The Register

Also tacks on update to version 3.3, you lucky people Red Hat’s on-premises application serving software has been given a rename from OpenShift Enterprise to OpenShift Container Platform, at the same time adding a slew of enhancements to improve scalability and security.…

He'll only serve two years, though A 23-year-old man has been sentenced to two years in prison for his part in a cyber attack on Yahoo! in 2012.…

Also plugs into Microsoft's Scale-Out File Server Hedvig has updated its software-defined storage to version 2.0 and is flying with a Universal Data Plane concept.…

Atos will not get trout in £4bn trough, neither will bunch of big PC brands A public sector contracts fat cat and some household PC brands are among the suppliers that failed to directly win a place on a mega pan-government hardware and software framework contract, according to a preliminary list seen by The Register.…

Tintri looking for sales ignition from Hyper-V support Hybrid and all-flash array vendor Tintri is expanding Hyper-V support, extending its existing VMware virtual machine-aware facilities.…

Overstated average viewing times by up to 80 per cent Facebook has been caught miscalculating viewing numbers for those watching ads on the site.…

Repeatedly outage-hit firm mumbles usual apologies Ongoing technical problems at gaffe-prone Plusnet are leaving customers unable to stream videos or play games.…

Wouldn't be about cutting energy costs for your 100+ bit barns, then? Microsoft is turning over a new leaf and going green. At least, that's what the firm’s chief environmental strategist has claimed as he sketched plans to make its data centres more sustainable and efficient.…

Latest wave of software-inspired bloodletting Cisco's UK staffers are beginning to feel the cold, sharp edge of the networking borg's axe, with up to 500 souls put at risk of redundancy across its entire local operation, multiple sources have confirmed to The Register.…

Deadline for awards entries extended We know some blazers take longer to warm up than others, so you’ll be pleased to know that the deadline for this year’s Tech Trailblazers Awards has been extended to October 6.…

And he would have got away with it too, if it wasn't for a simple scheduled audit A 49-year-old IT bloke from Essex has been sentenced to five years' imprisonment on two counts of fraud after his cunning plan to steal £450,000 from his employer was uncovered... almost immediately.…

‘You’d swear a horse did it,’ says appalled retailer A desperate Dublin shopkeeper has placed a toilet and a pile of his very competitvely priced bog roll on the pavement outside his shop after a series of visits from a loose boweled night owl.…

Reg poll fills C4's empty tent issue Two weeks after Channel 4’s £75m grab of Great British Bake Off from the BBC, the broadcaster has a big marquee but no filling.…

77 per cent feel guilty about ad blocking. Do you? A survey of people using ad-blocking has mixed news for publishers. Thirty per cent of users deploying adblocking software were less inclined to visit websites that forced them to “whitelist” the site.…

Whichever way you look it's all exactly the same, boffins confirm Scientists have confirmed that the universe is very likely the same in every direction, showing that the assumption of the universe being isotropic can be safely used in cosmology.…

Also told: ‘Don’t look at France... it’s a nightmare’ British universities are looking to deepen links with their continental counterparts or even open offshore campuses in order to maintain their EU ties.…

Must notify cops in advance of nookie 'as soon as practicable' A York judge has made some trifling tweaks to an order he imposed on a former IT contractor banning him from having sex unless he asked police 24 hours in advance.…

If you could all just gather round my laptop... Something for the Weekend, Sir? The man on stage is baffled. It was his big moment, a chance to show off his company’s proficiency and expertise, but now he’s being made to look useless.…

This one's in Cheltenham. Makes a change from hipsterville East London Plans are afoot in Westminster to burn even more taxpayers' cash by launching a new cyber-security startup accelerator in Cheltenham.…

Denial of service dross dead. A dozen flaws have been patched in OpenSSL, including one high severity hole that allows denial of service attacks.…

An Apple user with muscular dystrophy writes Opinion Apple describes their sexy new iPhone 7 and iOS 10 operating system as the most advanced yet. Well, they say that every year, don't they?…

Investigation shows staffer screw-up over leak Sources close to the investigation into how NSA surveillance tools and zero-day exploits ended up in the hands of hackers has found that the agency knew about the loss for three years but didn’t want anyone to know.…

JavaScript superset adds new features including non-nullable types and read-only properties Microsoft has released TypeScript 2.0, a major update to its typed version of JavaScript.…

