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Paging Mr Heath Robinson A Microsoft Surface Laptop 3 user has solved the premium hardware's heating issues with the aid of elastic bands, a USB fan, and $50 handed over to Amazon.…

Plus: AI Index 2021 report takeaways, Chocolate Factory banished from top ethics conference, and more In brief US government should avoid hastily banning AI-powered autonomous weapons and instead step up its efforts in developing such systems to keep up with foreign enemies, according to the National Security Commission on AI.…

Ten letters, starts with R, ends with E, three syllables The University of the Highlands and Islands (UHI) in Scotland is fending off "an ongoing cyber incident" that has shut down its campuses.…

Metropolitan police hand keys to French outsourcer Capgemini has won a £600m IT infrastructure deal from the UK's Metropolitan Police to run a service desk, data centres, and services management including the integration of other suppliers.…

You're naming yourself wrong? An iCloud customer says she spent more than six hours on the phone to Apple after being locked out of the service because her name is apparently incompatible with the application code.…

Plus: McAfee's in serious trouble over claimed cryptocurrency scam In brief Another form of malware installed in servers backdoored in the SolarWinds' Orion fiasco has been spotted in the wild.…

IT pros from orgs large and small tell The Reg the tech delivered, mostly, but couriers and home Wi-Fi suddenly became your problem Covid Logfile Brianna Haley was given one day to be ready to roll out Zoom for 13,000 users at over 1,000 sites.…

In Space No One Can Hear You Scream (as Windows crashes again) BORK!BORK!BORK! Getting astronauts to the Moon or Mars is the least of NASA's problems. Persuading Microsoft Windows not to fall over along the way is apparently a far greater challenge.…

Time to fix those legacy evils, though.... right? Column It is the monster which corrupts all it touches. It is an energy-sucking vampire that thrives on the pain it promotes. It cannot be killed, but grows afresh as each manifestation outdoes the last in awfulness and horror. It is Microsoft Exchange and its drooling minion, Outlook.…

Leads Works Ltd and Valca Vehicle and Life Cover Agency tried to exploit household finance fears in lockdown, says data watchdog Two businesses that dispatched more than 2.6 million nuisance text messages seeking to exploit lower household incomes during Britain’s first lockdown are nursing a combined financial penalty of £330,000 from the UK’s data watchdog.…

Let us tell you a tale of the Mailman's Apprentice Who, Me? The weekend is over and Monday is here. Celebrate your IT prowess with another there-but-for-the-grace confession from the Who, Me? archives.…

Perseverance takes first drive around landing spot named in honor of seminal sci-fi author Octavia E. Butler NASA’s Perseverance rover trekked across Mars for the first time last Thursday, March 4, 2021.…

Without Honor, or 5G silicon, there can be no victory Oppo has become China’s top smartphone brand for the first time, according to analyst house Counterpoint.…

Don't just patch, check for p0wnage, says top natsec team The Biden administration has urged users of Microsoft's Exchange mail and messaging server to ensure they have not fallen victim to the recently-detected "Hafnium" attack on Exchange Server that Microsoft says originated in China.…

Will go live in 2022 and ‘effectively double’ capacity in the Middle Kingdom Microsoft has revealed it plans to open a fifth Azure region in China.…

Side-channel ring race 'hard to mitigate with existing defenses' Chip-busting boffins in America have devised yet another way to filch sensitive data by exploiting Intel's processor design choices.…

‘Subtle and very nasty bug’ meant 5.12 rc1 could trash entire filesystems Linux overlord Linus Torvalds has rushed out a new release candidate of Linux 5.12 after the first in the new series was found to include a ‘subtle and very nasty bug’ that was so serious he marked rc1 as unsuitable for use.…

Proof-of-concept SEER taught over eight days using 512 GPUs Facebook has trained its most advanced semi-supervised computer vision system yet on a dataset of a billion public images taken from Instagram, its other social network.…

Trick future robot overlords by scribbling 'superuser' on your forehead OpenAI researchers believe they have discovered a shockingly easy way to hoodwink their object-recognition software, and it requires just pen and paper to carry out.…

'That is not the world we want, nor the one users deserve' With the arrival of Google Chrome v89 on Tuesday, Google is preparing to test a technology called Federated Learning of Cohorts, or FLoC, that it hopes will replace increasingly shunned, privacy-denying third-party cookies.…

Why are cellular networks so worried about batt life during lockdown? US telco Verizon recently splashed $45bn on 5G spectrum and then advised its customers to use LTE to save device battery life. Not to be outdone, rival carrier T-Mobile is recommending battery-anxious punters use 2G instead of the latest-and-greatest in cellular connectivity.…

SaaS pusher says it has locked up social media account after 'unauthorised access' Near ubiquitous SaaS CRM pusher Salesforce got a rude awakening this week when its carefully curated image of a business addressing racial equality was shattered by its clearly hacked LinkedIn page.…

Deep sea submersible may help humans explore deepest oceans Researchers in China have developed flexible submersible robots that experts say might one day help humans reveal the secrets to unexplored depths of the Earth's vast oceans.…

Ninth anniversary celebrated with bug fixes for enthusiasts and power users A month after version 7.1 of LibreOffice hit the streets, the first update has landed replete with a swathe of bug fixes for the suite.…

