The Daily WTF

"My Kindle showed me this for the entire time I read this book. Luckily, page 31 is really exciting!" writes Hans H.

I’m going to open with just one line, just one line from Megan D, before we dig into the story:

If you run a business of any size, you need some sort of resource-management/planning software. Really small businesses use Excel. Medium businesses use Excel. Enterprises use Excel. But in addition to that, the large businesses also pay through the nose for a gigantic ERP system, like Oracle or SAP, that they can wire up to Excel.Small and medium businesses can’t afford an ERP, but they might want to purchase a management package in the niche realm of “SMB software”- small and medium business software. Much like their larger cousins, these SMB tools have… a different idea of code quality.Cassandra’s company had deployed such a product, and with it came a slew of tickets. The performance was bad. There were bugs everywhere. While the company provided support, Cassandra’s IT team was expected to also do some diagnosing.While digging around in one nasty performance problem, Cassandra found that one button in the application would generate and execute this block of SQL code using a SQLCommand object in C#.

Hanna's co-worker implemented a new service, got it deployed, and then left for vacation someplace where there's no phones or Internet. So, of course, Hanna gets a call from one of the operations folks: "That new service your team deployed keeps crashing on startup, but there's nothing in the log."Hanna took it on herself to check into the VB.Net code.

There are a few WTFs in today's story. Let's get the first one out of the way: Jan S downloaded a shell script and ran it as root, without reading it. Now, let's be fair, that's honestly a pretty mild WTF; we've all done something similar, and popular software tools still tell you to install them with a curl … | sh, and then sudo themselves extra permissions in the script.The software being installed in this case is a tool for accessing Bitlocker encrypted drives from Linux. And the real WTF for this one is the install script, which we'll dig into in a moment. This is not, however, some small scale open source project thrown together by hobbyists, but instead released by Initech's "Data Recovery" business. In this case, this is the open source core of a larger data recovery product- if you're willing to muck around with low level commands and configs, you can do it for free, but if you want a vaguely usable UI, get ready to pony up $40.With that in mind, let's take a look at the script. We're going to do this in chunks, because nearly everything is wrong. You might think I'm exaggerating, but here's the first two lines of the script:

"Sure thing Google, I guess I'll change my language to... let's see...Ah, how about English?" writes Peter G.

Aurelia is working on a project where some of the code comes from a client. In this case, it appears that the client has very good reasons for hiring an outside vendor to actually build the application.Imagine you have some Java code which needs to take an array of integers and iterate across them in reverse, to concatenate a string. Oh, and you need to add one to each item as you do this.You might be thinking about some combination of a map/reverseString.join operation, or maybe a for loop with a i-- type decrementer.I’m almost certain you aren’t thinking about this.

There are times where someone writes code which does nothing. There are times where someone writes code which does something, but nothing useful. This is one of those times.Ray H was going through some JS code, and found this “useful” method.

I avoid writing software that needs to send emails. It's just annoying code to build, interfacing with mailservers is shockingly frustrating, and honestly, users don't tend to like the emails that my software tends to send. Once upon a time, it was a system which would tell them it was time to calibrate a scale, and the business requirements were basically "spam them like three times a day the week a scale comes do," which shockingly everyone hated.But Krista inherited some code that sends email. The previous developer was a "senior", but probably could have had a little more supervision and maybe some mentoring on the C# language.One commit added this method, for sending emails:

Tomiko* inherited some web-scraping/indexing code from Dennis. The code started out just scanning candidate profiles for certain keywords, but grew, mutated, and eventually turned into something that also needed to download their CVs.Now, Dennis was, as Tomiko puts it, "an interesting engineer". "Any agreed upon standard, he would aggressively oppose, and this can be seen in this code.""This code" also happens to be in Perl, the "best" language for developers who don't like standards. And, it also happens to be connected to this infrastructure.So let's start with the code, because this is the rare CodeSOD where the code itself isn't the WTF:

"Honest! If I could give you something that had a 'cat' in it, I would!" wrote Gordon P.

