The Register

Tim Cook moves in opposite dog’s home? Pigs will fly... Apple is moving into a shiny new HQ at the revamped Battersea Power Station in London - just as soon as developers have finished wrecking rebuilding the iconic Southside brick masterpiece.…

Oh yes, and keep the auditors happy When you get to a certain age, and you've been in the IT industry for enough years, you start to get an idea of what auditors are looking for when they descend on you and ask you pointed questions about your systems.…

Pity the poor reporter who had to shadow Mark Hurd Our attention has been drawn to the work of a plucky reporter Julie Bort from Business Insider, who spent a day shadowing Oracle CEO at its OpenWorld jamboree in San Francisco. Finally – a chance to see the real glamour behind the scenes with a top flight chief exec.…

Switches to licensing 'secure Android' and apps Here’s your chance to design your own BlackBerry. BlackBerry today ended its 17-year adventure as a phone-maker with CEO John Chen announcing “a new strategic direction focussed on licensing our secure device software and the BlackBerry brand.”…

In application development, build it in Promo Earlier this week we ran a live broadcast looking at how to build security into your application development process. You can watch it here.…

Virgin and Sky rated least moaned about BT has topped Ofcom's quarterly whinge list for the most moaned about fixed line broadband provider.…

Raspbian gets user interface makeover and Chromium browser Fruity low-cost computer the Raspberry Pi is constantly getting enhancements, and the latest is an update to its Raspbian Linux build, which has been given a makeover with a new desktop shell called PIXEL and a version of the Chromium browser.…

As Steve Jobs might say: You misunderstand 'design' Open Source Insider In all the years I have been using FOSS software, the most common complaint I've seen about FOSS software is that the "design" is "terrible", "laughable" or some witticism about forks and eyes.…

Europol: Cybercrims getting more devious Europol’s annual cyber-crime survey warns that the quality of spearphishing and other "CEO fraud" is continuing to improve and "cybercrime-as-a-service" means an ever larger group of fraudsters can easily commit online attacks.…

Back to the '80s Ignite Microsoft this week promised to increase desktop users’ productivity by bringing resizeable overlapping windows to Windows™ – a feature notably missing today. A spokesman also expressed hope that Mr Gorbachev’s new policy of “perestroika” would continue, bringing real benefits to Soviet citizens.…

Man vows to steer clear of outside dunnies, 'I'll hold on for dear life' An Aussie builder has endured the agony of being bitten on the todger by a redback spider for the second time in five months*.…

£80m infringement? £30m? £10m? Claimant bought patent for £160k two years ago British Gas has won a patent infringement claim brought against it by Smart-Tech, the holder of a certain smart meter patent. Had BG lost, it would have had to pay out tens of millions of pounds in royalties.…

CEO of Allen Institute of AI: Be realistic. Hype only hurts research Many speeches at AI conferences begin with AlphaGo, the Google-built AI that beat Lee Sedol - one of the highest ranked Go players in the world – to illustrate how far AI has progressed.…

Sky hooks, tartan paint ... U wot m8? Strange things are afoot among the developer team at Argos, it’s just not clear if an ill-judged lunchtime trip to the boozer, high jinx related to the recent £1.4bn takeover by Sainsbury’s or a rogue staffer are to blame.…

Get back to the data centre, stat

Know when to opt for wet abrasive blasting or Self Polishing Copolymer? Mad mags The Ministry of Defence's naval arm maintains a regular publication focused entirely on types and shades of paint. It is not a spoof – or if it is, someone's gone to some serious lengths on a windup.…

Help find not-spots Telecoms regulator Ofcom has written a network tracking Android app so the great British public can help it sniff out not-spots.…

So what exactly did AU$800m buy? An option for bits of Optus network, says nbn™ nbn™, the entity building and operating Australia's national broadband network (NBN) has announced it will overbuild part of the hybrid fibre-coax network it acquired from Optus.…

At least one department has no idea how much it's splurged Analysis If IT wasn't perceived to be such a boring topic by Joe Public, the amount the government still spends on expensive clunky technology would be viewed as a national scandal.…

Queued up to self-certify Internet giant Google has signed up to the Privacy Shield, a framework designed to facilitate the transfer of personal data between the EU and US by businesses.…

Yes, let computers off the leash with unsupervised learning Unsupervised learning is a problem Yann LeCun, Facebook’s AI guru, really wants to crack. It promises to lead researchers to a next generation of AI – one where machines have higher intelligence and can perceive the world and act accordingly – something we call common sense.…

Now available to all – and a 'breath of fresh air' says top Big Blue engineer Swift, the second-most-loved programming language by Stack Overflow's estimation, has showed up on IBM's BlueMix cloud platform, dressed for general availability.…

Raw materials will be open and multi-source While HP Inc is getting a lot of flack over its DRM lockdown on 2D printing consumables, in the 3D world the company wants to address that it won't be setting the prices on consumables.…

And you find it easy, it's through hard work – not a 'gift' Assume for the sake of argument that computer science grades are bimodal: there's a distinct group of students who excel at the subject, and then there's everyone else in another group.…

