The Register

Is it a nerd? Is it a control plane? No, it's... SuperSSD Israeli NVMe/TCP pioneer Lightbits finally showed up to the all-flash array market today with an Ethernet-attached SSD appliance – the imaginatively named SuperSSD.…

NASA schedules walloped, Cynus launches, and Owen Garriott's final voyage Roundup It has been an eventful past seven days in space what with SpaceX making a big cloud o' orange smoke, Cygnus docking, and veteran astronaut Owen Garriott taking his final journey into the black.…

Ministers can't tell Ofcom to ignore the law after all UK comms regulator Ofcom can't be ordered to ignore its legal duties, the High Court has ruled, paving the way for GSM gateway operators to claim compensation after Home Office ministers and mandarins destroyed their businesses.…

The 'E' is for 'Ersatz' US network operators Sprint and AT&T remain coy about the details of a 5G ceasefire they have just agreed.…

Residents' scheme flags up scourge of lazy dog owners Is there anything more triumphantly British than fields strewn with dog toffee? Well, there is now: fields strewn with dog toffee with Union Jacks proudly planted in them.…

iPhone maker set to feed competitor even more dollars over the next five years Apple has been identified as one of the largest customers of Amazon Web Services, splashing tens of millions of dollars each month on public cloud infrastructure supplied by its rival.…

Plus: Windows 10 May 2019 Update on MSDN, Surface Hub 2S has a trolley Roundup Last week was all about Windows as Surface Hub 2 crept closer to availability and Windows 10 arrived on MSDN. But the Easter Bunny didn't deliver Sets this year.…

Giffgaff tops satisfaction ratings, Vodafone brings up the rear Updated Cheapo MVNOs have again scored far higher than the UK's big four mobile networks in Which? magazine's customer satisfaction ratings.…

3 variants become 2 with lower latency and just the one format Updated Micron has replaced its U.2 and AIC-format 9200 SSDs with an U.2-only 9300 line, beefing up capacities from 11TB to up to 15.36TB.…

One-day event promises to cover all angles Promo Whether you are an experienced techie or a newbie still mulling over the prospect of venturing onto the cloud, there will be plenty to sink your teeth into at the Amazon Web Services Summit taking place on 8 May at London’s ExCel.…

Platinum-class MRAM exchange bias is the key Taiwanese spintronics boffins have made an important finding in magnetic random access memory (MRAM) tech: a faster way to switch MRAM states by using a nanometre scale layer of platinum.…

...and here's a quick summary of what's been going down in infosec land Roundup Welcome back, Brits, from your Easter break – assuming you weren't working or on-call over the four-day weekend.…

Help! Help! We're being held prisoner in a software factory! A protest by tech employees in China over the expectation of 72-hour work weeks has this week attracted the support of 30 workers from Microsoft and its GitHub subsidiary.…

Uncle Sam wants to run fliers' fizogs through photo databases by 2023 Water cooler Hey El Reg, help me out with this. I saw someone on Twitter complaining that she had to have her face scanned by US airline JetBlue before flying overseas from America. Why would they be doing this?…

Good bye to Nvidia, hello to the Samsung-fabbed FSD Tesla claims to have built a "fully self driving" (FSD) system using custom-designed math processors, allowing its vehicles to potentially drive themselves completely autonomously.…

Mastermind of armed snatch that went rather wrong is found guilty, awaits sentencing A 26-year-old internet entrepreneur faces up to 20 years behind bars in America, and a potential $250,000 fine, after attempt to steal a really not-very-good domain name.…

Plus: Employee diversity, harassment brouhahas within Microsoft, Google Special report Three of the five people axed from JavaScript package management biz NPM Inc last month claim bosses got rid of them for trying to form a union.…

You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run Samsung has confirmed that its dual-screen Galaxy Fold handset, which was due to go on sale for $1,980 apiece this week in the US, has been delayed due to the touchscreen easily breaking.…

Sh*t! Sh*t sh*t sh*t Who, Me? Welcome once more to Who, Me? where readers share their panic-inducing moments of tech support cock-ups.…

'I regret these actions and accept full responsibility for my mistakes' Marcus Hutchins, the British security researcher who shot to fame after successfully halting the Wannacry ransomware epidemic, has pleaded guilty to crafting online bank-account-raiding malware.…

Boffins from Belgium break people recognition software with a colorful placard A trio of Belgium-based boffins have created a ward that renders wearers unrecognizable to software trained to detect people.…

Researcher disturbed at availability of very personal data More than two years of billing records from a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center were made freely available on the internet, a security researcher has discovered.…

Rideshare company lied about market share, claim investors Rideshare company Lyft has been hit with two class action lawsuits by investors who claim the company lied about its market share.…

Oh and remove the guard bands, would you Ofcom? Ofcom is amenable to technical tweaks that mobile operators have requested to 5G rules, launching a consultation yesterday.…

Isssh nothing to be proud of, hic, hic. Shame again pleesh The top ten per cent of Australia’s boozy population downs more than half of the alcohol consumed in the country, according to new research – and the Brits are even worse.…