Don’t you believe in magic strings and numbers being bad? From the perspective of readability and future maintenance, constants are better. We all know this is true, and we all know that it can sometimes go too far.Douwe Kasemier has a co-worker that has taken that a little too far.For example, they have a Java method with a signature like this:

In the spring of 2020, with very little warning, every school in the United States shut down due to the ongoing global pandemic. Classrooms had to move to virtual meeting software like Zoom, which was never intended to be used as the primary means of educating grade schoolers. The teachers did wonderfully with such little notice, and most kids finished out the year with at least a little more knowledge than they started. This story takes place years before then, when online schooling was seen as an optional add-on and not a necessary backup plan in case of plague.TelEdu provided their take on such a thing in the form of a free third-party add-on for Moodle, a popular e-learning platform. Moodle provides space for teachers to upload recordings and handouts; TelEdu takes it one step further by adding a "virtual classroom" complete with a virtual whiteboard. The catch? You have to pay a subscription fee to use the free module, otherwise it's nonfunctional.Initech decided they were on a tight schedule to implement a virtual classroom feature for their corporate training, so they went ahead and bought the service without testing it. They then scheduled a demonstration to the client, still without testing it. The client's 10-man team all joined to test out the functionality, and it wasn't long before the phone started ringing off the hook with complaints: slowness, 504 errors, blank pages, the whole nine yards.That's where Paul comes in to our story. Paul was tasked with finding what had gone wrong and completing the integration. The most common complaint was that Moodle was being slow, but upon testing it himself, Paul found that only the TelEdu module pages were slow, not the rest of the install. So far so good. The code was open-source, so he went digging through to find out what in view.php was taking so long:

In English, there's much debate over the "Oxford Comma": in a list of items, do you put a comma between the penultimate item and the "and" before the final one? For example: "The conference featured bad programmers, Remy and TheDailyWTF readers" versus "The conference featured bad programmers, Remy, and the TheDailyWTF readers."I'd like to introduce a subtly different one: "the concatenator's comma", or if we want to be generic "the concatenator's seperator character", but that doesn't have the same ring to it. If you're planning to list items as a string, you might to something like this pseudocode:

Designers are used to getting vague direction from clients. "It should have more pop!" or "Can you make the blue more blue?" But Kevin was a contractor who worked on embedded software, so he didn't really expect to have to deal with that, even if he did have to deal with colors a fair bit.Kevin was taking over a contract from another developer to build software for a colorimeter, a device to measure color. When companies, like paint companies, care about color, they tend to really care about color, and need to be able to accurately observe a real-world color. Once you start diving deep into color theory, you start having to think about things like observers, and illuminants and tristimulus models and "perceptual color spaces".The operating principle of the device was fairly simple. It had a bright light, of a well known color temperature. It had a brightness sensor. It had a set of colored filter gels that would pass in front of the sensor. Place the colorimeter against an object, and the bright light would reflect off the surface, through each of the filters in turn and record the brightness. With a little computation, you can determine, with a high degree of precision, what color something is.Now, this is a scientific instrument, and that means that the code which runs it, even though it's proprietary, needs to be vetted by scientists. The device needs to be tested against known samples. Deviations need to be corrected for, and then carefully justified. There should be no "magic numbers" in the code that aren't well documented and explained. If, for example, the company gets its filter gels from a new vendor and they filter slightly different frequencies, the commit needs to link to the datasheets for those gels to explain the change. Similarly, if a sensor has a frequency response that means that the samples may be biased, you commit that with a link to the datasheet showing that to be the case.Which is why Kevin was a little surprised by the commit by his predecessor. The message read: "Nathan wants the blue 'more blue'? Fine. the blue is more blue." Nathan was the product owner.The corresponding change was a line which read:

"I'm glad the asdf is vegan. I'm really thinking of going for the asasdfsadf, though. With a name like that, you know it's got to be 2 1/2 times as good for you," writes VJ.

We’ve talked about Java’s streams in the past. It’s hardly a “new” feature at this point, but its blend of “being really useful” and “based on functional programming techniques” and “different than other APIs” means that we still have developers struggling to figure out how to use it.Jeff H has a co-worker, Clarence, who is very “anti-stream”. “It creates too many copies of our objects, so it’s terrible for memory, and it’s so much slower. Don’t use streams unless you absolutely have to!” So in many a code review, Jeff submits some very simple, easy to read, and fast-performing bit of stream code, and Clarence objects. “It’s slow. It wastes memory.”Sometimes, another team member goes to bat for Jeff’s code. Sometimes they don’t. But then, in a recent review, Clarence submitted his own bit of stream code.

