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by Kevin on (#5ZG7)
Here's a more interesting decision by the Supreme Court, although maybe "decision" is the wrong word. The question is: if your client insists on filing something that is complete gibberish, do you have to agree, or do you have an... Related StoriesMinor Wordfoolery in Today's Supreme Court OpinionWhom the Gods Would Destroy, They First Make MadJudge Caught Driving Defendant's Car Says He Was "Just Looking After It"
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Lowering the Bar
| Link | https://www.loweringthebar.net/ |
| Feed | http://feeds.feedblitz.com/loweringthebar |
| Updated | 2025-06-07 03:01 |
by Kevin on (#5FNW)
I don't much like DHS, and I really don't like TSA, but I'm cool with DHSOIG because it seems to be genuinely trying to get TSA to shape up, even if TSA just ignores it. That's the DHS Office of...
by Kevin on (#5FNX)
According to reports today, 33-year-old Rep. Aaron Schock's sudden decision to resign will not end federal investigations into his alleged misuse of campaign funds. Schock, seen above either speaking to young supporters or appearing in an episode of How I... Related StoriesJudge Caught Driving Defendant's Car Says He Was "Just Looking After It"Accused Fraudster Strapped His Ankle Bracelet to a RobotTwo More Drunk-Driving Excuses to Cross Off the List
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by Kevin on (#5FNY)
Associated Press, Mar. 16, 2015, 6:27 p.m. PDT: NEW ORLEANS (AP) – A Louisiana State Police trooper says millionaire Robert Durst has been booked on weapons charges in that state—on top of a first-degree murder charge lodged by Los Angeles...
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by Kevin on (#5FNZ)
The original headline, "Arkansas Judge Mauled by Family's Pet Zebra," was pretty good and has a nice rhythm to it, but I thought it was important to be clear that the zebra-owning family was his own. This wasn't just a... Related StoriesJudge Wanted: Must Be Able to Read, Tell TimeAnother Zamboni DUIRide Something Dangerous Down a Hill Today
by Kevin on (#555A)
A review of my Bad Disguises category reveals that I haven't been very consistent about numbering these. Although in my defense, when I started doing that I had not contemplated that more than one person would, for example, wrap his...
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by Kevin on (#555B)
Things haven't gone too well for Eike Batista over the past few years. Once the richest man in Brazil and among the top ten in the world (he supposedly made it to eighth place), with a net worth of about... Related StoriesAggravated Pimpin' Ain't EasyS.F. Cops Arrest Public Defender for Publicly DefendingCourt Unconvinced by Lawyer Dressed as Thomas Jefferson
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by Kevin on (#555C)
The government is using the word "contraption," and that is probably more accurate but "robot" made the headline funnier. I don't know why. That's just how this works sometimes. As I mentioned the other day, Paul Ceglia, who previously demanded... Related StoriesFeds Say They Have Accused Fraudster's Ankle Bracelet in CustodyTwo More Drunk-Driving Excuses to Cross Off the ListHeiress Sentenced to One Year on Nut-Rage Charges
by Kevin on (#555D)
"An amusing order," said Matt, who sent me this. Matt, you had me at "Living Soul Chief Asan Manuel Mustafah Fearce W. Yahzoo." This comes to us from the Northern District of West Virginia, where yesterday a judge dismissed a... Related StoriesGuy Sues Legal System AgainIt's Only a Flesh Wound"Haulin' Oats"? No Can Do
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by Kevin on (#4RDT)
Unfortunately, he's not in it at the moment. Paul Ceglia, who once sued Mark Zuckerberg claiming half of Facebook, and who last appeared here back in Assorted Stupidity #39 after his ninth set of lawyers withdrew from that case, has... Related StoriesHeiress Sentenced to One Year on Nut-Rage ChargesFYI, the Secretary of the Treasury is Not "Moe Money"Two More Drunk-Driving Excuses to Cross Off the List
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by Kevin on (#4RDW)
How do you know it's time to give up and dismiss your claim? Well, if the judge is comparing you to the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, now's probably a good time: Actually, the good time... Related Stories"Haulin' Oats"? No Can DoPlease Read This Before Bombing New MexicoVarious Plaintiffs v. Various Defendants
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by Kevin on (#4MFH)
An appellate court has ruled that "the danger posed by a plate of sizzling hot food [is] self-evident," thus dooming a New Jersey man's attempt to sue Applebee's for burns suffered while bowing his head to pray over a plate... Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #72Assorted Stupidity #71Assorted Stupidity #70
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by Kevin on (#4MFJ)
