The Register

Or stop using Internet Explorer 11, of course If Internet Explorer 11 users exist, they may have noticed missing graphics in web apps. Now Microsoft has some free, helpful advice that might restore them: disable your antivirus.…

Show the board some graphs, boards love graphs Every year in living memory I’ve sat in the obligatory “how to complete your annual goals in the HR system” meeting, and each time I’ve been told: make sure you make your objectives “SMART” – Specific, Measurable, Achievable and so on.…

Media and entertainment businesses get free object storage offer Object storage software shipper Caringo is offering free 100TB licences to media and entertainment companies.…

Hitchin man tried to have company-issued laptop taken off store's domain A former Harrods IT worker has pleaded guilty to a charge under the Computer Misuse Act of trying to get a computer repair shop to take his company-issued laptop off the Harrods domain.…

Anonymous trolls censured force's management The Police Service of Northern Ireland reportedly hired a private cybersecurity firm to unmask anonymous Twitter accounts of officers and staff allegedly involved in online racist abuse.…

Lights the afterburners with NVMe flash and Optane drives, plus VM direct storage access Scale Computing has run lab tests showing hyperconverged virtual machine IO performance using NVM express (NVMe), achieving mean IO latencies as low as 20μs delivered to a guest virtual machine.…

Trickbot variant adds Coinbase exchange to monitored sites Researchers have discovered a new variant of banking trojan that targets cryptocurrency wallets instead of traditional accounts.…

Why Google's gift of TensorFlow is not what it seems Machine learning (ML) and artificial intelligence (AI) are extraordinarily hard to pull off in the real world, so of course the solution must be open source. From Google’s TensorFlow to Microsoft’s Cognitive Toolkit, the world is awash in open source ML/AI code... none of which seems to be solving the gaping void between AI hype and production deployment reality. By Gartner’s estimates a mere 15 per cent of organisations actually get into production with ML/AI.…

Hard drive crushed ahead of exhibition opening A hard drive containing the unfinished books of Terry Pratchett has been destroyed by a steamroller, in fulfilment of the late author's last wishes.…

Submits to regulators with a comfy three hours to spare About three hours before the deadline on a 60-day compliance period, Google has submitted its plans for meeting a European Union antitrust order.…

Just toss it on the massive money pile Apple chief exec Tim Cook has been handed $89m (£69m) in shares after exceeding his performance target.…

Norks planning more raids to cover sanction losses, say intel boffins North Korea has emerged as the prime suspect in recent Bitcoin exchange hacks in South Korea, with threat intel experts warning that more attacks on digital currency services and even mainstream banks are likely to follow.…

Ad watchdog: Correct, you're not. *slap* "World leaders in 100 per cent electric since 2010," Nissan boasted about itself in a recent advert. But does that mean the world leader (as in number one) or a world leader (nowhere near number one)? According to Nissan, it's the latter.…

Smelly computers, SDDC, blockchain, all the other buzzwords (and mic noise)

Something may happen soon™ Some details have leaked about the bid consortium negotiating to buy Toshiba's interest in the flash foundry joint-venture it owns with WDC.…

Local ISP claims it's seen ABBA-solutley horrific consultation documents Sweden may be about to adopt increased surveillance of the internet, with new proposals about data retention and network rules leaked to local ISP Bahnhof.…

Ransomeware asked for 50+ Bitcoin, but analysts say files can't be decrypted anyway The ransomware that infected computers at the National Health Service's Lanarkshire outpost, causing an outage that lasted most of the weekend, has been tagged as a ransomware that demanded 53 Bitcoin for files to be decrypted.…

The Doctor will see you now to re-program your St Jude implant It's probably the most crucial patch of the year: Abbott Laboratories' reworked firmware for its St Jude pacemakers has won Food and Drug Administration approval to ship.…

HPC and Big Data types get one too, and you're all getting non-disruptive upgrades soon VMWORLD 2017 VMware's created a special cut of vSphere just for the Chinese market, and another for scale-out applications.…

So long as you stay silent and put it on a sign you're clever and not criminal At a time when far-right websites are being denied domain names, debate about the limits of free speech may never have been more fierce. And now an Australian court has weighed in with a decision that it is okay to call the nation's former Prime Minister Tony Abbott a c*nt.…

Apparently some of you want to cuddle containers VMWORLD 2017 Google, VMware and Pivotal have teamed to let you run Kubernetes in the safety of your own data centre.…

What's a good day look like, wonders new CEO Khosrowshahi Uber's new CEO Dara Khosrowshahi better have his caffeine on a drip, because a brand-new crisis has just landed in his lap: a US investigation into whether managers have breached foreign bribery laws.…

Southern ocean slaughter to continue unchecked The anti-whaling organization Sea Shepherd Global has said it won't be going after the Japanese fleet of cetacean "research vessels" in their annual pilgrimage to the Southern Pacific – because satellite technology has made the job impossible.…