Jessica has worked with some cunning developers in the past. To help cope with some of that “cunning”, they’ve recently gone out searching for new developers.Now, there were some problems with their job description and salary offer, specifically, they were asking for developers who do too much and get paid too little. Which is how Jessica started working with Blair. Jessica was hoping to staff up her team with some mid-level or junior developers with a background in web development. Instead, she got Blair, a 13+ year veteran who had just started doing web development in the past six months.Now, veteran or not, there is a code review process, so everything Blair does goes through code review. And that catches some… annoying habits, but every once in awhile, something might sneak through. For example, he thinks static is a code smell, and thus removes the keyword any time he sees it. He’ll rewrite most of the code to work around it, except once the method was called from a cshtml template file, so no one discovered that it didn’t work until someone reported the error.Blair also laments that with all the JavaScript and loosely typed languages, kids these days don’t understand the importance of separation of concerns and putting a barrier between interface and implementation. To prove his point, he submitted his MessageBL class. BL, of course, is to remind you that this class is “business logic”, which is easy to forget because it’s in an assembly called theappname.businesslogic.Within that class, he implemented a bunch of data access methods, and this pair of methods lays out the pattern he followed.

"Memory leaks are impossible in a garbage collected language!" is one of my favorite lies. It feels true, but it isn't. Sure, it's much harder to make them, and they're usually much easier to track down, but you can still create a memory leak. Most times, it's when you create objects, dump them into a data structure, and never empty that data structure. Usually, it's just a matter of finding out what object references are still being held. Usually.A few months ago, I discovered a new variation on that theme. I was working on a C# application that was leaking memory faster than bad waterway engineering in the Imperial Valley.I don't exactly work in the "enterprise" space anymore, though I still interact with corporate IT departments and get to see some serious internal WTFs. This is a chandelier we built for the Allegheny Health Network's Cancer Institute which recently opened in Pittsburgh. It's 15 meters tall, weighs about 450kg, and is broken up into 30 segments, each with hundreds of addressable LEDs in a grid. The software we were writing was built to make them blink pretty.Each of those 30 segments is home to a single-board computer with their GPIO pins wired up to addressable LEDs. Each computer runs a UDP listener, and we blast them with packets containing RGB data, which they dump to the LEDs using a heavily tweaked version of LEDScape.This is our standard approach to most of our lighting installations. We drop a Beaglebone onto a custom circuit board and let it drive the LEDs, then we have a render-box someplace which generates frame data and chops it up into UDP packets. Depending on the environment, we can drive anything from 30-120 frames per second this way (and probably faster, but that's rarely useful).Apologies to the networking folks, but this works very well. Yes, we're blasting many megabytes of raw bitmap data across the network, but we're usually on our own dedicated network segment. We use UDP because, well, we don't care about the data that much. A dropped packet or an out of order packet isn't going to make too large a difference in most cases. We don't care if our destination Beaglebone is up or down, we just blast the packets out onto the network, and they get there reliably enough that the system works.Now, normally, we do this from Python programs on Linux. For this particular installation, though, we have an interactive kiosk which provides details about cancer treatments and patient success stories, and lets the users interact with the chandelier in real time. We wanted to show them a 3D model of the chandelier on the screen, and show them an animation on the UI that was mirrored in the physical object. After considering our options, we decided this was a good case for Unity and C#. After a quick test of doing multitouch interactions, we also decided that we shouldn't deploy to Linux (Unity didn't really have good Linux multitouch support), so we would deploy a Windows kiosk. This meant we were doing most of our development on MacOS, but our final build would be for Windows.Months go by. We worked on the software while building the physical pieces, which meant the actual testbed hardware wasn't available for most of the development cycle. Custom electronics were being refined and physical designs were changing as we iterated to the best possible outcome. This is normal for us, but it meant that we didn't start getting real end-to-end testing until very late in the process.Once we started test-hanging chandelier pieces, we started basic developer testing. You know how it is: you push the run button, you test a feature, you push the stop button. Tweak the code, rinse, repeat. Eventually, though, we had about 2/3rds of the chandelier pieces plugged in, and started deploying to the kiosk computer, running Windows.We left it running, and the next time someone walked by and decided to give the screen a tap… nothing happened. It was hung. Well, that could be anything. We rebooted and checked again, and everything seems fine, until a few minutes later, when it's hung… again. We checked the task manager- which hey, everything is really slow, and sure enough, RAM is full and the computer is so slow because it's constantly thrashing to disk.We're only a few weeks before we actually have to ship this thing, and we've discovered a massive memory leak, and it's such a sudden discovery that it feels like the draining of Lake Agassiz. No problem, though, we go back to our dev machines, fire it up in the profiler, and start looking for the memory leak.Which wasn't there. The memory leak only appeared in the Windows build, and never happened in the Mac or Linux builds. Clearly, there must be some different behavior, and it must be around object lifecycles. When you see a memory leak in a GCed language, you assume you're creating objects that the GC ends up thinking are in use. In the case of Unity, your assumption is that you're handing objects off to the game engine, and not telling it you're done with them. So that's what we checked, but we just couldn't find anything that fit the bill.Well, we needed to create some relatively large arrays to use as framebuffers. Maybe that's where the problem lay? We keep digging through the traces, we added a bunch of profiling code, we spent days trying to dig into this memory leak…… and then it just went away. Our memory leak just became a Heisenbug, our shipping deadline was even closer, and we officially knew less about what was going wrong than when we started. For bonus points, once this kiosk ships, it's not going to be connected to the Internet, so if we need to patch the software, someone is going to have to go onsite. And we aren't going to have a suitable test environment, because we're not exactly going to build two gigantic chandeliers.The folks doing assembly had the whole chandelier built up, hanging in three sections (we don't have any 14m tall ceiling spaces), and all connected to the network for a smoke test. There wasn't any smoke, but they needed to do more work. Someone unplugged a third of the chandelier pieces from the network.And the memory leak came back.We use UDP because we don't care if our packet sends succeed or not. Frame-by-frame, we just want to dump the data on the network and hope for the best. On MacOS and Linux, our software usually uses a sender thread that just, at the end of the day, wraps around calls to the send system call. It's simple, it's dumb, and it works. We ignore errors.In C#, though, we didn't do things exactly the same way. Instead, we used the .NET UdpClient object and its SendAsync method. We assumed that it would do roughly the same thing.We were wrong.