A recent order from the Supreme Court of South Carolina (thanks, Anonymous) has updated the initial eligibility requirements for those who would like to be magistrate judges in that state. All applicants must now take and pass both the Wonderlic... Related StoriesAnother Zamboni DUIRide Something Dangerous Down a Hill TodayKirby Delauter, Sherbert Deluder
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by Kevin on (#4EYV)
Early Bird Foods is not the first company to think it would be amusing to name an oats-based product "Haulin' Oats," so it should have known that doing this would be problematic. One of their less-well-known marks As Rolling Stone... Related StoriesVarious Plaintiffs v. Various DefendantsWhom the Gods Would Destroy, They First Make MadGood Reason to Kill #50: Would Not Buy a Hat
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by Kevin on (#4EYW)
First: Do not blow up any part of New Mexico without express permission. Second: By "this" I don't mean this post, although if you have started your research here that is fine, if somewhat disturbing. By "this," of course, I... Related StoriesTwitter Takedown of Scottish ScamProperty Dispute Resolved With Power SawMUGABE SPOKESMAN: Even Jesus Would Have Tripped
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by Kevin on (#4EYY)
I mentioned Christoff v. Nestlé the other day—you know, the case where the guy was surprised to see his face on the Taster's Choice coffee label and ended up getting $15 million for it—and someone wrote me to ask how... Related StoriesExpert: Invitation to Child's Party Not EnforceableUtah Court Says Woman Can Sue HerselfJury Finds for Rick Springfield in Buttocks-Assault Case
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by Kevin on (#4EYZ)
As I mentioned a few days ago, I argued a case before the California Supreme Court on Tuesday. I thought some of you might be interested to see the checklist I put together to help me prepare: I forgot to... Related StoriesProgram NoteOrder on One Millionth Discovery DisputeTom & Jerry Go to Court
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by Kevin on (#460D)
No new posts today (except this one, of course) or tomorrow, because to your likely shock and amazement I am actually arguing a case tomorrow before the California Supreme Court. And no, the case is not in any way comical.... Related StoriesCaption Contest ResultsCaption Contest!Is Your Local Courthouse Infested With Bats?
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by Kevin on (#4031)
Mr. Yates caught some fish that he shouldn't have hoarded, Because of the risk that his ship would be boarded. An officer noticed that some were too small, And ordered the man to hang onto them all 'Til returning to... Related StoriesBobby Chen Promises Supreme Court He Will Show Up This TimeCounsel, That's Not Your Normal Speaking Voice, Is It?Supreme Court: Want to Search a Cellphone? "Get a Warrant."
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by Kevin on (#4033)
Scottish lawyer Malcolm Combe recently posted this tale about a promoted tweet gone wrong. He and several other lawyers went after a company called Highland Titles, which was making this offer: For just 30 quid, it would appear, you can... Related StoriesU.S. Pat. No. 8605152: Method for Filming a Yoga ClassProperty Dispute Resolved With Power SawSiberian Tax Collectors Reportedly Holding Cats Hostage
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by Kevin on (#4035)
Lots of great suggestions for the caption contest, but I'm going to go with this one: "The Department is extremely grateful to this Bozo for coming forward and identifying the 29 other people in his vehicle at the time of... Related StoriesCaption Contest!Is Your Local Courthouse Infested With Bats?Nude Citizens Make Nude Citizens' Arrest of Nude Citizen
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by Kevin on (#4036)
Here's an update to yesterday's item on the Idaho legislator who asked whether a swallowed camera could be used for a gynecological exam. This clip from a local news report (thanks, J) includes some video from the hearing in question,... Related StoriesMale Legislator Asks If Swallowed Camera Could Be Used for GynecologyTenth Circuit Forced to Diagram Congressional SentenceMUGABE SPOKESMAN: Even Jesus Would Have Tripped
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by Kevin on (#3R16)
This has stunned me into a near-silence so I'm going to rely mostly on the Associated Press (thanks, Adam): BOISE, Idaho — An Idaho lawmaker received a brief lesson on female anatomy after asking if a woman can swallow a... Related StoriesTenth Circuit Forced to Diagram Congressional SentenceMUGABE SPOKESMAN: Even Jesus Would Have TrippedCounsel, That's Not Your Normal Speaking Voice, Is It?
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by Kevin on (#3R17)
You might not be able to name the Secretary of the Treasury, but you probably know it isn't "Moe Money." Nor does the United States have a cabinet-level officer, or one at any level, actually, whose title is "Proprietor of... Related StoriesNobody Move! This Is a Film ProjectNOTE: Trying to Blow Up an ATM Could BackfireWhat Does a Security-Camera Thief Look Like?
