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Fifteen questions on general knowledge and topical trivia, plus a few jokes every Thursday – how will you fare?A new year! 2022! A chance for a new beginning! A chance to put it all behind you! Everything is renewed! But not here at the Thursday quiz, where it is the same old gubbins as ever, or as one excited commentator put it last week: “Sheesh Martin, the Sparks shoehorn? Again?” Ahead of you lie 15 topical and general knowledge questions, sprinkled with a generous helping of Ron from Sparks, a hidden Doctor Who reference, the wonderful Kate Bush and all your favourites. It is just for fun and there are no prizes, but let us know how you get on in the comments.The Thursday quiz, No 37If you do think there has been an egregious error in one of the questions or answers, please feel free to email martin.belam@theguardian.com but remember, the quiz master’s word is always final, and his new year resolution was to ignore all his work emails. Continue reading...

From Brexit written across a bum to the name of an ex, some tattoos are mistakes that their owners are desperate to erase. But is costly laser treatment worth the pain?At the temple of regret, you can have your mistakes burned away by a smiling practitioner, if you are willing to pay a hefty fee. I’m at an unremarkable office block near Monument tube station in central London, watching the remorseful have their body art erased at Pulse Light Clinic, which offers state-of-the-art tattoo removal using laser technology. As penitents of all ages, walks of life and ethnicities walk through the door, one thing becomes clear: there are a lot of terrible tattoos out there.In a spotless treatment room beside a £6,500 tattoo-removing PicoSure laser machine, senior practitioner Cherry Brierly is recounting her clients’ stories. “I had one lovely guy,” she says brightly. “He had a tattoo on his head. He was in his 60s, newly divorced. He came in and said: ‘It’s not me any more. I need to find a new wife.’” The tattoo said: “Made in London”. It disappeared in a single session. Continue reading...

Britain’s spy chief has thanked China’s state news agency for 'free publicity' after it posted a James Bond spoof that mocked the western intelligence community’s growing focus on threats posed by Beijing. The rare response by the head of MI6, Richard Moore, on Thursday comes as China and Britain clash over Beijing’s treatment of its Uyghur minority and creeping authoritarianism in the former British colony of Hong Kong Continue reading...

Military personnel must wear face coverings off base after virus surges among civilians in Japan

The reason why so many of us are at the end of our rope? We allowed work to be what gave our lives meaningThe rich are irrational when it comes to work. Out of everyone in our society, they have the least need to earn more money, but they work the most.Billionaire tech-industry titans brag about their hundred-hour work weeks, even though their labor isn’t what boosts their companies’ stock prices and enriches them further. Americans with advanced degrees have the highest average earning power, but typically work more and spend less time on leisure than people with less formal education. The children of rich parents are twice as likely to have summer jobs as poor kids are. And many older American professionals with plenty saved for retirement keep showing up at the office. Continue reading...

Karen Andrews, home affairs minister, did give a hint of how things might play out.AAP reports that, before Novak Djokovic’s arrival, she said that while the Victorian government and Tennis Australia may allow a non-vaccinated player to compete in the Australian Open, it was the federal government that dealt with border entry requirements. Continue reading...

Moscow-led ‘peacekeeping’ alliance enters country amid violent clashes between protesters, police and armyRussian paratroopers have arrived in Kazakhstan as part of a “peacekeeping” mission by a Moscow-led military alliance to help the president regain control of the country, according to Russian news agencies.Kazakhstan’s president, Kassym-Jomart Tokayev, asked for the intervention from the Collective Security Treaty Organization (CSTO) – an alliance made up of Russia, Armenia, Belarus, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan – late on Wednesday and it was swiftly approved. Continue reading...

Census uncovers personal impact of economic turmoil, housing crisis and Spanish flu pandemicAn intimate and unique snapshot of a nation reeling from the aftermath of the first world war was made available to the public on Thursday as the National Archives’ 1921 Census of England and Wales went online.The unprecedented glimpse into life 100 years ago reveals the very personal impact of the economic turmoil, housing crisis and major social changes caused by the war and the Spanish flu pandemic, capturing the desperation, anger and sadness of the 38 million individuals who filled in the form. Continue reading...

