The Register

From AlphaBay to 'Message me, hey!' Underground cybercrime marketplaces are in decline because cybercrooks have begun switching to chat channels to trade illegal goods, according to a new report.…

Second recent case of shit-and-run incident A corporate exec has resigned from his job after being alleged to be the "poo jogger" of Brisbane, after his neighbours set up a a night vision camera to catch the defecator with his pants down.…

Data bloat antidote hopeful pockets $90m in investor cash round Commercial scale-out filesystem startup Qumulo has scored $93m in a D-round of funding, taking the total raised past $233m.…

'There is no one who feels more for TSB customers than me' - CEO TSB's boss Paul Pester admitted that 1,300 people have been defrauded as a result of the bank's botched IT upgrade in April, in a second hearing in front of MPs.…

You see, it all becomes clear when you provide numbers Pure Storage's AIRI FlashBlade is faster than NetApp's A700 all-flash array, according to two AI benchmark runs.…

The web on your wrist... and elsewhere Analysis Features introduced in the latest version of Apple's wearable OS suggest Apple wants to produce more sophisticated small computing devices and avoid getting embroiled a straight fight with fitness trackers.…

London stock markets open an hour late due to a mystery technical fault Traders were given an hour's reprieve this morning from the tedious task of making and losing copious amounts of cash as the FTSE 100 failed to get out of bed following a technical "glitch".…

Calling all Bongs – this won't hurt a bit Millennials are notoriously fearful of handling raw meat – but EE hopes they'll be less wary fondling experimental radio equipment.…

Redmond asks for your help to rename its version of GVFS Microsoft is going to rename the Git Virtual File System to eliminate its clash with GNOMErs.…

Spacecraft gets mission extension to keep on gazing Data from the Juno spacecraft currently orbiting Jupiter has shown the highly unusual nature of lightening on the gas giant, according to two new studies published in Nature on Wednesday.…

Economics boffin says we’re just playing with AI now and the payoff is years away Good news! Automation capable of erasing white collar jobs is coming, but not for a decade or more.…

More affected devices . More damage. And what looks like an escalation in attacks ASUS, D-Link, Huawei, Ubiquiti, UPVEL, and ZTE: these are the vendors newly-named by Cisco's Talos Intelligence as being exploited by the malware scum running the VPNFilter attacks, and the attack's been spotted hitting endpoints behind vulnerable kit.…

Reveals cloud servers have CPU just for security, migration times cut to five months. Maybe Oracle’s launched a cloud migration service it says can “reduce the time and cost of cloud migration by up to 30 percent” and “enables customers with applications running on premises to upgrade to Oracle Cloud Applications in as little as 20 weeks.”…

Anti-SJW National Guard commander, cryptocurrency dev in deep trouble A cryptocurrency developer, occasional infosec researcher, and National Guardsman has been arrested after joyriding an armoured personnel carrier in what some US news sites are calling a “drug-fuelled rampage”.…

Feds finger 19-year-old for failed hacktivism effort A 19-year-old who goes by the handle Vigilance online has been indicted in a Saint Paul, Minnesota district court for allegedly breaking into and interfering with servers operated by the state.…

It's crazy how a little competition can cause that AMD this week promised to ship 32-core Ryzen Threadripper 2 processors in the third quarter of 2018 – one day after Intel bragged about a forthcoming 28-core part.…

Look – there it is. Sorry no time for trick questions Analysis After years of promises, augmented-reality hype-machine Magic Leap finally revealed its hardware… in the most bizarre way imaginable.…

Self-appointed privacy paladin Mozilla points out fatal flaws Amazon on Tuesday stopped selling CloudPets, a network-connected family of toys, in response to security and privacy concerns sounded by browser maker and internet community advocate Mozilla.…

Father of the Internet not impressed with slow rollout Co-inventor of TCP/IP and so-called "Father of the Internet" Vint Cerf has urged network nerds to "get with the program" on World IPv6 Day.…

'All these names were changing faster than I could memorise' SAP’s cofounder has admitted that its branding strategy confused customers and prevented staff from feeling like part of a team.…

Same price as sixty obsolescent flash Apple Watches It's question we've all asked ourselves: what should I do with that spare $600,000?…

And we don't want to pay for it! A study published today by the Pew Research Center has found that a majority of Americans reckon that staying on top of the space pile should be a US priority, with NASA still attracting a lot of love.…

Infosec guru 'surprised' if spooks weren't embedded in top firms BSides London "I would be surprised if all major intel agencies didn't have people embedded in Google, Amazon, Apple, Facebook and major cloud provers," infosec guru Mikko Hyppönen told a packed audience at BSides conference in London on Wednesday.…

We're still the good guys! Our AC is super eco-friendly! Market-leading data slurper Facebook is hoping to save energy and water by using indirect evaporative cooling in its data centres.…

Complains costs were 17% higher cos of where case was heard Rimini Street has urged the US Supreme Court to weigh in on its legal wrangling with Oracle as the costs awarded against it were "at least" 17 per cent higher because the case was heard in a Circuit court.…