There are many ways to mess up doing unique identifiers. It's a hard problem, and that's why we've sorta agreed on a few distinct ways to do it. First, we can just autonumber. Easy, but it doesn't always scale that well, especially in distributed systems. Second, we can use something like UUIDs: mix a few bits of real data in with a big pile of random data, and you can create a unique ID. Finally, there are some hashing-related options, where the data itself generates its ID.Tiffanie was digging into some weird crashes in a database application, and discovered that their MODULES table couldn't decide which was correct, and opted for two: MODULE_ID, an autonumbered field, and MODULE_UUID, which one would assume, held a UUID. There were also the requsite MODULE_NAME and similar fields. A quick scan of the table looked like:MODULE_IDMODULE_NAMEMODULE_UUIDMODULE_DESC 0 Defects 8461aa9b-ba38-4201-a717-cee257b73af0 Defects 1 Test Plan 06fd18eb-8214-4431-aa66-e11ae2a6c9b3 Test PlanNow, using both UUIDs and autonumbers is a bit suspicious, but there might be a good reason for that (the UUIDs might be used for tracking versions of installed modules, while the ID is the local database-reference for that, so the ID shouldn't change ever, but the UUID might). Still, given that MODULE_NAME and MODULE_DESC both contain exactly the same information in every case, I suspect that this table was designed by the Department of Redunancy Department.Still, that's hardly the worst sin you could commit. What would be really bad would be using the wrong datatype for a column. This is a SQL Server database, and so we can safely expect that the MODULE_ID is numeric, the MODULE_NAME and MODULE_DESC must be text, and clearly the MODULE_UUID field should be the UNIQUEIDENTIFIER type, right?Well, let's look at one more row from this table:MODULE_IDMODULE_NAMEMODULE_UUIDMODULE_DESC 11 Releases Releases does not have a UUID ReleasesOh, well. I think I have a hunch what was causing the problems. Sure enough, the program was expecting the UUID field to contain UUIDs, and was failing when a field contained something that couldn't be converted into a UUID. [Advertisement] Utilize BuildMaster to release your software with confidence, at the pace your business demands. Download today!

"Saw this at a German gas station along the highway. The reboot screen at the pedestal just kept animating the hourglass," writes Robin G.

Submitter “NotAThingThatHappens” stumbled across a “unique” way to check for nulls in C#.Now, there are already a few perfectly good ways to check for nulls. variable is null, for example, or use nullable types specifically. But “NotAThingThatHappens” found approach:

“Comments are important,” is one of those good rules that often gets misapplied. No one wants to see a method called addOneToSet and a comment that tells us Adds one item to the set.Still, a lot of our IDEs and other tooling encourage these kinds of comments. You drop a /// or /* before a method or member, and you get an autostubbed out comment that gives you a passable, if useless, comment.Scott Curtis thinks that is where this particular comment originated, but over time it decayed into incoherent nonsense:

Andrea writes to confess some sins, though I'm not sure who the real sinner is. To understand the sins, we have to talk a little bit about C/C++ macros.Andrea was working on some software to control a dot-matrix display from an embedded device. Send an array of bytes to it, and the correct bits on the display light up. Now, if you're building something like this, you want an easy way to "remember" the proper sequences. So you might want to do something like:

