Broadly considered one of the greatest soccer players of all time, Argentina's Lionel Messi set a new record as the top goalscorer in World Cup history. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the eight-time Ballon d'Or winner. Age: 39, minus stoppage time Favorite Charity: Major League Soccer Catchphrase: ..." Net Worth: Can't [...]The post Player Profile: Lionel Messi appeared first on The Onion.