PLAINS, GA-Opening his eyes to find an empty room eerily devoid of any sounds, former President Jimmy Carter reportedly awoke Friday to learn that he had seemingly outlived every single person in America. Hello? Is anybody there? Can anyone hear me?" said the 99-year-old in a shouted plea, stumbling through the halls of an abandoned [...]The post Jimmy Carter Awakens To Learn He Outlived Every Single Person In America appeared first on The Onion.