After a few transfers across departments at IniTech, Lydia found herself as a senior developer on an internal web team. They built intranet applications which covered everything from home-grown HR tools to home-grown supply chain tools, to home-grown CMSes, to home-grown "we really should have purchased something but the approval process is so onerous and the budgeting is so constrained that it looks cheaper to carry an IT team despite actually being much more expensive".A new feature request came in, and it seemed extremely easy. There was a stored procedure that was normally invoked by a scheduled job. The admin users in one of the applications wanted to be able to invoke it on demand. Now, Lydia might be "senior", but she was new to the team, so she popped over to Desmond's cube to see what he thought."Oh, sure, we can do that, but it'll take about a week.""A week?" Lydia asked. "A week? To add a button that invokes a stored procedure. It doesn't even take any parameters or return any results you'd need to display.""Well, roughly 40 hours of effort, yeah. I can't promise it'd be a calendar week.""I guess, with testing, and approvals, I could see it taking that long," Lydia said."Oh, no, that's just development time," Desmond said. "You're new to the team, so it's time you learned about Ultrabase."Wyatt was the team lead. Lydia had met him briefly during her onboarding with the team, but had mostly been interacting with the other developers on the team. Wyatt, as it turned out, was a Certified Super Genius™, and was so smart that he recognized that most of their applications were, functionally, quite the same. CRUD apps, mostly. So Wyatt had "automated" the process, with his Ultrabase solution.First, there was a configuration database. Every table, every stored procedure, every view or query, needed to be entered into the configuration database. Now, Wyatt, Certified Super Genius™, knew that he couldn't define a simple schema which would cover all the possible cases, so he didn't. He defined a fiendishly complicated schema with opaque and inconsistent validity rules. Once you had entered the data for all of your database objects, hopefully correctly, you could then execute the Data program.The Data program would read through the configuration database, and through the glories of string concatenation generate a C# solution containing the definitions of your data model objects. The Data program itself was very fault tolerant, so fault tolerant that if anything went wrong, it still just output C# code, just not syntactically correct C# code. If the C# code couldn't compile, you needed to go back to the configuration database and figure out what was wrong.Eventually, once you had a theoretically working data model library, you pushed the solution to the build server. That would build and sign the library with a corporate key, and publish it to their official internal software repository. This could take days or weeks to snake its way through all the various approval steps.Once you had the official release of the datamodel, you could fire up the Data Access Layer tool, which would then pull down the signed version in the repository, and using reflection and the config database, the Data Access Layer program would generate a DAL. Assuming everything worked, you would push that to the build server, and then wait for that to wind its way through the plumbing of approvals.Then the Business Logic Layer. Then the "Core" layer. The "UI Adapter Layer". The "Front End" layer.Each layer required the previous layer to be in the corporate repository before you could generate it. Each layer also needed to check the config database. It was trivial to make an error that wouldn't be discovered until you tried to generate the front end layer, and if that happened, you needed to go all the way back to the beginning."Wyatt is working on a 'config validation tool' which he says will avoid some of these errors," Desmond said. "So we've got that to look forward to. Anyway, that's our process. Glad to have you on the team!"Lydia was significantly less glad to be on the team, now that Desmond had given her a clearer picture of how it actually worked. [Advertisement] Keep the plebs out of prod. Restrict NuGet feed privileges with ProGet. Learn more.

"Hey! I like free coffee! Let me just go ahead and...um...hold on a second..." writes Adam R.

Astor works for a company that provides software for research surveys. Someone needed a method to return a single control object from a list of control objects, so they wrote this C# code:

Bruce worked for a small engineering consultant firm providing custom software solutions for companies in the industrial sector. His project for CompanyX involved data consolidation for a new oil well monitoring system. It was a two-phased approach: Phase 1 was to get the raw instrument data into the cloud, and Phase 2 was to aggregate that data into a useful format.Phase 1 was completed successfully. When it came time to write the business logic for aggregating the data, CompanyX politely informed Bruce's team that their new in-house software team would take over from here.Bruce and his team smelled trouble. They did everything they could think of to persuade CompanyX not to go it alone when all the expertise rested on their side. However, CompanyX was confident they could handle the job, parting ways with handshakes and smiles.Although Phase 2 was officially no longer on his plate, Bruce had a suspicion borne from experience that this wasn't the last he'd hear from CompanyX. Sure enough, a month later he received an urgent support request via email from Rick, an electrical engineer.