The Oscar-winning director’s new documentary explores warmth, joy and anger through the eyes of a farmyard animal. She reveals what it taught her about lifeAndrea Arnold’s films are known for their spare dialogue, and in her first documentary it is more pared-backed than ever: Cow consists of 94 minutes of moos, with the odd off-camera interjection from farmhands. It is hardly a thriller (though the ending is pure Tarantino). But it is one of the most beautifully crafted and tender portraits of a life you are likely to see.Arnold, who started her professional life as a rollerskating TV presenter on the children’s Saturday show No 73, began thinking about documenting an animal’s life nine years ago. Eventually she settled on a cow. “I thought a cow would be interesting because they work so hard, getting pregnant and giving milk their entire lives. It’s a huge job they do.” She chose Luma because she was told she had a big personality and was feisty. Arnold and her team spent four years, on and off, filming her. Why did she make Cow? “I wanted to show a non-human consciousness. I was intrigued as to whether we would be able to see her consciousness if we followed her long enough.” Continue reading...

Unjabbed supporters of President Bolsonaro are banned from some pubs – but elsewhere fans can buy pizza named after himJana Santos has an unambiguous message for Jair Bolsonaro-supporting anti-vaxxers who want to sup a Moscow Mule or Caipirinha at her bar in south Brazil.“Don’t come. We don’t want you here,” said the mixologist and bar owner who recently placed a placard at its entrance instructing unvaccinated Bolsonaristas to steer clear. Continue reading...

The fast, hip-shaking dance of Tahiti is taking off around the world, with thousands of women taking classes and competingWearing intricate costumes made of plants and adorned with tropical flowers, the women look spectacular. While their torsos remain completely still, somehow, impossibly, their hips are moving in circles so fast it’s almost a blur.These women are performing traditional Tahitian dance, or Ori Tahiti, in Tahiti’s annual cultural festival, the Heiva. And they’re not alone. Thousands of women across the globe, from Mexico to Japan, are doing it too. Continue reading...

Filippo Bernardini is accused of impersonating publishing figures to steal manuscripts, in scam that has stumped authors and editors for yearsA mysterious fraudster who impersonated publishers and agents to steal book manuscripts in an international phishing scam may have finally been caught, with the FBI arresting a 29-year-old man at John F Kennedy airport in New York on Wednesday.Filippo Bernardini, an Italian citizen who worked at UK publisher Simon & Schuster, was arrested upon landing in the US on Wednesday. The FBI alleged that Bernardini had “impersonated, defrauded, and attempted to defraud, hundreds of individuals” to obtain unpublished and draft works. Continue reading...

Former Soviet states respond to pleas from Kazakh president Kassym-Jomart Tokayev as he tries to regain control“Peacekeeping forces” from a Russia-led military alliance will be sent to Kazakhstan to help the country’s president regain control, it was announced on Wednesday night, as violent clashes continued after fuel price rises triggered widespread protests.Armenia’s prime minister Nikol Pashinyan said the Collective Security Treaty Organization (CSTO) – an alliance of Russia, Belarus, Armenia, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, and Tajikistan – would dispatch forces to “stabilise” the Central Asian country. Continue reading...

Student last seen before Christmas leaving nightclub near Charing Cross stationPolice searching for missing 20-year-old Harvey Parker have recovered a body from the River Thames believed to be the student.The Metropolitan police was alerted to reports of a body in the Thames near Embankment, central London, by the Royal National Lifeboat Institution at 11.51am on Tuesday. Continue reading...

Helpline staffed by volunteers advising those still hesitant about getting jabbed against coronavirus

William Campbell, 26, stabbed younger brother in chest in front of their mother in garden of Sunderland homeA man who killed his younger brother with a kitchen knife after a trivial, drunken row has been told he must serve at least 21 years in jail.A court heard that William Campbell, 26, had been binge drinking vodka in the pub for more than five hours on the evening of 17 June last year. His brother Samuel, 24, had drunk at least a bottle of Jim Beam bourbon and was listening to music in the back garden of the family home in Silksworth, Sunderland. Continue reading...

