The Register

No, not the TV show, as great as it is. You, silly! Canalys Forum 2020 There are lies, damn lies, and tech vendor surveys, but the latest from hyperconverged specialist Nutanix might raise a wry smile. It turns out IT is important after all.…

Plus: MPs call for more OpenRAN-based work in UK The British government should rip out Huawei's 5G mobile network equipment regardless of the facts because doing so would curry favour with Donald Trump's US, Parliament's Defence Committee has said in an extraordinary new report.…

Sure, Salesforce is our main squeeze but we're open to suggestions Analysis Entering a marriage, it might be tough to keep old flames alive but that's what Tableau is trying to do as it gets closer to Salesforce, the enterprise application company which announced a $15.7m merger in June last year.…

LDMIA sp!, {die, die, die} Arm DevSummit Arm has set the date from when its high-end smartphone and laptop-grade Cortex-A processor cores will go fully 64-bit only.…

A fascinating exhibition of historic artefacts – and that's just the obsolete software Bork!Bork!Bork! Today's submission to the pantheon of bork comes from reader Alastair Craft (who spotted a rolling BSOD earlier this year) via the rather splendid Museum of London Docklands.…

And new boss beams: 'Actually, business has been going well ... We are not expecting a downturn' Sundar Subramanian, general manager of enterprise app platform Progress, marked the completion of his company's acquisition of DevOps outfit Chef with the words: "I can’t wait to see what Progress and Chef can do together."…

Emmanuelle Charpentier, Jennifer Doudna will split $1m+ winnings Two biochemistry professors who led the groundbreaking development of CRISPR, the controversial "genetic scissors" DNA-editing tool, have been awarded the Nobel Prize in chemistry.…

Sure, millions of profile pages slurped via dodgy Facebook API though it didn't actually affect anything, it seems The UK's privacy watchdog has wrapped up its probe into Cambridge Analytica, saying it found no hard evidence to support claims the controversial biz used data scrapped from people's Facebook profiles to influence the Brexit referendum nor the US 2016 presidential election. There was no clear evidence of Russian involvement, either.…

We can’t get our community to agree, perhaps you’ll do our job for us? After two years of failed policy work, ICANN has returned to Europe, dropped to its knees, and begged the continent to finish the rest of the DNS overseer's half-done Whois domain-name database so that it doesn't fall foul of GDPR.…

Don’t worry, it’s only the future of software development at stake Special report The decade-long mega-battle between two of the world’s largest corporations, which will decide the future of software development, began its final showdown this morning.…

Come back, Word 97, all is forgiven Updated Microsoft says it is figuring out why its cloud-based unproductivity suite Office 365 is down yet again for unlucky subscribers. The knackered platform knocked over Teams, Exchange Online, SharePoint Online, OneDrive for Business, and more.…

Sorry, EnrEcho Ringlesias couldn't come up with a suitable last line Amazon is to start selling its Eero mesh Wi-Fi hubs to ISPs in a move that breaks from its direct-to-consumer business model.…

Crowdsourced firm will be hoping you repair it yourself rather than rely on its incredibly generous policy Hoping to break the cycle of environmental catastrophe that is consumer tech, Teracube's next eco-conscious and repairable smartphone is available for pre-order on crowdfunding platform Indiegogo.…

Exec adopts a build-and-they-will-come mentality Canalys Forum 2020 Forecasting tech sales is a dark art at the best of times but in a pandemic it takes on a whole new level of complexity. Unperturbed, Lenovo's president and COO is predicting shipment growth not seen in a decade for 2021.…

The IT services wish list is about what you'd expect from an 18-month-old Barely 18 months old, newly formed Bournemouth, Christchurch and Poole Council has offered £18m to private sector IT and consultancy firms, asking if they can take on, well, almost everything.…

We pulled entire website to halt attack, says spokesman UK cashless school payments firm Wisepay has pulled its website offline after spotting a miscreant trying to spoof its card payment page.…

Also: James Webb Space Telescope shaken but not stirred, and Cygnus brings relief to the ISS In brief The weekend started badly for rocket fanciers as SpaceX failed yet again to launch a GPS III satellite for the US Space Force. The mission has been subject to repeated delays, and the company opted to press ahead last week with an attempt from Cape Canaveral's Space Launch Complex 40.…

Own one of those Xfinity XR11 TV zappers? You better get patching A voice-activated TV remote can be turned into a covert home surveillance device, according to researchers from infosec firm Guardicore who probed the device to show that a man-in-the-middle attack could compromise it.…

If you fear you'll drown in AWS, GCP, Azure, etc, maybe this is a wave you'd like to catch Infrastructure-as-a-Service provider DigitalOcean dipped its toes into the Platform-as-a-Service waters on Tuesday with the launch of App Platform.…

Because who would want to be a standalone print or copier biz in 2020? Japanese print and copier specialist Ricoh has snaffled UK storage infrastructure and security managed service provider MTI Technology for a figure understood to be in the region of £30m.…

120 hours' community service and suspended sentence for computer misuse and data protection crimes A police officer who quit while under investigation for computer misuse crimes has walked free from court after pleading guilty to a total of nine offences.…

Dept of Labor demands proof Windows giant isn't making 'illegal race-based decisions' in diversity push After Microsoft vowed to double its number of Black and African American bosses and senior staffers, the US government challenged the policy as potentially racist, it was revealed Tuesday.…