No bid credits for sockpuppets, rules judge A US Court of Appeals has upheld US broadband watchdog the FCC's decision to bar companies connected to satellite provider Dish Network from claiming discounts on their bids in a 2014 wireless spectrum auction.…

Human body 'tries to turn on all possible defense systems' A new study analyzing the blood samples of 18 Russian cosmonauts reveals that space sends the body’s defensive immune system into overdrive.…

The smart home may need to get a whole lot smarter, researchers warn Smart home devices supply much more personal information than you might imagine – even when the data is encrypted – it appears.…

Advisory warns of dodgy digital money scams America's financial regulator has warned investors to steer clear of shady alt-coin investment schemes.…

Computer reseller warns of password, personal info theft Second-hand electronics dealership CeX says two million customers may have had their personal information swiped by hackers.…

First California accident, caused by inconsiderate human The Uber self-driving program has had its first accident in California since regaining permission to experiment on the roads – and for a change, it wasn't Uber's fault.…

That's the announcement everyone's been waiting for, right? Apple has signed up another vendor to help its iPad to the enterprise push – IT consulting and outsourcing specialist Accenture.…

On Earth it requires two diamonds and a ton of pressure Oil and water do mix, a group of scientists have discovered. The two substances normally repel one another, but under extreme conditions oil molecules can dissolve in water.…

Says users are migrating away, criticizes Oracle's roadmap and ends builds and support, effective ASAP MongoDB has killed off its Solaris development efforts. The company's director of platform engineering Andrew Morrow calls the decision “bittersweet,” but says “lack of adoption among our user base” made the decision easy and necessary.…

That's one way for a storage array business to avoid an IPO After dropping $1.4bn to try and buy Toshiba’s stake in the WDC-Toshiba flash foundry joint-venture, WDC has just bought the Tegile storage array business. Oh, and it bought the Upthere cloud consumer storage business for a guesstimated $100m-plus yesterday as well.…

We're all doomed More than a third of national critical infrastructure organisations have not met basic cybersecurity standards issued by the UK government, according to Freedom of Information requests by Corero Network Security.…

Company again reminded of difference between 'we can do this' and 'we should do this' Amid heavy criticism over how it handles user privacy, Uber has agreed to not track riders after their trips end.…

Can someone lend them some direction-finding gear? A mystery New Zealander has been hijacking police radio frequencies to sing verses from Old MacDonald Had A Farm and make oinking noises at the Old Bill.…

Server and storage solutions rise to new data demands Promo Supermicro is launching a comprehensive line of new server and storage solutions featuring the Intel Xeon Scalable processor family released earlier this year. The company claims the X11 generation offers the strongest support for NVMe storage and 25G/100G Ethernet in the industry.…

No button to silence squabbling kids in the back as yet Mazda and Toyota are working together on a Linux-based connected car navigation and entertainment system, according to reports.…

Firm says it'll pay out up to $30k for big holes Bending to public pressure as more and more drone hackers break into their kit, Chinese firm DJI has now announced a bug bounty program.…

Grey screen gets ribbonised One of Microsoft's tools for debugging blue screens of death and other exciting Windows problems will be getting a bit easier to use.…

Gobbles consumer file-hosting startup for undisclosed amount Western Digital Corporation has bought Upthere, a consumer data storage startup with its own public cloud.…

Broadband's out nationwide, say frustrated Twitter folk EE broadband customers have been unable to get online this morning, due to what seems to be a major nationwide outage.…

Researchers able to hijack server and steal card details Point-of-Sale systems from SAP had a vulnerability that allowed them to be hacked using a $25 Raspberry Pi or similar device, according to research unveiled at the Hack in the Box conference in Singapore last week.…

Slowly, slowly, findee source codey Chinese drone company DJI has removed hot-patching frameworks discovered in its apps by hackers – and is beginning to reveal GPL-licensed elements in its code.…

IBM 650 could cobble together fiction long before Watson marketing kicked into gear Next time IBM tries to convince you that Watson is the latest and greatest innovation that couldn't possibly have been done any time other than now, know that Big Blue tried to get a computer writing short stories in the 1960s.…

Army of web scum constantly testing insecure things' well-known default passwords Criminals are constantly attempting to log into digital video recorders by using their default credentials, the SANS Institute has found.…

No, really, it's a refund offer from the FTC and not another scam email… don't delet… The FTC says it has begun the process of refunding $10m it collected from a tech support scam operation.…

Bork bork bork! Hackers infiltrate major hosting provider Loopia A major Swedish web hosting has been compromised and its entire customer database leaked.…

Submersible drones are vulnerable when they surface to recharge, hence the need for wetter-is-better top-up tech Uncrewed underwater vessels are playing a growing role in military operations like surveillance, but they have to either land or surface to recharge their batteries.…