ATLANTA-Claiming that the experience could provide as much satisfaction as unsafe sex, a new report released by the Centers for Disease Control this week recommends Americans eat a nice, shiny apple instead of having unprotected intercourse. What we are finding is that the risks associated with irresponsible sexual acts far exceed those of chomping on [...]The post CDC Recommends Eating A Nice Crisp Shiny Apple Instead Of Having Unprotected Sex appeared first on The Onion.