Patriot Act? Think again mon brave Yesterday French Parliamentarians voted overwhelmingly in favour of creating their very own version of the US Patriot Act.…

Invasion of the bucketheads foretold for Q1 next year Oculus has announced that its hotly debated Rift headbucket is finally set to be shipped to customers in the first quarter of 2016. A consumer version of the headset, which has slowly crawled towards the market since developer kit was flogged over Kickstarter, has been settled on, and Oculus promise will soon be strapped to noggins everywhere.…

L is for Lenovo, lax, lackadaisical, loophole and many other words Lenovo faces renewed accusations of lax security practices - just three months after the Superfish debacle - after it was obliged to fix flaws in its software update system.…

Security bods warn of potential wristy fat-pipe abuse Users of Apple's healthcare data app platform - intended to allow developers access to healthcare info collected via its wristy watch gizmo - could be left wide open to security exploits, infosec bods have warned.…

And it's optimised for better finger fun Review As Geddy Lee of Rush once sang – “plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose”. When Apple unveiled the MacBook Air back in 2008 we all scoffed and said that Steve Jobs’ slimline progeny was over-priced and underpowered. “It doesn’t even have an Ethernet port”, came the mocking cry (followed by the entire PC industry doing exactly the same thing with hundreds of over-priced and underpowered Ultrabooks).…

Everyone very embarrassed and upset with stupid old money from software sales Sales rose 6.5 per cent to £699m during accounts-ware biz Sage's half-year results, despite the company's poor cloudy progress.…

Ignore the 'leccy meter, chump Worstall on Wednesday The Official Greatest Business Plan Of All Time was back at the time of the South Sea Bubble of the Georgian Age. A promoter made a stock offering for “A company for carrying on an undertaking of great advantage but no one to know what it is.”…

Wild goose chase across level playing field begins The European Commission has finally unveiled its big Digital Single Market Strategy (DSM). Despite leak after leak over recent weeks, Digi Commissioners Andrus “The Robot” Ansip and Gunther H-dot Oettinger took to the podium together (for the first time) with due pomp and ceremony on Wednesday.…

Get ready for the 'Age of the Internet of STUFF' Google has opened up its Bigtable database – which, among other things powers the ad giant's search tech – to businesses handling vast amounts of data.…

Freightliner's Inspiration Truck - more than meets the eye By the sweet electrostatic atmosphere of Cybertron! American truck manufacturer Freightliner has premiered its first robot big rig, and it has already received a road license plate for autonomous operation on public highways.…

Reg Roundtable offers secure and anonymous talk and networking CIO Manifesto If you head up security for your organisation, you probably feel like you’re caught between know-it all techies, ignorant directors and unbending compliance regulations.…

There are only 24 HOURS left to SAVE the Gov Digital Service ¡Bong! Millions of Britons will go to the polls tomorrow for (we hope) the last ever analogue General Election. Several million more, many of whom share the same names and live at a surprisingly small number of addresses in inner-city constituencies, have already voted.…

But your server bits get rustled, cowboy Review The Debian Project may not be that slow with new releases, but sometimes it feels like it. The project typically releases a new version "when it's ready," which seems to work out to about once every two years lately.…

Some sort of new NFC tapcash to replace bPay 'trial' in June Barclaycard will be switching off the service for the bPay mobile payments bracelet on May 31st.…

Some S6s are more equal than others, even among the golden ones When you buy a Samsung S6 you might get the impressive Sony IMX240 camera sensor ... or you might get the Samsung Isocell unit.…

FTC gets out microscope, ponders crawl up Cupertino's ass The United States Federal Trade Commission is investigating Apple, again, following concerns that its to-be-relaunched Beats Music streaming service may gain an unfair advantage by exploiting the market dominance of Apple's iTunes store.…

New box pops up just a bit early in YouTube vid When Dell acquired EqualLogic and later Compellent, it used the former brand for its low-end storage and the latter for its bigger bit boxen.…

Turning terabytes and exabytes into galaxies at SKA Once completed, the Square Kilometre Array (SKA) will be the biggest radio astronomy telescope in the world.…

