The Register

Says no one has bad word to say about tie-in with former Hadoop rival Plans for the merger between former Hadoop-flingers Cloudera and Hortonworks are ahead of schedule, Cloudera boss Tom Reilly has said.…

Jeff Bezos' brown box empire slammed for failing to protect employees Amazon has once again been slammed for conditions workers face in its warehouses after a robot in a US site popped a can of bear repellant, hospitalising 24 staff.…

Joseph Sirosh has left the building The office of CTO for AI at Microsoft now has a stonking great “vacant” sign plastered on it, as previous incumbent Joseph Sirosh this week trotted off to become CTO of Compass, a New York-based real-estate outfit.…

Imagine the kind of luxury custard creams you'd get at that meeting, right proles? You've worked at Capita for at least two years, have seen your fair share of colleagues sent down the redundancy chute in that time, been forced to clip travel costs and biz expenses to do your bit toward profitability.…

Extremely, er, unspecified helium-filled gaming disk performance Toshiba has taken its 12 and 14TB MG07 disk drive techn and produced PC gaming and prosumer/SMB NAS drive products, updating its N300 NAS and X300 gaming product lines.…

Got a Surface Book 2 on 1803? You should probably uninstall last week's update Users of the Windows 10 October 2018 Update, rejoice! Microsoft has slung out a hefty patch to, er, fix a whole bunch of stuff that was broken in the Update of the Damned.…

Admit they are upping their use of mass snooping UK spies are planning to increase their use of bulk equipment interference, as the range of encrypted hardware and software applications they can't tap into increases.…

Tweaking the disaggregated server recipe Composable systems supplier Liqid has added Optane SSDs to its cocktail of dynamic, roll-your-own server systems – the first amongst a crowd of composable vendors that are sure to follow suit.…

Also, Musk's giant mitt misses again but don't worry. Those salt stains will buff out ok SpaceX demonstrated that it can indeed walk on water last night, but only briefly, in this week’s space round-up.…

Infosec duo worked out how to remotely set their own answers Black Hat Crafty infosec researchers have figured out how to remotely set answers to Windows 10’s password reset questions “without even executing code on the targeted machine”.…

Python slithers out of Azure Functions shadows but ACS is for chop Microsoft Connect(); Azure Containers and Serverless processes were given some attention at this week’s Microsoft Connect(); 2018 event, with the Kubernetes Service and Azure Functions being given feature bumps.…

Don’t want to speak at our Reg event? Grab a blind bird ticket Events The call for papers for MCubed 2019 is open, so if you're using machine learning or AI in real life we'd love to hear from you.…

London Blue gang probably has your firm's org chart Black Hat A Nigerian email scammer gang has evolved to the point where it has corporate-style specialist departments and uses commercial business intelligence data brokers to help plan its attacks.…

'Global' network issue pinned on supplier – Ericsson 'working' on solution Customers of O2, GiffGaff and virtual operators who use Telefonica's network in the UK have been hit by a spectacular outage across the country. Transport information services have also been affected.…

Faster Android builds, more space, but don't expect to find a Windows Phone emulator The first public preview of Visual Studio 2019 was tossed to developers on Tuesday at Microsoft's Connect(); 2018 event. The Register took it for a spin to see what was up.…

Sorry suits, PC sales set to slide this year despite OS excuse to refresh computer tin The PC industry is trapped in a battle between the immovable objects that are Intel shortages and crap consumer demand, versus the unstoppable force of enterprises upgrading to Windows 10.…

Hey, you forgot to build in some obsolescence Comment In the late '90s, Eric Schmidt was an accessible tech CEO with a problem. Novell's product was so good and so reliable nobody needed to upgrade it. If one day people decided to stop using their current version, they wouldn't switch to another version of Novell, the one that Eric was trying to sell, but something else entirely. I thought this was the worst job in the world and Eric probably did too, washing up as the adult supervision at Google in 2001.…

100,000 Genomes Project is secure, insists chair An ambitious project to map the DNA of a million Brits has experienced such sustained hack attacks that officials have had to shift the data to a Ministry of Defence (MoD) facility in Wiltshire.…

Uncle Sam says it has no clue when the complex tech will arrive in a useful form The US National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine issued a report this week on the state of quantum computing. It's a subject of some concern given speculation that such devices could render current encryption schemes worthless.…

Paper's safer, says parliamentary committee An Australian parliamentary committee has nixed the idea of internet voting for federal elections Down Under, for now.…

Meet AlphaFold, an artificially intelligent system to predict crucial biochemical structures Researchers at DeepMind are using AI software to study how proteins fold, with the hope that it will help scientists design new drugs more quickly.…

Exec could face trial in the US for 'cutting deals' with White House's Middle East bête noire The chief financial officer and deputy chairwoman of Huawei has been arrested in Canada – and could face extradition to the US on charges of violating trade sanctions against Iran.…

iOS, macOS, tvOS, Safari, and anyone for some reason using iTunes on Windows – get patching Apple has released a fresh set of security updates for its Mac and iOS software.…

US watchdog says it's about spam, but really it's about profits The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) has been criticized as "arbitrary and reckless" for pushing a plan to change how text messages are regulated without looking at the impact it may have.…

