The Register

Shooter, enraged by vid biz, kills self as hundreds of staff flee campus Final update A woman armed with a handgun opened fire today at the headquarters of YouTube, shooting three people. She was found dead after turning her gun on herself.…

After eight months of loafing, baguette biz finally rises to security obligations The website for restaurant chain Panera Bread has made the personal information for customers' online accounts available for takeout since August last year, according to security researcher Dylan Houlihan.…

US space agency's Concorde-cutter project is go Vid Supersonic air travel over land has been stymied since the 1960s due to the rather annoying sonic booms generated by speedy airplanes.…

If at first, er, second, ah, third, no, fourth, you fail, sadly, you're probably Redmond Days after Microsoft released its third attempt at a fix for the Meltdown security vulnerability in Intel's modern processors, system administrators say many of their 64-bit Windows 7 and Server 2008 R2 boxes are still unable to be properly patched.…

Change your passw... ugh, what's the point? Hackers have compromised hundreds of e-commerce sites running the popular open-source Magento platform to scrape credit card numbers and install crypto-mining malware.…

Teardown chaps give Apple's edu-slab 2/10 for repairability Teardown show-offs iFixit have found few changes with the latest iPad – but it does have a larger battery than the more expensive "Pro" iPad.…

Forget the old case, DoJ tells Supremes, all hail CLOUD Act The US government has issued Microsoft with a new warrant to get access to emails held on the firm's Irish servers, while asking the Supreme Court to dismiss the existing legal battle.…

Data protection biz hammered for lacklustre performance Updated Under-performing data protection biz Commvault is under pressure from activist investor Elliott Management to make board and operational changes alongside a share buy-back programme.…

Co-incidence much that it’ll run in Azure, and Microsoft just scored better security creds down under? Citrix has extended its cloud to Australia, with a new “Asia-Pacific South” region joining its US-based and EMEA efforts as of April 4th, Sydney time.…

Boffins find smartphones more accurate than humans Research published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal (CMAJ) has shown a smartphone application is superior to traditional physical examination for spotting when it is safe to stick a needle into an artery.…

Pascal Bourguet asked to arrest sales slide in US PC biz Lenovo is parachuting an EMEA exec into its North America computer division that has recorded year-on-year sales declines for the past six consecutive quarters.…

Cupertino faces a Windows 8 moment Comment It's come full circle. Young reporters joining a prestigious tech publication 20 years ago were quietly advised to focus on only three companies in what we then called "Client Computing". Who were they?…

Users fuming... if only they had a consumer champion to turn to Consumer group Which? is to terminate its 20-plus-year-old email service, giving long-standing users two months to switch accounts.…

One firing, two firings, three... Hello? Can you hear me? The India Space Research Organisation (ISRO) has lost contact with GSAT-6A during a second firing of thrusters to nudge the 2,000kg telecommunications satellite towards an operational orbit.…

Centra Tech raised more than $30m from investors Two men have been arrested on suspicion of spinning a "web of lies" to sell unregistered crypto investments.…

Inexorable tape density, super-fast NVMe drives, and more backup than you can handle DDN is chief among this week's round-up of tasty storage nuggets: it has jumped on the GPU bandwagon and fed Nvidia's DGX-1 souped-up server, claiming it's the fastest data source for said super box.…

Call for software to throw badly behaved biz in fake data tar pits Ad and JavaScript blocking is not enough to thwart privacy invasions by the likes of Facebook: more active countermeasures are needed.…

But Stanley Kubrick and Arthur C Clarke's monument could've been a very different beast HAL: Dave, I don't understand why you have to do this to me. I know I've done some bad things, but I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission.…

We make sense of the range For some Reg readers there's only One True Laptop, and it's the ThinkPad. Yes, still.…

Redmond claims to be world’s biggest tape user, but wants a faster alternative for AI data Microsoft is working on a new class of disk-based storage appliance for its Azure cloud service, because tape is proving too hard and too slow to use in some situations.…

IBM shafting fifty-somethings shows business-as-usual hasn't been disrupted At a riotous final concert at San Francisco’s Winterland auditorium, The Sex Pistols’ frontman Johnny Rotten notoriously trolled the crowd with a final line, “Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?” as the band walked offstage after a fifteen-minute set.…

We'll share query data, but only with these really trustworthy researchers Analysis Cloudflare has revealed a deal with regional internet registry APNIC to provide a possibly more privacy-conscious DNS resolver at a prestige network address, 1.1.1.1.…

Cross-platform chat client crueled by death of code underpinnings The Tor project will “sunset” its Messenger, a project launched in 2015 in the hope of improving security for social networks’ messaging services.…