Physical possessions? Pah! We'll all be sat at home in our pants playing games Global digital content sales are on track to hit $154bn (£113bn) annually by 2019, up 60 per cent from 2014, according to recent analysis.…

Microsoft and University of Nottingham boffins design a deck of memory-joggers Microsoft and University of Nottingham researchers say developers should be taught to design privacy and security using flash cards if they find wordy regulation documents onerous.…

If you lost your job to software, you can sympathize The NSA has been using software to convert intercepted phone calls into transcripts stored in searchable databases, it is claimed. It is also entirely believable: Dragon Dictate isn't exactly top secret, is it?…

Asking for a friend (the UN's standards bods at the ITU) The UN's International Telecommunication Union (ITU) has set up a new focus group to look at how today’s landline networks can be adapted to provide the backhaul for 5G. In other words, how to use today's cabling to link high-speed 5G phone masts to carrier networks and the wider internet.…

Sequel to SOHOplessly Broken challenge aims to give bored thing-makers a nasty shock The Internet of Things (IoT) will, come August, be torn apart in a new hacking slaughterfest announced for DEFCON 23.…

Live Below the Line challenge cracked, good wedge of cash raised Dietary normality has returned for the members of the El Reg Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse, who last Friday completed the Live Below the Line challenge to live for five days on just one pound sterling a day for food.…

Angry users' bank holiday weekends were too quiet Updated UK telco Three appears to be having problems with its Home Signal femtocells.…

Nonagenerian judge doesn't hold back in assessment of Prenda Law Video Prenda Law – the copyright troll whose exploits included seeding smut onto torrents, seeing who downloaded them, and threatening them with exposure if they didn't pay up as infringers – has been described as “crooked” and “extortionate” by a 91-year-old judge.…

It's an evolved, converged cable access platform Cisco's joined the DOCSIS 3.1 game, launching an access platform it says will scale from 1 Gbps to 10 Gbps as what it calls a “hub in a box” environment.…

All your STBs are belong to the cloud ARM has become the latest silicon vendor to pitch a major network function virtualisation (NFV) strategy, and has announced a partnerships with Applied Micro and Netzyn, and with Enea.…

ISP's board to investors: SIGN NOW YOU FOOLS! Australia's TPG Telecom has increased its offer for internet service provider iiNet, leapfrogging a counter-bid by the M2 group to emerge as the preferred buyer.…

A drop of polydimethylsiloxane saves lab rats $19,999.97 Four University of Houston researchers say ordinary phone cameras can be turned into microscopes comparable with a US$15,000 device, by using lenses worth three cents apiece .…

Rough around the edges, not sure why it exists but ripe for innovation and productisation Chris C Kemp, the former NASA CIO credited with originating OpenStack, has predicted stacks-in-a-box that make the cloud platform more accessible and easier to use aren't far off.…

Hyperscaling HP servers HP wants to stick its elbows back into the hyperscale market, announcing a bunch of upcoming servers using the latest Intel silicon.…

Lock-in still a winning strategy, outgoing CEO tells CNBC Cisco's now-outgoing CEO John Chambers has reiterated his belief that the Borg has already beaten off the white-box market.…

Googlers tell all to our pals at The Platform Google is ready to fold its advanced Omega cluster management software into its monolithic Borg, the technology that schedules workloads across the web giant's data center empire.…

Former CEO maintains accounting-irregularity suit is baseless On Tuesday, HP made public the details of the lawsuit it has filed against former Autonomy executives Mike Lynch and Sushovan Hussain in the UK, in what is just the latest round in litigation that is only likely to get uglier as the suit progresses.…

It's all about gaming, cars, and cloud from now on Nvidia has said it will wind down its Icera wireless modem business as it looks to exit the mobile computing market, where it has struggled to compete against the likes of Qualcomm and Samsung.…

Adds home storage to solar power offering You could almost pity Australian energy company AGL: while Elon Musk was displaying Tesla's Powerwall to a breathless, waiting world, it quietly entered the consumer battery storage market and nobody noticed.…