WASHINGTON-In an ambitious new effort targeting undocumented immigrants, theDepartment of Homeland Securityannounced this week that it wouldbegin offeringa $1,000 stipend to migrants who voluntarily self-destruct. If you are here illegally, the easiest, most cost-effective way to avoid arrest is by downloading the Customs and Border Patrol app, pressing the red button, and-after the the 10-second [...]The post DHSOffers$1,000 Stipend To Migrants Who Voluntarily Self-Destruct appeared first on The Onion.