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by Kevin on (#3KDE)
"He left a very disturbing message with one of my staff people," said California state rep. Lorena Gonzalez. The caller: actor Rob Schneider, who said he would spend money to defeat Gonzalez because she supports a bill to eliminate the... Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #71Assorted Stupidity #70Assorted Stupidity #69
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by Kevin on (#3KDG)
Haven't done this before, but let's give it a try: best reader-submitted caption for this recent news photo gets a free book. Oh, the free book will be a copy of The Emergency Sasquatch Ordinance, in case that affects (in... Related StoriesIs Your Local Courthouse Infested With Bats?Nude Citizens Make Nude Citizens' Arrest of Nude CitizenMom Calls C-SPAN Show to Tell Her Sons to Get Along
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by Kevin on (#3KDH)
You might not consider Utah the most progressive state, but it has become the first to grant its citizens a controversial right that many have long been denied, proving that the law does evolve. Utah has now become the first... Related StoriesExpert: Invitation to Child's Party Not EnforceableWoman Alleges Vicious Beagle Slain by Noble Pit BullsWoman Seeks Damages for Damage Caused by Woman
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by Kevin on (#3KDJ)
Actually, you really shouldn't have a list like this in the first place, but if you do, these should not be on it. The first one comes to us from New Jersey (thanks, Grant & Gerald), where two guys tried... Related StoriesHeiress Sentenced to One Year on Nut-Rage ChargesWriter Says Charles Manson's Girlfriend Only Wants His BodyAggravated Pimpin' Ain't Easy
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by Kevin on (#384X)
Nutrageous! Justice was swift for Cho Hyun-ah, the now-former VP of Korean Air Lines who went first-class crazy after being offered macadamia nuts in a bag instead of on a dish, a service faux pas in clear violation of the... Related StoriesAggravated Pimpin' Ain't EasyDefendants Settle With Student Arrested for Possessing Arabic FlashcardsCan I Use the Carpool Lane If I Have a Prisoner?
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by Kevin on (#3043)
The claim isn't that her attraction to him is only physical—he doesn't get conjugal visits anyway. It's that she only wants to marry him because she literally wants his body, so she can charge people to look at it after... Related StoriesAggravated Pimpin' Ain't EasyJury Finds for Rick Springfield in Buttocks-Assault CaseFrozen Guru Update
by Kevin on (#2Z0T)
I'm glad to see that The Smoking Gun's records are consistent with mine—we agree that this was the third known arrest for driving a Zamboni while intoxicated. I have a total of four Zamboni crimes, but one of them did... Related StoriesRide Something Dangerous Down a Hill TodayKirby Delauter, Sherbert DeluderSheriff: We Need Armored Vehicles to Intimidate People
by Kevin on (#2XT1)
It's probably easier, though, if you are the head of the International Monetary Fund. In what seems like a very French sort of case, Dominique Strauss-Kahn and 13 other people are on trial for allegedly organizing—well, not surprisingly, what they're... Related StoriesS.F. Cops Arrest Public Defender for Publicly DefendingPolice: Suspect Is White Male, Average Height & Build, Has Mouth, Two EyesAgain, Accused Taggers Should Reconsider Tagging the Courthouse
by Kevin on (#2XT2)
My source just happened across this and has no further details. No further details required, really. Whether this is how the defendant was known in the community, or just what the court clerks called him, is impossible to say. But... Related StoriesS.F. Cops Arrest Public Defender for Publicly DefendingCan I Use the Carpool Lane If I Have a Prisoner?Police: Suspect Is White Male, Average Height & Build, Has Mouth, Two Eyes
by Kevin on (#2XT3)
"Few statutes have proven as enigmatic as 18 U.S.C. § 924(c)," says the Tenth Circuit to kick off its opinion in United States v. Rentz. Hard to see what it's complaining about: (c) (1) (A) Except to the extent that... Related StoriesMUGABE SPOKESMAN: Even Jesus Would Have TrippedCan a Convicted Felon Serve in Congress?Pet Piercing Will Soon Be Illegal in New York
by Kevin on (#2XT4)
"Hey, guys, I think the judge is starting to lose patience with all the discovery disputes in this case." "Why do you say that?" Via Overlawyered, ABA Journal. Related StoriesTom & Jerry Go to CourtObjection: AnnoyingHarvard Grad Threatens Legal Action Over $4 Charge
by Kevin on (#2XT5)
After a month or so of consideration (although the holidays intervened, so probably more like a day), a Texas judge has ruled that Robert Oswald has the right to get his brother's coffin back. See "Who Owns Lee Harvey Oswald's...