ARLINGTON, VA-The U.S. Defense Department confirmed Monday that Starbucks had been awarded a $5 billion contract to explore potential national security applications of cold foam, part of the military's ongoing effort to modernize its lactose-based defense capabilities. According to officials, the Seattle-based company will oversee the prototype of a tactical frothed milk topping for use [...]The post Starbucks Awarded $5 Billion Contract To Explore Military Applications Of Cold Foam appeared first on The Onion.