Chinese investors welcome chip designs with open Arms SoftBank has announced it is offloading 51 per cent of chip designer Arm's Chinese subsidiary to a China-led group of investors in a deal worth $775.2m.…

Says Retro Computers Limited debt collection is still happening – but where's the money gone? Updated Crowdfunding website Indiegogo has said it will continue its process for calling in debt collectors as another product delivery deadline sailed past for flailing ZX Spectrum reboot firm Retro Computers Ltd.…

Researchers able to nudge ships off course Infosec Europe Years-old security issues mostly stamped out in enterprise technology remain in maritime environments, leaving ships vulnerable to hacking, tracking and worse.…

Data is better, down where it's wetter, under the sea Fish already dodging trawler nets in the North Sea off Orkney found another hazard to contend with this morning: a huge white tube of servers, emblazoned with the Windows logo.…

Financial Conduct Authority to probe bank's migration A city watchdog has launched a stinging attack on TSB chief Paul Pester for portraying "an optimistic view" of its catastrophic IT meltdown in April that prevented 1.9 million customers from using online bank services.…

Not just the vehicle tech but a data marketplace too The British government is offering up £25m for a half dozen industrial projects designed to test self-driving – and self-parking – car technology.…

Anxieties linger for facial and voice recog Brit cops' use of new technologies isn't always organised or systematic, and a lack of governance on biometrics from government leaves a "worrying vacuum", biometrics commissioner Paul Wiles has said.…

It's almost like nobody's heard of Innovate UK A Google-backed think tank report has called on UK.gov to, erm, help the local tech startup scene flourish in a post-Brexit Britain by agreeing to underwrite a newbie business' first customer contract.…

Millions wasted and patient harm 'cannot be ruled out' NHS England is to blame for a backlog of 374,000 items of undelivered clinical correspondence following a move to Capita's Primary Care Services contract, the Public Accounts Committee has concluded today.…

Windows Collaboration Displays entirely 'new device category', says Redmond Microsoft last night dropped the veil on a "new category of teamwork devices" – the not-quite-a-Surface-Hub Windows Collaboration Display (or Whopping Computer Display, judging by the size of it.)…

Water horrible thing to say It's one thing to suspect your work colleagues think you're a bit of an idiot. It is quite another to have it printed and posted to your employer's customers, as an unfortunate chap by the name of Tom Wysocki found.…

They don’t need to travel or fight, so chief of defence staff is happy to relax medical rules The United Kingdom’s military should relax its medical requirements to help it enlist more skilled cyber-operatives.…

'Violent behavior' identified and highlighted by surveillance system destined for a police force near you Video A drone surveillance system capable of highlighting “violent individuals” in a crowd in real time has been built by eggheads.…

Complex tidal forces have drawn out the day Are you tired and grumpy after such a long day? Well, now you know who to blame: The Moon.…

Researchers warn of shady hotspots in host cities The upcoming soccer World Cup will present no shortage of security dangers for travelers looking to get online in the host cities.…

Matt Prince sets a daemon to work with the onions Cloudflare has added a Tor hidden service to its DNS services.…

Details on how to see stuff when providers don't have keys coming soon, promise The Australian government will press ahead with its not-a-backdoor anti-encryption plans and hinted that collaboration with tech companies is its approach to accessing encrypted messages.…

Prices on submarine cables down by 30 per cent in three years International bandwidth prices are in free-fall, with some routes offering 10 Gbps wavelengths for less than US$5,000 per month.…

Supermarket chain warns job-seekers from last 18 months. Bank, telco also worry SaaS HR platform PageUp has revealed “unusual activity on its IT infrastructure” and “revealed that we have some indicators that client data may have been compromised”.…

Actually, it's about ethics in network concurrency Bill Morrow, CEO of the nbn™, the company building Australia's National Broadband Network (NBN), has learned to Fear The Wrath Of Gamers.…

These are not the criminal geniuses you were expecting An IoT botnet has been commandeered by white hats after its controllers used a weak username and password combination for its command-and-control server.…

Astroboffins get precious about heat protection in space While the spaceship name Heart of Gold was taken by the late, great Douglas Adams, NASA has come up with something similar for its forthcoming space telescope.…

ICANN or ICANN'T be trusted? Uncle Sam wants to know The US government has formally asked whether it should reassert its control of the internet's administrative functions, effectively reversing a handover to non-profit organization ICANN two years ago.…

Defected goods hustle brought in big bucks – for a while A pair of married scammers and their fence were sentenced to 71 months, 68 months, and 24 months in prison respectively for defrauding Amazon.com, the US Attorney's Office (USAO) for the Southern District of Indiana said on Monday.…

App-rented tech bro-mobiles play fast and loose with city rules, say officials San Francisco has banned commercial electric scooters, which can be rented via apps, from its streets – after several months of confrontation between the authorities and tech companies.…