The Register

Confidential helpline considered for distressed and lonely churchmen The annual general meeting of Ireland’s Catholic Priests has been told to ease up on attacking their seniors, amidst increasing concerns over the future of the Church in the country.…

Plus outsells regular iPhone for the first time Some ominous news if you like your phones small and unobtrusive. Apple’s “Plus” model has outsold its regular iPhone sibling for the first time. Canalys estimates Apple shipped 5.4 million iPhone 8 units in Q3, but 6.3 million units of the larger iPhone 8 Plus.…

One day, one news release and some coverage... NASA has smacked down reports that it is working with Uber on a flying car, or software for that flying car, or indeed, software for any firm after several announcements from the ride-hailing biz yesterday had the tech press aflame with excitement.…

Coinhive API increasingly pops up in top 3 million websites A total of 2,531 of the top 3 million websites (1 in 1,000) are running the Coinhive miner, according to new stats from analytics firm Red Volcano.…

Fear not, robots, it was a squishy meatsack to blame A self-driving bus has been involved in a collision, barely two hours after being introduced into public service for the first time.…

Project up to eight years with broadband minnow Vodafone has inked a deal for a full-fibre network built by CityFibre, which could connect up to 5 million premises over the next eight years.…

Department eXits Contracts: Biz falls prey to in-sourcing move Exclusive The Department for Work & Pensions has not renewed a pair of contracts it held with Frankenfirm DXC Technologies – a loss the outsourcing business was lamenting in its latest financial results.…

Thanks, initial testing seems unduly problematic Updated Power outages have brought some OVH data servers to their knees, and unspecified issues have broken optical cable routing in Europe for POP.…

Big Blue's mighty machine needs Nutanix software nuggets .NEXT In the hyperconverged infrastructure appliance space, x86 rules. This might appear to exclude IBM, having sold its x86 servers to Lenvo, but you'd be surprised.…

Pushed out by newly acquired Black Duck Black Duck has launched a product that provides automatic detection of known open source vulnerabilities for containers.…

Clive Selley admits BT could have done more to build a fibre network Interview "Look, if you can't get decent broadband, it is a real pisser," said Openreach boss Clive Selley in response to a Devon village's decision to burn an effigy of one of its vans on bonfire night.…

Cloud Foundry project aims to make containers manageable Announcing its updated and renamed Kubernetes and BOSH (Kubo) project as Container Runtime (CFCR) last month, Cloud Foundry said the project would give users greater "choice".…

The SDN industry – ahem – admires Google and will learn from this, to your benefit Google last week announced that it has started using version 2.1 of its Andromeda software-defined networking stack.…

In with 'international and modern' typeface 'Plex', seeya later boring old Helvetica Neue IBM's decided the time is right for a new corporate font.…

Because everything has firmware and it survives reboots. PLUS: Redmond details HPE-killing cloud servers Microsoft's revealed its working with Intel on a “cryptographic microcontroller” to secure its cloud servers and the many firmware-using components within.…

Users see white noise, attackers see whatever they just stole from you It's the kind of thinking you expect from someone who lives in a volcano lair: exfiltrating data from remote screen pixel values.…

Bitdefender integration with Windows Defender APT in preview; Lookout, Ziften soon Windows Defender Advanced Threat Protection first landed as a public preview in September, and now it's general availability, Redmond has announced a bunch of partners to give it cross-platform support: Bitdefender for Linux and macOS, Lookout for iOS and Android, and Ziften for macOS and Linux).…

Wannabe terror teen found guilty, faces sentencing A British teenager who tried to order a car bomb on the dark web and get it delivered to his address has been found guilty this week.…

Creator of OS on the chip calls out Chipzilla for keeping his work secret Positive Technologies, which in September said it has a way to attack the Intel Management Engine, has dropped more details on how its exploit works.…

Shor, we need a new sig scheme An international group of quantum boffins reckons Bitcoin could be broken by the year 2027.…

If nothing goes wrong with biggest rocket ever, which is only a little over budget Vid NASA has reconfirmed it hopes to stage the first flight of its Space Launch System and Orion spacecraft in December 2019, but also conceded such a big build could run late.…

That's a busted flush of a headline Intel will be making its own discrete graphics cards, and it has hired away the head of AMD's GPU unit to lead the effort.…

We've fro-Xen page to preserve evidence of NVMe servers and Xen's stay of execution Amazon Web Services has quietly edited its FAQ in which it revealed it has created a new KVM-based hypervisor and will use it instead of Xen for future instances.…

Boffins baffled by slow burn supernova that glows and dims Astrophysicists have discovered one of the weirdest stars yet in the universe: one that refuses to die, exploding as a supernova multiple times over fifty years.…

Joins Equifax and Verizon execs to explain pitiful security Poor Marissa Mayer. After selling off Yahoo! and floating away on her golden parachute, she must have been looking for a nice rest. But US Congress wanted her to explain how every single user account on the portal got hacked.…

