GLENDALE, CA-Rotating the tortilla-wrapped meal to consume the Mexican food in even levels, eyewitnesses reported Thursday that every movement in local man Eddy Azarian's burrito-eating technique has been informed by past burrito tragedies. You can see how he massages the outside to get an a well-balanced distribution of ingredients as he goes, so you know [...]The post Every Movement In Man's Burrito-Eating Technique Informed By Past Burrito Tragedies appeared first on The Onion.