NEW YORK-Instinctively lowering themselves into a defensive crouch while awaiting the return of the eerily absent audio cue, Manhattan residents reportedly remained on alert Thursday after a sunrise unaccompanied by languid clarinet music. Every day, as long as I can remember, I would roll out of bed to a soulful clarinet solo scoring the sun's [...]The post Manhattan On Alert Following Sunrise Unaccompanied By Languid Clarinet Music appeared first on The Onion.