Joins Equifax and Verizon execs to explain pitiful security Poor Marissa Meyer. After selling off Yahoo! and floating away on her golden parachute, she must have been looking for a nice rest. But Congress wanted her to explain how every single user account on the portal got hacked.…

Shut up and take my money! Nose-diving social media company Snap Inc. says it has secured a significant investment from Chinese tech powerhouse Tencent.…

Thought the Snowden leaks would make things better? Joke's on you A draft law protecting one of the US government's spying programs has passed through the initial markup stage in the Congress, providing one more opportunity to witness the "up is down" world in which American politics currently resides.…

Ad-slinger promises to crack down on ads (that it didn't sling) Chrome will begin blocking some redirect links in an effort to crack down on particularly annoying web ads.…

Cryptocurrency hits all-time high, then bounces back down Bitcoin's contentious upgrade plan, known as SegWit2x, has been called off, sending the cryptocurrency price past $7,800 – an all-time high – and then down several hundred dollars as profit taking set it.…

Microsoft, Google keen to use CPUs and push Intel Outside Putting aside its legal battles for a few hours, Qualcomm today said is it shipping the Centriq 2400 – its ARM-based server-grade processor, and the world's first 10nm data-center CPU.…

Techies safe, but you may have to endure a robot co-worker So, robots are coming to take your jobs after all* but techies shouldn't be scared, not in the slightest.…

Plus: Trying to make storage 'cool' in Antartica Data-protector Commvault made several announcements at its annual customer shindig – including a GPDR "package", endpoint data protection as a service, a partnership with the Google Cloud Platform and a bit of Antarctic Expedition do-goodery.…

Whose land is it anyway? HM Land Registry made its databases of property owned by domestic and foreign businesses free to access yesterday.…

On the path to becoming an enterprise hybrid cloud provider and gateway .NEXT Nutanix has a one click, one OS, any cloud concept with new services to virtualise compute and object storage across multiple clouds – both on-premises and public ones.…

Slight glitch in Industrial Revolution 4.0 Troubled Tesla Inc. has quietly acquired Perbix, which designs robot production lines. Perbix was already a Tesla contractor.…

Can we skip the orange of outage, please? We've peeled the storage news fruit, cut off the rough edges, discarded the excess verbiage bits and blended them into a smoothie. Grab a napkin and tuck in, because a lot has happened over the past week.…

Pre-emptive perv to defang revenge pr0nz peddlers Facebook has begun conducting a pilot where it solicits intimate photographs of women – and it will soon offer the service in the United Kingdom. Anxious exes who fear their former partner is set on revenge porn will be urged to upload photographs of themselves nude.…

Data analytics platform sunset in December, but enterprise version spared IBM has announced the retirement of the basic plan for its data analytics software platform, BigInsights for Hadoop.…

Built-in obsolescence, meet kill switch One more reason to avoid The Cloud – as if you didn't have enough already.…

Three's a crowd, and a 'major competitor', says watchdog Carphone Warehouse was given a particularly withering stare by the Advertising Standards Agency in a ruling handed down today concerning one of its radio adverts.…

Just browsing? Don't yuan Opera released an overhaul of its browser today, and claims to have grown its market share substantially in the year since it was acquired by a Chinese private equity company a year ago.…

What has been seen? Comment For the "smartest guys in the room", Google often seems to be the last to know what’s going on in its own front room. And something very strange indeed is going on over at YouTube.…

Blackfish detects stolen logins as they are used by cybercrims A system that aims to identify stolen passwords before breaches are reported or even detected was launched on Tuesday.…

Reg conference shows humans how to stay in driving seat Events The machines are not taking our jobs any time soon, Prof Mark Bishop declared at the opening of MCubed, mainly because right now, computing is better suited to cementing artificial stupidity than creating true artificial intelligence.…

NVMe-accessed filer matrix organ puckers up for HPC smacker HPE is planning to beef up its supercomputing and HPC filer credentials by cuddling up to WekaIO, multiple sources have told The Register.…

Object Matrix and Storage Made Easy succeeded Analysis Two UK storage startups both went without venture capital and struggled to grow. One was Object Matrix, the other Storage Made Easy. Both are consequently outside the storage mainstream and traded VC-funded growth acceleration for being in control of their own destiny.…

It's worse than we feared and the worst may yet be to come What a difference a year makes. This time last year, Twitter pooh-poohed any suggestion that Russian agents ran accounts on its platform for purposes of subverting the US election.…

Memcache was gone in 20 seconds and down for nearly two hours Google's again 'fessed up to cooking its own cloud.…

Jamie Hyneman wants a future in which gaming doesn't mean stumbling into furniture Former Mythbuster Jamie Hyneman is seeking US$50,000 to build a prototype pair of roller skates to wear in virtual reality.…