Yeah, it's self-certification. Give yourself a pat on your own back, Redmond Microsoft has issued a missive congratulating itself as the first global cloud service provider to get with the new EU Privacy Shield Framework agreed with the US, which must mean your data is safe in its hands, right?…

In which we remember technology history through branded tat Conference Couture A couple of weeks back we wrote about the plan to have Oracle's NetBeans Java IDE become an Apache project and in an attempt to get some perspective on the move asked friend of the Regand former OpenStack board member Tristan Goode what he thought.…

Try this workaround if you're frozen out Accounting software developer Sage has warned that the Windows 10 Anniversary Edition may break your Sage 50 installation.…

Server slingers, like models, it's OK to be DIMM Comment For generations of PowerEdge, ProLiant, UCS and other x86 servers, the future has been fairly simple: more powerful multi-core processors, more memory, more PCIe bandwidth and shrink the space and electricity needs.…

Herr Pirat, ist dieser Krieg The music industry has opened fire on audio-stream rippers.…

That's enough time to build a Cathedral, never mind a patch Software luminary Eric Raymond has written an update to his Pilot computer aided instruction language … 20 years since he last bothered looking at it.…

No mission to civilise, just cheaper downloads for cricket vids and family fun Google's decided that India needs its very own YouTube, so has cooked up something called “YouTube Go” that permits peer-to-peer video sharing.…

Cisco's already been sent to the gulag, now Microsoft's at risk of 'keep roubles in Russia' policy The city of Moscow has announced it's going to start ditching Microsoft, following a call by president Vladimir Putin for Russia to be more self-reliant, and is starting with an untried-at-scale e-mail system.…

There's a point to it, though Chinese boffins reckon they're the first capture text input to mobile devices using gestures sensed by commodity Wi-Fi devices.…

3.5mm audio jacks are in big trouble now as one cable to rule them all standard signed off The USB implementers forum has loosed “USB Audio Device Class 3.0” onto the breathlessly-waiting world.…

Thought-to-be-lifeless hell-ball actually has a rich inner life NASA’s MErcury Surface, Space ENvironment, GEochemistry, and Ranging (MESSENGER) craft has found evidence that Sol's innermost planet is tectonically active.…

Lizard also set to char Windows XP and Vista by ending support The Mozilla Foundation's Firefox development team has decided enough is enough and will stop supporting Windows XP and Vista in March 2017 and also bin Firefox OS.…

SELECT * from users where too_stupid_to_live=”YES” Two years after it first arrives for Linux and OS X, Facebook's "osquery" developer kit is now available for Windows.…

Standalone product to stay, but if you want it in Office 365, change your subscription Microsoft's rationalisation of enterprise messaging continues, with Redmond putting its Yammer Enterprise offering on the end-of-life list.…

Red Planet to be Elon-gated community-slash-graveyard SpaceX founder Elon Musk has laid out an audacious multibillion-dollar plan to send colonists to probably die on Mars.…

It's gonna spell bad news for all of us The host of the first presidential debate on Monday night, Hofstra University in New York, may have broken the law and could be in line for a huge fine.…

Eye-pee-vee-what? Rest of world responds The US government is entering the next stage of grief and loss over IPv6, asking companies to explain why they won't just move over to the new protocol.…

Enjoy the sounds of a thousand heads at Verizon slamming into a thousand desks Yahoo!'s embattled mail service was dealt another blow Tuesday when an outage hit users worldwide.…

Rights warriors demand reverse-ferret on printers snubbing unofficial cartridges The Electronic Freedom Foundation has written to HP Inc demanding it reverse its attempt to prevent any third-party ink cartridges or refilled cartridges from working in its Officejet Pro printers.…

Only one in ten demanding cash, we're told Just over three weeks after announcing a global Galaxy Note 7 recall, Samsung says six out of ten owners in the US and South Korea have returned their potentially exploding phablets.…

Shame the actual product still doesn't, though Microsoft is dangling a new Technical Preview of its Azure Stack in front of enterprise customers who want to run an applications and services platform across their on-premise private cloud and Redmond's globe-spanning Azure public cloud.…

Wall St-beating PaaS for Big Data firm touts crazy performance claims iguazio’s Data-as-a-Service Enterprise Data Cloud converges different storage access protocols and use cases behind an access abstraction layer and claims to out-perform Amazon and all-flash filers at lower costs.…

Another initiative targets developers of smart doorbells and other gizmos Linaro, the collaborative engineering effort focused around Linux for ARM-based devices, has spawned a new working group to develop open reference platforms for connected products, with an inevitable eye on the Internet of Things (IoT).…

One Content.ly to rule them all Metalogix has launched a content management platform for cloud work and collaboration.…

Alternative Networks issues third profit warning in a year. When was EU vote? The management team at Alternative Networks has played the Brexit card to explain why the London-listed IT and comms integrator has missed profit expectations for FY’16, which ends this month.…

19-year-old from Wales alleged to have demanded 596 bitcoins The fifth suspect to be arrested in connection with the megahack of TalkTalk last year has appeared in court today.…