Diversity and ethics scandals leave the ceremony without a network broadcaster, or famous faces to broadcast, after a film industry boycottThe annual Golden Globes ceremony has been unable to find a broadcasting partner or any celebrities willing to present or collect its awards after a Hollywood boycott over its diversity and ethics scandal, resulting in a pared-down event with the emphasis on philanthropy.According to Variety, the Globes’ talent bookers have failed to persuade any big Hollywood figures to attend the 2022 edition of the awards ceremony, a hitherto glittering annual event that traditionally kicked off the lucrative awards season. In March 2021 more than 100 public relations firms announced they would withdraw cooperation with the Globes, a series of high-profile Hollywood figures, including Tom Cruise and Scarlett Johansson, made stinging public criticisms, and TV network NBC cancelled its broadcast of the 2022 edition. Continue reading...

Defence secretary under Tony Blair claims he was told to burn legal advice written by attorney generalTony Blair’s former defence secretary Geoff Hoon has claimed he was told to burn a memo from the attorney general that cast doubt on the legality of the Iraq war.In revelations that critics say cast further doubt on the decision to award the former prime minister a knighthood, Hoon recalled in extracts from his recently published memoir that Blair’s chief of staff had instructed him to burn the document. Continue reading...

PM announces concession card holders can get free RATs, but other Australians will have to pay; Victoria cancels most elective surgery; PM says Novak Djokovic must provide evidence to support vaccine exemption. Follow all the day’s news

Glade of Light consists of a white marble ‘halo’ bearing the names of those killed in May 2017 bombingA memorial to the 22 people murdered in the Manchester Arena terror attack will officially open to the public from Wednesday.The Glade of Light memorial is a white marble “halo” bearing the names of those killed in the May 2017 attack. Continue reading...

Reports emerge of fatal hospital delays and food shortages as more than 14 million people are confined to their homes in the cities of Xi’an and Yuzhou

Protests have broken out in several Kazakh towns and cities after the central Asian nation's government lifted price caps on liquefied petroleum gas (LPG) and the cost of the popular alternative to petrol soared. The government resigned on Wednesday, hours after the president declared a state of emergency in large parts of the country in response to the rare outbreak of unrest. President Kassym-Jomart Tokayev has appointed Alikhan Smailov as acting prime minister.

Paediatrician Dr Laila Ibrahim from the Royal Children's Hospital, Melbourne, has urged parents to get their children vaccinated after sharing her experiences treating children with Covid-19. ‘Most of us hope that if our kids get Covid they will get a runny nose’, she said. ‘But there will be some, quite a significant proportion, who will have high fevers, vomiting and diarrhoea for several days’. Dr Ibrahim said that it’s much better to prevent getting Covid-19 through vaccination than to be 'treating children when they’re very unwell’. Victoria recorded 17,636 new positive cases with 591 people in hospital► Subscribe to Guardian Australia on YouTube

Regime conducts first such launch of the year, with South Korea’s military saying the missile appears to have landed in the seaNorth Korea fired a suspected ballistic missile early on Wednesday, the first such test by Pyongyang of the new year, drawing condemnation from Japan and calls for talks from South Korea.The South Korean Joint Chiefs of Staff (JCS) and the Japanese coast guard said the projectile “appears” to be a ballistic missile, with South Korea saying it landed in the East Sea. Continue reading...

Bangladesh praised for taking in nearly a million Rohingya refugees, but destruction of shops that serve communities has attracted criticismBangladesh authorities have bulldozed more than 3,000 Rohingya-run shops since last month, a government official confirmed on Tuesday, as struggling refugee families voiced their dismay at the demolitions.About 850,000 members of the stateless Muslim minority are packed into overcrowded displacement camps in Bangladesh, most having fled neighbouring Myanmar after a 2017 military clampdown that prompted an international genocide investigation. Continue reading...

Academics gather online to explore the philosophical underpinnings of a movie about a baby who is also a bossIn the middle of a question and answer session at an academic symposium, an audience member wearing a Boss Baby shirt showed off the Boss Baby lunchbox he takes to work every day.“Obviously I eat cookies for lunch,” he explained, “because that’s what Boss Baby fans do.” Continue reading...