Kernel’s now 450,000 lines lighter after ditching chip architectures nobody used Linus Torvalds has pulled the trigger and released version 4.16 of the Linux kernel, thereby killing off his own suggestion this release might need an extra week to mature.…

Co-location is the interesting part of otherwise vanilla Azure with-extra-security offering Microsoft has flicked the switch on two new data centres for Australian and New Zealand government customers.…

Coitus collaboration code claims – THE TRUTH Hookup fixer Grindr is on the defensive after it shared sensitive information, including HIV status and physical location, of its app's users with outside organizations.…

NASA mission's airy position: To check if extraterrestrial bonking will work as expected NASA will study the feasibility of human reproduction in space, it announced on Monday.…

NASA wants to check if extraterrestrial nookie will work NASA are launching a new mission to study the possibilities of human reproduction in space, it announced on Monday.…

1 in 9 plugin submissions broke the rules, ads giant complains Google will throw cryptocurrency-mining extensions out of its Chrome Web Store after finding so many were badly behaved.…

Chipzilla accused of underpaying Asian woman to the tune of $40,000 per year Intel has been accused of discrimination after a former employee says she was severely underpaid based on her race and gender.…

Crouching tiger, flaming dragon China's first space station flamed out in the atmosphere and any remaining fragments have now been consigned to a watery grave in the South Pacific.…

And you'll need more than wings to reach it Icarus, a gigantic bright blue star, is the farthest such body yet discovered by astroboffins, the Space Telescope Science Institute announced on Monday.…

Bougie buyers bitten by baddies' bank-blasting bug Updated Luxury store chain Saks Fifth Avenue has confirmed it was the victim of a massive cyber-attack that could compromise millions of shoppers.…

Automaker coughs, coughs info on Apple techie's fatal prang The US National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) has expressed displeasure with electric carmaker Tesla for releasing information relevant to a fatal Model X crash in California last month without alerting the agency beforehand.…

Plus: Samsung overtakes in semiconductor revenues Apple is once again reportedly working on switching out Intel processors for its own homegrown, presumably 64-bit Arm-compatible, CPUs in Macs.…

Title-generating software seriously sought after as site turns 20 Job ad The Register seeks full-time developers and data scientists to build headline and other text-generating software tools.…

Title-generating software seriously sought as your fave website turns 20 April Fool The Register seeks full-time developers and data scientists to build software tools to generate El Reg-style headlines and other text.…

The wacky world of AI this week Roundup Here's your weekly AI roundup. There were new announcements from Nvidia's GPU Technology Conference and Google's TensorFlow Dev Summit while France announced its own national AI strategy in a report and vowed €1.5bn in public funding.…

The wacky world of AI this week Roundup Here's your weekly AI roundup. There were new announcements from Nvidia's GPU Technology Conference and Google's TensorFlow Dev Summit while France announced its own national AI strategy in a report and vowed €1.5bn in public funding.…

Damage control needed for damage control Facebook held a press conference on Thursday to provide details about its efforts to prevent electoral manipulation, only to have its damage control eclipsed by the publication of an executive's internal memo from 2016 suggesting growth mattered more than human life.…

Jeff Bezos will do to your MP3s what he did to your bookstore Amazon says subscribers to its moribund Music Storage Service have 30 days to claim any song files they have stored on the service or lose them forever.…

Security theater or something more interesting? Augmented reality dreamers Magic Leap has finally begun shipping its hardware – along with a long series of ludicrous security requirements.…

GPU shortage equals four-month wait time for buyers Tech companies are suffering setbacks from the shortage of Nvidia’s GPUs, with the GeForce series being hit the hardest.…

GPU shortage equals four-month wait time for buyers Tech companies are suffering setbacks from the shortage of Nvidia’s GPUs, with the GeForce series being hit the hardest.…

Even now your java kills you – man, these rules are bogus A California judge has ordered major coffee chains to put a cancer warning on their beverages.…

Even now your java kills you – man, these rules are bogus A California judge has ordered major coffee chains to put a cancer warning on their beverages.…

The State Department seeks to expand its social media vetting beyond flagged visa applicants The US Department of State wants to ask visa applicants to provide details on the social media accounts they've used in the past five years, as well as telephone numbers, email addresses, and international travel during this period.…

The State Department seeks to expand its social media vetting beyond flagged visa applicants The US Department of State wants to ask visa applicants to provide details on the social media accounts they've used in the past five years, as well as telephone numbers, email addresses, and international travel during this period.…

Latest lift-off will see rocket sinking and a ship playing catch SpaceX successfully launched 10 satellites into space Friday, completing its sixth launch this year.…

When it suits them, they don't give a rat's arse about your privacy Comment Political grandstanding about giving the UK's information commissioner more power rings hollow when parliamentarians tend to ignore her warnings about new data protection law and their parties continue to slurp up data for their own ends.…