'These once scrappy, underdog startups have become the kinds of monopolies we last saw in the era of oil barons and railroad tycoons' A long-awaited congressional report into Apple, Amazon, Facebook, and Google has been published – and it concludes the online giants are monopolists that need to be broken up.…

Cops charge suspect with theft as audit claims this gear definitely wasn't on loan A former public library employee is accused of stealing and reselling at least $1.3m worth of toner from his workplace over a 12-year period.…

Tech industry may limber up for war The Trump administration has announced it will place new restrictions on the H-1B work visa program, such as narrowing eligibility for foreign workers and recomputing minimum salary levels.…

Analyst predicts five good years as homeworking and refresh cycles meld The COVID-19 pandemic has proven fruitful for the consumer Wi-Fi sector, according to analyst house ABI Research, with shipments this year set to increase and long-term growth forecast.…

Bugs from Lodash and JQuery among the more commonly seen security problems GitLab, a rival to Microsoft's hosted git service GitHub, has for the second time tested the security of customers' hosted software projects... and found them wanting.…

Gives you confidence in an era where nobody accepts cash any more A little more than a quarter of companies worldwide are fully compliant with the exacting PCI DSS online payment security standard, according to US telco Verizon.…

Microsoft isn't the only company to fiddle with its iconography Google has fired a rebrandogun loaded with fresh icons at its G Suite platform. Prepare to relinquish the suite life and put nose to the grindstone in Google's "Workspace".…

Offshore electricity production target doable, says expert, but we need to decarbonise transport and heating too The UK government has committed to increasing offshore wind energy production from 30GW to 40GW by 2030 amid confusion over what it means for home power consumption.…

Meanwhile, Euro outsourcer claims Interserve failed to pay £3.5m invoices Interserve has alleged that Sopra Steria's IT outsourcing division caused it to bungle a Ministry of Justice prisoner rehabilitation contract because too many of the latter's staff were signed off sick through stress caused by overwork to deliver on its promises.…

Push to buy from 'purposeful suppliers' coincides with launch of yachting app Making a company's ethical image all shipshape and Bristol fashion requires careful navigation of choppy waters – so perhaps SAP should know better.…

Some things simply don't belong in regulatory environments Column The howls of disbelieving, horrified laughter caused by the news of the latest pandemic data cock-up yesterday were well deserved.…

Pour a bowl of granola and celebrate free and open software The Free Software Foundation turned 35 on Sunday, ushering in a week-long celebration of its user liberation efforts.…

Up to 5,600 megatransfers per second at just 1.1V, company claims South Korean memory giant SK Hynix has released the world's first commercially available DDR5 DRAM sticks, pipping rivals Samsung and Micron.…

Faking an emergency collision alarm - just what you don't need over Heathrow Aviation boffins have found that next-gen collision aircraft avoidance systems appear to be just as vulnerable to signal spoofing attacks as older kit.…

No pressure West Yorkshire Combined Authority (WYCA) is on the hunt for a new £3m ERP system amid an IT services revamp.…

Firm says 'cyber incident' is being fought with third-party help Jersey-headquartered insurance company Ardonagh Group has suffered a potential ransomware infection.…

Go-live date of 1 December 2021 or authority incurs the full cost of SAP support and maintenance for 2022 Surrey County Council, a local authority in southern England, has awarded Unit4 a £30m contract to replace its SAP ERP system, with a private consultant picking up £177,000 to lead the programme for two years.…

Just a short 100 or more light years away Astrobiologists have found 24 exoplanets that, compared to Earth, may have environments better suited to complex life like that found on our world.…

Dot-UK overlord descends into farce The operator of the .uk registry has descended into a farce after refusing to accept a complaint from one of its members – and claiming its CEO didn’t mean what he is recorded on camera saying.…

We sat through the full day so you didn't have to GTC 2020 Nvidia on Monday launched its first ever virtual GPU Technology Conference, taking place online over the course of this week across multiple timezones.…

He paid more or less than $750, though? Two US government tentacles this week snared John McAfee, accusing the one-time antivirus mogul of tax evasion and breaking securities law.…

Centripetal Networks uses lawsuit against Switchzilla. It's super effective Cisco has been hit with a massive $1.9bn patent-infringement bill for copying cybersecurity tech from Centripetal Networks and pushing the company out of lucrative government contracts.…

One person still believes forced sale is a good idea. Hint: He’s in hospital China has accused the United States of breaking international trade rules by threatening to block the TikTok app unless the Chinese biz sells its operations to a US company.…

iGiant 'would rather shred stuff than let it hit the used market' Apple in January sued the Canadian arm of Global Electric Electronic Processing (GEEP) for allegedly reselling roughly 100,000 iPhones, iPads, and Apple Watches that were supposed to be broken up and recycled.…

Don't be monster-mashing that reservation button in the US and Canada, you ghouls and ghosts Airbnb is cracking down on late-October reservations, hoping to thwart anyone's plans for a rowdy Halloween get-together in the US or Canada.…

It's like Hacking Team all over again Russian antivirus maker Kaspersky has said it uncovered "rogue UEFI firmware images" seemingly developed by black hats with links to China.…

IRC-for-the-2020s up and down as it catches a bad case of the Mondays Slack has been up and down on Monday thanks to a mystery issue the software's maker is still probing.…

Those most likely being image sensors and NAND flash storage for phones Sony and Kioxia have reportedly requested waivers from the US government that would allow them to supply Huawei with components.…