Half of total to be offered in compensation to 200,000 individuals and families who suffered from discriminatory systemA C$40bn agreement-in-principle has been reached in Canada to reform the child welfare system for First Nations people and compensate more than 200,000 individuals and families who suffered because of it.At the heart of the deal is a legacy of discrimination in child welfare systems that saw many children removed from their homes and placed in state care, and others who were denied adequate medical care and social services because of their Indigenous identity. Continue reading...

Chief medical officer says people should isolate until testing negative, contradicting official guidance

French racing driver Philippe Boutron was seriously injured in blast in Saudi city of JeddahFrench prosecutors have opened a terrorism investigation after a car participating in the Dakar rally was hit by an explosion in Saudi Arabia last week that badly wounded its driver.After the 30 December attack in the city of Jeddah, the driver, Philippe Boutron, underwent surgery in Saudi Arabia for serious leg injuries before returning to France. Continue reading...

Lawyers make case for why the 2009 settlement might cover the royal and why it might not

Alexander Tekle was second of four Eritrean asylum seekers to kill themselves within 16-month periodAn Eritrean asylum seeker who killed himself shortly after his 18th birthday was worried about his application to remain in the UK and was traumatised by the recent suicide of a close friend, another Eritrean asylum seeker, an inquest has heard.The examination of the circumstances leading to the death of Alexander Tekle is the fourth inquest to be heard into the suicides of four Eritreans within a 16-month period. Collectively, the inquests have put a spotlight on how young, unaccompanied asylum seekers are looked after by local authorities on arrival in the UK.In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org or jo@samaritans.ie. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org. Continue reading...

NHS under pressure as growth rate in hospitalisations more than doubles compared with London

John Sillett allegedly abused victim over a seven-year period, starting when she was aged between 12 and 13A former Olympic showjumping coach raped and sexually abused a teenage girl over a seven-year period, a court has heard.John Sillett, 55, faces three charges of rape, four counts of assault by penetration and two sexual assaults. The alleged assaults against the same girl started when she was aged between 12 and 13, Winchester crown court was told by a prosecutor. Continue reading...

Dog kept man warm and safe until rescuers found himA dog saved a hiker injured in the Croatian mountains by lying on top of him for 13 hours until they were rescued, according to local media.The dog, called North, kept Grga Brkic warm after he fell while out hiking and was unable to move. The other two hikers with him were unable to reach them, so they raised the alarm. Continue reading...

In closing speeches, defence for four accused of damaging slave trader memorial say judgement will reverberate around worldA jury has been urged to “be on the right side of history” by acquitting four defendants accused of criminal damage over the toppling of the statue of the slave trader Edward Colston.In closing speeches at Bristol crown court on Tuesday, barristers for the accused argued that the statue, which stood over the multicultural south-west city for 125 years, was so indecent and potentially abusive that it constituted a crime. Continue reading...

Government accused of failing those at risk of falling back into traffickers’ hands in home countriesOnly 7% of confirmed victims of trafficking from overseas have been granted leave to remain in the last five years according to new data disclosed to the Guardian.A Home Office data shows that 447 out of 6,066 confirmed trafficking victims who requested leave to remain between April 2016 and June 2021 were granted it – 7%. Continue reading...

Eurostat report puts UK third for robbery but 2021 data show most crimes plummeting across regionSpain and Belgium have almost treble Europe’s average number of robberies, topping its robbery league, according to a Eurostat report.The figures, compiled from 2016-2019, before the pandemic, show robberies fell in Europe by 11% over the period, with an average of approximately 55 for every 100,000 people. Continue reading...

Suspected remanded in custody to appear at Old Bailey over death of Ionut Elvis Tacu in HillingdonA 16-year-old boy has appeared in court charged with the murder of another boy who was London’s record 30th teenage homicide victim last year.The victim, named by police as Ionut Elvis Tacu, died of stab wounds following the attack at Philpot’s Farm open space, close to Heather Lane in Yiewsley, Hillingdon, west London, shortly after 7.30pm on Thursday. Continue reading...