A charitable description of Java is that it’s a strict language, at least in terms of how it expects you to interact with types and definitions. That strictness can create conflict when you’re interacting with less strict systems, like JSON data.Tessie produces data as a JSON API that wraps around sensing devices which report a numerical value. These sensors, as far as we care for this example, come in two flavors: ones that report a maximum recorded value, and ones which don’t. Something like:

A long time ago, way back in 2009, Bruce W worked for the Mega-Bureaucracy. It was a slog of endless forms, endless meetings, endless projects that just never hit a final ship date. The Mega-Bureaucracy felt that the organization which manages best manages the most, and ensured that there were six tons of management overhead attached to the smallest project.After eight years in that position, Bruce finally left for another division in the same company.But during those eight years, Bruce learned a few things about dealing with the Mega-Bureaucracy. His division was a small division, and while Bruce needed to interface with the Mega-Bureaucracy, he could shield the other developers on his team from it, as much as possible. This let them get embedded into the business unit, working closely with the end users, revising requirements on the fly based on rapid feedback and a quick release cycle. It was, in a word, "Agile", in the most realistic version of the term: focus on delivering value to your users, and build processes which support that. They were a small team, and there were many layers of management above them, which served to blunt and filter some of the mandates of the Mega-Bureaucracy, and that let them stay Agile.Nothing, however, protects against management excess than a track record of success. While they had a reputation for being dangerous heretics: they released to test continuously and releasing to production once a month, they changed requirements as needs changed, meaning what they delivered was almost never what they specced, but it was what their users needed, and worst of all, their software defeated all the key Mega-Bureaucracy metrics. It performed better, it had fewer reported defects, it return-on-investment metrics their software saved the division millions of dollars in operating costs.The Mega-Bureaucracy seethed at these heretics, but the C-level of the company just saw a high functioning team. There was nothing that the Bureaucracy could do to bring them in line--at least until someone opened up a trade magazine, skimmed the buzzwords, and said, "Maybe our processes are too cumbersome. We should do Agile. Company wide, let's lay out an Agile Process."There's a huge difference between the "agile" created by a self-organizing team, that grows based on learning what works best for the team and their users, and the kind of "agile" that's imposed from the corporate overlords.First, you couldn't do Agile without adopting the Agile Process, which in Mega-Bureaucracy-speak meant "we're doing a very specific flavor of scrum". This meant morning standups were mandated. You needed a scrum-master on the team, which would be a resource drawn from the project management office, and well, they'd also pull double duty as the project manager. The word "requirements" was forbidden, you had to write User Stories, and then estimate those User Stories as taking a certain number of hours. Then you could hold your Sprint Planning meeting, where you gathered a bucket of stories that would fit within your next sprint, which would be a 4-week cadence, but that was just the sprint planning cadence. Releases to production would happen only quarterly. Once user stories were written, they were never to be changed, just potentially replaced with a new story, but once a story was added to a sprint, you were expected to implement it, as written. No changes based on user feedback. At the end of the sprint, you'd have a whopping big sprint retrospective, and since this was a new process, instead of letting the team self-evaluate in private and make adjustments, management from all levels of the company would sit in on the retrospectives to be "informed" about the "challenges" in adopting the new process.The resulting changes pleased nearly no one. The developers hated it, the users, especially in Bruce's division, hated it, management hated it. But the Mega-Bureaucracy had won; the dangerous heretics who didn't follow the process now were following the process. They were Agile.That is what motivated Bruce to transfer to a new position.Two years later, he attended an all-IT webcast. The CIO announced that they'd spun up a new pilot development team. This new team would get embedded into the business unit, work closely with the end user, revise requirements on the fly based on rapid feedback and a continuous release cycle. "This is something brand new for our company, and we're excited to see where it goes!" [Advertisement] Otter - Provision your servers automatically without ever needing to log-in to a command prompt. Get started today!

"Why yes, I have always pictured myself as not applicable," Olivia T. wrote.

Even when you’re using TypeScript, you’re still bound by JavaScript’s type system. You’re also stuck with its object system, which means that each object is really just a dict, and there’s no guarantee that any object has any given key at runtime.Madison sends us some TypeScript code that is, perhaps not strictly bad, in and of itself, though it certainly contains some badness. It is more of a symptom. It implies a WTF.