An NE555 this is not Yesterday, Qualcomm teased its Snapdragon 855 processor, which is aimed at next year's top-end 5G Android phones. Today, we've got hold of more details of its insides.…

You ain't seen nothing like it. Except every day of your life In a groundbreaking leap into the future, self-driving car specialist Waymo has launched its first truly driverless taxi service, in Phoenix, Arizona – complete with a driver.…

Code to defeat letter-based I'm-a-human tests revealed, major sites left wide open If you're one of those people who hates picking out cars, street signs and other objects in CAPTCHA image grids, then get used to it because the days of text-based alternatives are numbered.…

Brit parliamentarians dump documents on the internet Analysis Emails released today reveal Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg discussing how to squeeze more cash from companies that want to tap into the platform's goldmine of personal data on a billion-plus people.…

It's like a greatest hits album of terrible security policies Stop us if you've heard this one before: An Adobe Flash zero-day vulnerability is being actively targeted in the wild to hijack victims' Windows PCs.…

Come on in, the water's lovely, urges cloudy database team Sandwiched between the open source excitement of Microsoft’s Connect(); 2018 event was news to set the hearts of database fans a-quiver. As well as a slew of new toys, the cost of entry and scaling of its globally distributed database service, Cosmos DB, was lowered considerably.…

It came with the package when we swallowed EE BT and Huawei said today that reports the Chinese kit-maker's products would not be used on EE's 3G and 4G core mobile ops – and that it was out of the running for any bids for the 5G core – should surprise no one.…

Watchdog's report damning amid calls for 'firewall' for immigration data sharing The Home Office is under pressure to scrap data-sharing deals set up as part of efforts to hit immigration targets as its governance of such transfers have been slammed by the UK’s spending watchdog.…

Facebook not even in survey's top 50, while Goldman Sachs lords it over tech's big-hitters It would appear that the kickback against big tech continues apace as Facebook has dropped out of a list of the top 50 best places to work in the UK and Google has been knocked off its top spot... by a water company.…

Why? Er, 'professional reasons' A former headteacher has landed himself in hot water with the UK's data watchdog for downloading personal information on children he previously taught and uploading it to servers at his new school.…

Just kidding, no one deserves that. But you'd be right Microsoft's Slack-alike, Teams, has taken a beating from the stick of instability, and was still wobbling at the time of publication.…

Operating, net losses deepen in Q3, mLab revenues to stumble after buyout NoSQL database slinger MongoDB bragged about winning conservative customers from legacy vendors as it reported another quarter of increasing revenues – but also saw operating and net losses increase.…

Marina Kaljurand thinks the days of going it alone are over Black Hat Governments need to "turn from public private partnership slogans to real partnerships" on cybersecurity, former Estonian foreign minister Marina Kaljurand told the Black Hat infosec conference in London this morning.…

Just 8 telcos applied, most didn't meet critera BT will likely remain the sole broadband universal service provider for most of the UK because smaller ISPs didn't meet Ofcom's qualification criteria and Hyperoptic pulled out of the running.…

Crypto-boffins' paper shows AKA protocol still broken A protocol meant to protect smartphone users' privacy is vulnerable to fake base station attacks all the way from 3G to 5G, according to a group of international researchers. All the baddies need is a little over €1,100 worth of kit and a laptop.…

External Canvio drive leads the way in capacity upgrade Toshiba has pulled the covers off a 4TB portable 2.5-inch disk drive using 1TB/platter technology.…

IDC looks at stagnant US market ... and sees only joy Last week it was Gartner's turn to look for diamonds in the ashes of the wearable market. This week another tech analyst, IDC, has expressed hope that wearables can flourish - despite the evidence.…

How much for scrawl from the hand of Jobs? A nice mid-range Audi It is official: Steve Jobs, the co-founder of Apple, the marketing demigod, the dream weaver that captured the hearts and wallets of a planet, has the priciest signature around.…

Dart-based dev tool aspires to allow the creation of software that runs everywhere Google's cross-platform mobile Flutter SDK reached its 1.0 milestone on Tuesday, an event marked at the Flutter Live conference in London.…

Don't worry, NASA's not skimping on astronauts - the food is for mice El Reg has never noticed that rodents were too fussy to turn down food because of mold – but that's what's just put a 24-hour delay to the latest SpaceX mission to the International Space Station.…

Aussies demand backdoor to encrypted apps. Good luck with that says tech industry A backroom deal between two of Australia's government and opposition parties should mean local law enforcement can force firms to backdoor their communications by Christmas.…

Cavium acquisition will pay off soon, says CEO Matt Murphy In spite of weakness in the storage market, Marvell Technology is optimistic about the future, and has given itself a pass-mark for the acquisition of rival Cavium, which completed in July this year.…

CEO sees questions in the coming months, however HPE boss Antonio Neri put the wraps on his first year as CEO with another solid fiscal quarter.…

New York attorney general takes Oath of office Owner of defunct former giants AOL and Yahoo, Oath, has been fined $5m for illegally selling ads to kids.…

But sorting out the good boobs from bad boobs isn't easy Tumblr is hoping to automatically cleanse its social media platform of explicit pornographic content containing genitals and female nipples using machine learning algorithms.…

NRCC says it was hit in run-up to 2018 elections The National Republican Congressional Committee, the Republican Party's campaigning arm, has confirmed it has fallen victim to a major compromise of its email system.…