EDEN PRAIRIE, MN-Causing light bulbs to shatter and plaster to rain down from the ceiling of the quaking room, pale teenage psychic Derek Timmons reportedly collapsed with a nosebleed Friday after trying to jerk himself off with the power of his mind. I...I thought I was strong enough to harness my psychokinesis to beat my [...]The post Pale Teenage Psychic Collapses With Nosebleed After Trying To Jerk Self Off With Power Of Mind appeared first on The Onion.