DENVER-Acknowledging the grim reality of their underwhelming romantic prospects, chronic disorganization, and lackluster employment outlook, the adult Patterson children confirmed Friday that the onus of giving their parents grandchildren had been placed on the least fucked-up sibling. At least Liz has a job and lives in her own apartment," said oldest sibling Matthew Patterson, adding [...]The post Onus Of Giving Parents Grandchildren Placed On Least Fucked-Up Sibling appeared first on The Onion.