IniTech’s IniTest division makes a number of hardware products, like a protocol analyzer which you can plug into a network and use to monitor data in transport. As you can imagine, it involves a fair bit of software, and it involves a fair bit of hardware. Since it’s a testing and debugging tool, reliability, accuracy, and stability are the watchwords of the day.Which is why the software development process was overseen by Russel. Russel was the “Alpha Geek”, blessed by the C-level to make sure that the software was up to snuff. This lead to some conflict- Russel had a bad habit of shoulder-surfing his fellow developers and telling them what to type- but otherwise worked very well. Foibles aside, Russel was technically competent, knew the problem domain well, and had a clean, precise, and readable coding style which all the other developers tried to imitate.It was that last bit which got Ashleigh’s attention. Because, scattered throughout the entire C# codebase, there are exception handlers which look like this:

Changing the course of a large company is much like steering the Titanic: it's probably too late, it's going to end in tears, and for some reason there's going to be a spirited debate about the bouyancy and stability of the doors.Shena works at Initech, which is already a gigantic, creaking organization on the verge of toppling over. Management recognizes the problems, and knows something must be done. They are not, however, particularly clear about what that something should actually be, so they handed the Project Management Office a budget, told them to bring in some consultants, and do something.The PMO dutifully reviewed the list of trendy buzzwords in management magazines, evaluated their budget, and brought in a team of consultants to "Establish a culture of continuous process improvement" that would "implement Agile processes" and "break down silos" to ensure "high functioning teams that can successfully self-organize to meet institutional objectives on time and on budget" using "the best-in-class tools" to support the transition.Any sort of organizational change is potentially scary, to at least some of the staff. No matter how toxic or dysfunctional an organization is, there's always someone who likes the status quo. There was a fair bit of resistance, but the consultants and PMO were empowered to deal with them, laying off the fortunate, or securing promotions to vaguely-defined make-work jobs for the deeply unlucky.There were a handful of true believers, the sort of people who had landed in their boring corporate gig years before, and had spent their time gently suggesting that things could possibly be better, slightly. They saw the changes as an opportunity, at least until they met the reality of trying to acutally commit to changes in an organization the size of Initech.The real hazard, however, were the members of the Project Management Office who didn't actually care about Initech, their peers, or process change: they cared about securing their own little fiefdom of power. People like Debbie, who before the consultants came, had created a series of "Project Checkpoint Documents". Each project was required to fill out the 8 core documents, before any other work began, and Debbie was the one who reviewed them- which meant projects didn't progress without her say-so. Or Larry, who was a developer before moving into project management, and thus was in charge of the code review processes for the entire company, despite not having written anything in a language newer than COBOL85.Seeing that the organizational changes would threaten their power, people like Debbie or Larry did the only thing they could do: they enthusiastically embraced the changes and labeled themselves the guardians of the revolution. They didn't need to actually do anything good, they didn't need to actually facilitate the changes, they just needed to show enthusiasm and look busy, and generate the appearance that they were absolutely critical to the success of the transition.Debbie, specifically, got herself very involved in driving the adoption of Jira as their ticket tracking tool, instead of the hodge-podge of Microsoft Project, spreadsheets, emails, and home-grown ticketing systems. Since this involved changing the vocubulary they used to talk about projects, it meant Debbie could spend much of her time policing the language used to describe projects. She ran trainings to explain what an "Epic" or a "Story" were, about how to "rightsize stories so you can decompose them into actionable tasks". But everything was in flux, which meant the exact way Initech developers were meant to use Jira kept changing, almost on a daily basis.Which is why Shena eventually received this email from the Project Management Office.

"So...I guess...they want me to spend more?" Angela A. writes.

A common source of bad code is when you have a developer who understands one thing very well, but is forced- either through organizational changes or the tides of history- to adapt to a new tool which they don’t understand. But a possibly more severe problem is modern developers not fully understanding why certain choices may have been made. Today’s code isn’t a WTF, it’s actually very smart.Eric P was digging through some antique Fortran code, just exploring some retrocomputing history, and found a block which needed to check if two values were the same.The normal way to do that in Fortran would be to use the .EQ. operator, e.g.:

Tim Cooper was digging through the code for a trip-planning application. This particular application can plan a trip across multiple modes of transportation, from public transit to private modes, like rentable scooters or bike-shares.This need to discuss private modes of transportation can lead to some… interesting code.

There are still some environments where C may not have easy access to a stdbool header file. That's easy to fix, of course. The basic pattern is to typedef an integer type as a boolean type, and then define some symbols for true and false. It's a pretty standard pattern, three lines of code, and unless you insist that FILE_NOT_FOUND is a boolean value, it's pretty hard to mess up.Julien H was compiling some third-party C code, specifically in Visual Studio 2010, and as it turns out, VS2010 doesn't support C99, and thus doesn't have a stdbool. But, as stated, it's an easy pattern to implement, so the third party library went and implemented it:

"Sure, I know how long the free Standard Shipping will take, but maybe, just maybe, if I choose Economy, my package will have already arrived! Or never," Philip G. writes.