Are you... Are you sure that we make this machine, sir? On Call Roll up, roll up, to the best part of your day, nay, your week – On Call, where Reg readers share Eureka moments and gleeful memories in tech support.…

It's not hard, we just need some coding tweaks to make sure Privacy Badger stays sane In an effort to discourage Google from breaking or hobbling content blocking and privacy Chrome Extensions, the Electronic Frontier Foundation on Wednesday presented the Chocolate Factory with a modest wish list [PDF] to guide the company's ongoing API revision.…

Let's go back... way back The last few months have seen a big increase in malware attacks using PDF email attachments, according to security firm SonicWall.…

Trump predicted he was 'fucked' – but he hadn't reckoned on ██████████ Analysis It's 448 pages of which roughly 50 have been blacked out.…

And seemingly uses machine learning to explain why it's kinda not but kinda is IBM Watson Health is tapering off its Drug Discovery program, which uses "AI" software to help companies develop new pharmaceuticals, blaming poor sales.…

Redmond hopes to lure Uncle Sam's spy agencies, military away from Amazon Microsoft has set up two new Azure cloud regions in the US – dubbed Azure Government Secret regions – to store data involving American national security. The services are in private preview, and are pending official government accreditation.…

Now how about we forget these fines, eh, mes amies? Meine Freunde? Mis amigos? Android users across Europe are due a software update from Google today that will ask them to make a choice for the future of their smartphones and gadgets – which browser and search engine do you want to use?…

MBA grad faces hefty fine, jail time after zapping computer, display, equipment mobos A former student at a $32,000-a-year private New York college pleaded guilty this week to destroying 66 computers on its campus.…

Wham, bam, gee thanks, Instagram While journalists and netizens are distracted digesting the redacted 400-plus-page Mueller report, released within the past few hours, today will be a good day for spin doctors to bury bad news.…

Top court, that is – she coped fine with the escalator A Canadian woman fined for failing to hold on to an escalator handrail in 2009 has finally reached the Supreme Court in her search for justice.…

Machine learning chips for everyone and everything Chinese IT leviathan Huawei has launched a range of hardware for machine learning applications based on its own specialised silicon.…

BlackBerry throws lifebelt to marooned users BlackBerry has said it will open up its BBM Enterprise encrypted chat service to all-comers as the consumer version nears death.…

Is manufacturing proving ground for mainstream solutions? Reader Study We're all getting a bit fed up with marketeers who tag pretty much anything they can with "AI-enabled" or "powered by AI". But we also know that AI is more than just pure hype – yes, it's a bandwagon, but it can also be both a fundamental technology shift and a deep operational transformation.…

Industry veteran to teach Jenkins-flinger new tricks CloudBees, DevOps darling and spiritual home of the Jenkins platform, has been on a bit of a spending spree, picking up release orchestration outfit Electric Cloud.…

So that's all OK then Facebook has admitted to harvesting email contacts from 1.5 million people without permission.…

Founder Terry Gou steps down for new life in political limelight The boss of Taiwanese manufacturer Foxconn is stepping down in order to run in upcoming presidential elections in Taiwan.…

Plus: Other market-watcher 'unaware' of firm's hardware sales Autonomy Trial A City analyst was accused of being "seriously unethical" after selectively telling investors in Autonomy to sell their stocks in the firm, London's High Court heard earlier this week.…

Meanwhile, customers complain of complete comms shutdown Updated Customers of web host 1&1 Ionos are complaining of a lack of communication after the company suffered a day-long server outage that pulled some websites offline.…

It's like talking to my children, sighs marketing bigwig Huawei top brass took to the stage in Shenzhen this week to insist that everything was fine and dandy in the company's world, despite the shrieking from US lawmakers.…

New Linux kernel, new build Pull on those flares and perch atop your most precipitous platforms – Canonical has emitted Ubuntu 19.04, aka "Disco Dingo", with its sights set firmly on infrastructure.…

Just weeks to go until Continuous Lifecycle London 2019 opens its doors Events We’ll be opening the doors at Continuous Lifecycle in less than one month, and we really want you to join us to discuss containers, DevOps, Continuous Delivery and much, much more.…

All your URLs are belong to us On Tuesday Google renovated its Accelerated Mobile Pages (AMP) web publishing format, making it more secure with less Chocolate Factory branding – a change certain to be welcomed by publishers committed to AMP.…

Here's that regularized programming you wanted. Bish, bash, er, Bosque Interview Microsoft has introduced a new open source programming language called Bosque that aspires to be simple and easy to understand by embracing algebraic operations and shunning techniques that create complexity.…

Breaking news: Hacks hacked off by Galaxy Fold fail (at least the mobes haven't caught fire) Samsung’s space-age Galaxy Fold smartphones, which you can fold in half to pop in your pocket, are cracking up after just a few days of use.…

You wouldn't download a car – oh actually... The maker of a car-hire smartphone app has temporarily halted its service in Chicago after dozens of its vehicles were stolen.…