OLAND, SWEDEN-Assuring her children that she really meant it this time, Mother Earth reportedly insisted Friday that she didn't want any pagan sacrifices this autumn equinox. I know you think this is just me being self-effacing, but I genuinely don't want you to make a big thing of slitting the throat of a fatted calf [...]The post Mother Earth Insists She Doesn't Want Any Pagan Sacrifices This Equinox appeared first on The Onion.