Rocco Ritchie, 21, has been selling his paintings for up to five figures under the mysterious pseudonym RhedHe is a mysterious, up-and-coming artist whose work has been championed by the likes of Madonna and sells for up to five figures.But there were raised eyebrows when it was revealed that “Rhed” was none other than the singer’s eldest son, Rocco Ritchie. Continue reading...

Júlio Lancellotti is an outspoken champion of homeless people – a cause that makes him unpopular with Brazil’s authoritiesIn 2017, most Brazilians were still unfamiliar with the name Jair Bolsonaro. But for Júlio Lancellotti, there was already cause for concern in the reactionary rhetoric of the man who would be elected president two years later under the slogan: “Brazil above everything, God above everyone.”“I am astonished that a homophobic person like Bolsonaro appears on the presidential ballot,” said the priest during mass on 7 March of that year at St Michael the Archangel parish in São Paulo’s East Zone. The sermon, in which he also preached against rape culture and sexism, was typical of the man who has devoted his life to fighting injustice, often finding himself targeted by conservative politicians as a result. Continue reading...

International travel restrictions set to be lifted amid rise in domestic transmission

The near-mint condition copy of the first Hulk story, in which the hero is depicted as grey not green, is the most expensive ever soldA 60-year-old comic featuring the Incredible Hulk – in which the superhero is depicted in his original grey, rather than his signature green – has been sold for almost half a million dollars.The rare copy of Incredible Hulk #1, which was published in 1962, was bought by a private collector for $490,000 (£360,000). Comic Connect, an auction site which handled the sale, said it was the most expensive copy of the first Hulk story ever sold. Continue reading...

Volunteers urge people to check forecasts and equipment after a record-breaking year for call-outsMountain rescue has urged day trippers to the Lake District to properly plan their walks after an “absolutely chaotic” Christmas period and warnings of blizzards on the way.The rescue group said there were 11 call-outs during Christmas week, including one that involved 75 people looking for a man and his 11-year-old son on Scafell Pike. Continue reading...

Women say website aims to punish journalists, academics and artists drawing attention to hate speechPolice in India have detained a woman accused of organising a fake online auction in which hundreds of prominent female Muslims were put up “for sale” on a website.There were shock waves of anger and disgust in India after it emerged that a website calling itself Bulli Bai, an offensive term for Muslims, had set up a pretend auction of more than 100 Muslim women, including journalists, academics, activists, scholars and artists, where they were to be “sold” as servants for negligible sums. Continue reading...

Government spokesman condemns MPs who voted to suspend debate on introduction of tougher measures

Sverre Breivik took a lead in Angels in America while crafting masterfully melodramatic music, and this omnivorous new talent is now set on creating the perfect gigWhen Norwegian pop star Metteson was 18, he had an experience at a festival that made him understand the visceral impact music can have. While Emeli Sandé was performing Heaven, he kissed the boy he’d had a crush on for ages.“I wasn’t on drugs but I was as high as I’ve ever been and I had what was sort of my first sexual experience,” he says. “But the day after, I got brutally dumped when he told me that he was in love with someone else. The picture of the night before exploded and cracked.” Continue reading...

The Observer’s pop critic joined a kayaking club thinking she’d be able to glide along with moorhens, but soon found herself practising sprints and turns for her racing debutFor as long as I have run, I have hoofed unathletically alongside canals and rivers – I come out in hives if I breathe too hard near roads. And for as long as I have been a towpath user, I have looked enviously at the people in canoes and kayaks, slicing through the water, eye level with the moorhens.One day, I might give kayaking a go, I thought, vaguely. Sit-on-top kayaks always made for a far better day at the beach on holiday. Rowing itself never seemed remotely attractive – too much ruling class baggage, too much shouting. But in a kayak, I thought, you might wander pacifically about in nature, maybe spot some riverbank wildlife you don’t normally see and, almost as an afterthought, perhaps build a little upper body strength. Continue reading...

Move to tackle staff shortages would include health workers, teachers and critical infrastructure workers