As is fairly typical in our industry, Sebastian found himself working as a sub-contractor to a sub-contractor to a contractor to a big company. In this case, it was IniDrug, a pharmaceutical company.Sebastian was building software that would be used at various steps in the process of manufacturing, which meant he needed to spend a fair bit of time in clean rooms, and on air-gapped networks, to prevent trade secrets from leaking out.Like a lot of large companies, they had very formal document standards. Every document going out needed to have the company logo on it, somewhere. This meant all of the regular employees had the IniDrug logo in their email signatures, e.g.:

The past few weeks, I’ve been writing software for a recording device. This is good, because when I’m frustrated by the bugs I put in the code and I start cursing at it, it’s not venting, it’s testing.There are all sorts of other little things we can do to vent. Imagine, if you will, you find yourself writing an if with an empty body, but an else clause that does work. You’d probably be upset at yourself. You might be stunned. You might be so tired it feels like a good idea at the time. You might be deep in the throes of “just. work. goddammit”. Regardless of the source of that strain, you need to let it out somewhere.Emmanuelle found this is a legacy PHP codebase:

There has been a glut of date-related code in the inbox lately, so it’s always a treat where TRWTF isn’t how they fail to handle dates, and instead, something else. For example, imagine you’re browsing a PHP codebase and see something like:

Steve had been working as a web developer, but his background was in mathematics. Therefore, when a job opened up for internal transfer to the "Statistics" team, he jumped on it and was given the job without too much contest. Once there, he was able to meet the other "statisticians:" a group of well-meaning businessfolk with very little mathematical background who used The Spreadsheet to get their work done.The Spreadsheet was Excel, of course. To enter data, you had to cut and paste columns from various tools into one of the many sheets, letting the complex array of formulas calculate the numbers needed for the quarterly report. Shortly before Steve's transfer, there had apparently been a push to automate some of the processes with SAS, a tool much more suited to this sort of work than a behemoth of an Excel spreadsheet.A colleague named Stu showed Steve the ropes. Stu admitted there was indeed a SAS process that claimed to do the same functions as The Spreadsheet, but nobody was using it because nobody trusted the numbers that came out of it.Never the biggest fan of Excel, Steve decided to throw his weight behind the SAS process. He ran the SAS algorithms multiple times, giving the outputs to Stu to compare against the Excel spreadsheet output. The first three iterations, everything seemed to match exactly. On the fourth, however, Stu told him that one of the outputs was off by 0.2.To some, this was vindication of The Spreadsheet; after all, why would they need some fancy-schmancy SAS process when Excel worked just fine? Steve wasn't so sure. An error in the code might lead to a big discrepancy, but this sounded more like a rounding error than anything else.Steve tracked down the relevant documentation for Excel and SAS, and found that both used 64-bit floating point numbers on the 32-bit Windows machines that the calculations were run on. Given that all the calculations were addition and multiplication with no exponents, the mistake had to be in either the Excel code or the SAS code.Steve stepped through the SAS process, ensuring that the intermediate outputs in SAS matched the accompanying cells in the Excel sheet. When he'd just about given up hope, he found the issue: a ROUND command, right at the end of the chain where it didn't belong.All of the SAS code in the building had been written by a guy named Brian. Even after Steve had taken over writing SAS, people still sought out Brian for updates and queries, despite his having other work to do.Steve had no choice but to do the same. He stopped by Brian's cube, knocking perfunctorily before asking, "Why is there a ROUND command at the end of the SAS?""There isn't. What?" replied Brian, clearly startled out of his thinking trance."No, look, there is," replied Steve, waving a printout. "Why is it there?""Oh. That." Brian shrugged. "Excel was displaying only one decimal place for some godforsaken reason, and they wanted the SAS output to be exactly the same.""I should've known," said Steve, disgustedly. "Stu told me it matched, but it can't have been matching exactly this whole time, not with rounding in there.""Sure, man. Whatever."Sadly, Steve was transferred again before the next quarterly run—this time to a company doing proper statistical analysis, not just calculating a few figures for the quarterly presentation. He instructed Stu how to check to fifteen decimal places, but didn't hold out much hope that SAS would come to replace the Excel sheet.Steve later ran into Stu at a coffee hour. He asked about how the replacement was going."I haven't had time to check the figures from SAS," Stu replied. "I'm too busy with The Spreadsheet as-is." [Advertisement] Utilize BuildMaster to release your software with confidence, at the pace your business demands. Download today!

Alex A. wrote, "Vivaldi only has two words for you when you forget to switch back to your everyday browser for email after testing a website in Edge."