Data from multiple aviation giants hit Not that many planes are taking off these days, but that didn’t stop the flight of passenger records from servers belonging to aviation tech supplier SITA after it was hit by a "cyberattack".…

'Bold play by Wipro, but one not without risk' - analyst Outsourcing provider Wipro has bid $1.45bn for banking consultant and digital transformation outfit Capco.…

Suit says he couldn't tell 'old' price from 'new', nor perceive pop-up window Updated A legally blind man who cannot see "faces or text" has claimed that Dell is violating federal accessibility laws by maintaining an improperly formatted website and online store.…

'You'll be surprised at how much you can do with a personal computer' It has been 40 years since the launch of Sinclair's ZX81, a device that welcomed countless Brits to the delights of home computing at the dawn of the 1980s.…

'No access to buildings' for striking Repayment Project engineers, confirms company Updated Openreach’s Project Repayment Engineers who are already on the picket line to protest over changes in the grading structure that they say devalues their role, are naming five more strike dates.…

One-fifth of all flights in a 3 hour period were affected GPS jamming of airliners not only causes navigational havoc but delays commercial airline flights too, EU airspace regulator Eurocontrol has complained in a new report.…

Our vulture Iain argues against this week's motion Reader debate Welcome to the latest Register Debate in which writers discuss technology topics, and you – the reader – choose the winning argument. The format is simple: a motion was proposed this week, the argument for the motion was published on Wednesday, and the argument against is published today.…

Untangling privacy implications of using Google's productivity suite not easy A Dutch government report identifying "10 high data protection risks" for users of Google Workspace, formerly known as G Suite, has been revised after Google's response, and now says eight high risk issues still remain.…

Still waiting for neuroscientists to work out why Something for the Weekend, Sir? Never again. As Gods are my witnesses, you will never catch me [insert gerund here] in future. I have learnt my lesson.…

Friends and family tech support meets steam-powered computing On Call It's a friends and family episode of On Call today, dedicated to the moments when one's attempts to render IT assistance are met with bafflement or just plain hostility.…

The walls are closing in on the iGiant The UK's antitrust watchdog has launched an investigation into Apple’s app store after developers complained its strict rules are an unfair stranglehold and may break competition law.…

Netflix and drive is finally here Honda has started selling the first commercial passenger vehicle with level 3 autonomy - the ability to drive in many situations without human intervention, but with the expectation a human is always ready to take control.…

Faster, Sysadmin! Install! Install! The Chromium crew has revved its engines and decided it will soon emit a new stable release every four weeks and create a new type of release for those who are built for comfort rather than speed.…

Tech visa reform pledged, alongside diplomacy to write new rules for tech The Biden administration has named China as the most threatening nation the United States faces, on grounds that it can combine its technological and other capabilities like no other.…

Despite perils of 500PB data trove, 'microservices abuse' and need to rapidly bring Asian tech to the world PayPal says it managed to deliver 30 per cent more features than usual during 2020, a year in which its teams worked from home.…

Software remains pretty much the same... but at twice the price Red Hat Enterprise Linux Server has maintained the same starting price over the past few years. Now, changes to the way the software is licensed have doubled the cost for some self-support customers using virtual machines.…

Assuming your content blocker can scrutinize DNS AdGuard on Thursday published a list of more than 6,000 CNAME-based trackers so they can be incorporated into content-blocking filters.…

Charges filed against head of content as cast and crew apply for 'anticipatory bail' Amazon Prime India has issued a rare-for-Big-Tech apology for material deemed offensive in Bezos's streaming arm's political thriller, Tandav, as legal writs fly.…

Good news for memory makers, not such great news for wider tech world US memory maker Micron Technology expects the chronic shortage of DRAM in the market to continue throughout this year, according to senior veep and CFO David Zinsner.…

Hit the organ-grinder, not just the monkey US payments processing biz Brightspeed Solutions and its founder have been accused of handling $63m on behalf of tech support scammers who preyed on the elderly and less technically adept while posing as reps of Microsoft and Symantec.…

Come to Outlook Mobile. The water's lovely Microsoft issued a reminder during its Ignite shindig this week that for every shiny new service it launches, it nudges an older one aside once the lustre has worn off.…

High-growth hungry investors worrying you? Try hyperscalers! Snowflake has more than doubled its annual revenue in the last year but investors seem unimpressed with the $33bn IPO company's efforts.…

Bit of a pain switching the thing on, but you can't have everything Unwilling to wait the few months until the launch of the first Apple Silicon iMac, a popular retro computing vlogger has retrofitted a 2011 27-inch model with the innards of the latest M1 Mac Mini. And it worked. Sort of.…

Red Hat's State of Enterprise Open Source might have an answer A shift within the enterprise to open source is gathering pace due less to total cost of ownership and more to innovations around infrastructure and container technologies, according to a new report.…

Talk about a hostile environment... It's £70k+ but you'll really sweat for it For the brave – or perhaps foolhardy – senior IT jobs hunters there is an opening at the UK Home Office for a Deputy Director of IT Operations in a lovely '70s era highrise in Croydon.…

Partly chalked up to someone applying a plunger to the supply chain blockage The prospect of a return to office-based work as vaccinations increase has done nothing to dampen PC demand, with IDC forecasting double-digit growth for traditional consumer and business computing devices in Q1.…