'This is not the ISP of Richard Branson' insiders complain to El Reg Exclusive Virgin Media staff have voiced widespread discontent over its gobble by Liberty Global, with one describing their new corporate daddy as "faceless change drivers with no concern for the Virgin values," according to a Q&A with senior management this week seen by The Register.…

Reader jolted from the matrimonial bed in the dark tells of happy ending ON-CALL Thank Arioch it's Friday, because the working week is nearly over and we can ease you into it with another instalment of On-Call, our end-of-week trawl through readers' memories of awkward jobs.…

PHBs are applying the Ford Pinto formula to your data Whenever mega-hacks like the Yahoo! fiasco hit the news, inevitably the question gets asked as to why the IT security systems weren't good enough. The answer could be that it's not in a company's financial interest to be secure.…

HP and Samsung had goods stranded at sea by container line's bankruptcy Bankers have loaned US$100m to Korean shipping line Hanjin, likley saving Christmas tech companies, distributors and retailers.…

Numerical addresses too vague to be relied on, say activists A new white paper from the Electronic Frontier Foundation argues that police rely too heavily on IP addresses when conducting criminal investigations.…

Google's red screen of death marks half of malcious sites, McAfee only 11 per cent At least 15,769 WordPress websites - and probably more - have been compromised this year, half slipping past Google's Safe Browsing checks, says security researcher Daniel Cid.…

He'll get a year on ice to think about why that was such a bad idea to delay takeoff A Canadian idiot has been sentenced to a year behind bars after he was found guilty of calling in a bomb threat because he was running late for his flight.…

If a PC has just a couple of Word files, crooks figure it's a White-Hat's attack machine Malware writers are looking for the absence of documents to figure out which PCs are potential victims and which are virtual machines being used by white hats.…

Volskwagen also scored one of last night's Ig Nobel Prizes, for software-defined chemistry The annual Ig Nobel Prizes were handed out on Thursday night, as always “honoring achievements that make people laugh, then think”.…

Collaborates with Australia's Megaport on software-defined links between big bit barns Bit barn baron Digital Realty has decided it needs to be a player in the cloud connection caper. The company's therefore cooked up something called “Service Exchange” that offers software-defined links between its data centres and those operated by the likes of Amazon Web Services (AWS), Google, IBM SoftLayer and Microsoft's Azure, plus a host of niche players.…

Mega-breaches and spiking smartphones malware mean crims can crack you, yesterday Enterprises are almost universally open to intrusion attempts with stolen credentials, and are at increased risk from compromised smartphones thanks to a spike in device malware.…

Our policies are gonna be the best, ignore all the rest The US Department of Homeland Security has announced plans to make the internet-of-things just a bit more complicated – by trying to shove itself into the market with a new security framework.…

Cruz 'profoundly disappointed' as attempt to screw country fails The attempt to prevent the US government from moving control of the internet's technical functions to a technical body appears to be over.…

Rimini Street will have to foot $46m legal bill Oracle has been awarded $46.2m in its copyright battle with Rimini Street.…

Email addresses, phone numbers, hashed passwords, DoBs, security Q&As swiped Updated Hackers strongly believed to be state-sponsored swiped account records for 500 million Yahoo! webmail users. And who knew there were that many people using its email?…

Software Assurance licensing tags along Microsoft Ignite Software giant Microsoft is set to officially launch its next-generation server platform next week, but the firm faces growing competition from Linux as corporate customers shift more toward the cloud for IT services.…

Not so interested in lengthy subscription contracts Analysis Linux and open-source cloud supremo Red Hat is looking at adapting its licensing to please enterprise customers who want greater flexibility in the way they pay for software and services, including a possible pay-as-you-go model.…

Department of Justice cash will develop Minority Report-style tool using social media data Researchers from the University of Cardiff have been awarded more than $800,000 by the US Department of Justice to develop a pre-crime detection system.…

'We stand by our figures' says defiant company mouthpiece You might have noticed that El Reg has suggested Intel and Micron’s non-volatile XPoint memory claims are a tad overblown – for example here and here. Now Charlie Demerjian is giving Intel a good kicking in SemiAccurate, alleging the original claims were inaccurate and that “Intel’s Xpoint is pretty much broken”.…

Failure to declare was an 'admin error' she says The EU's former top corporate enforcer sat on a Bahamas-based business without declaring her interest.…

Screenscraper rebranded Google is rebranding its screen-scraping data guzzler Now On Tap, as it buries the entire Now initiative under the onslaught of its multiplatform chatty “Assistant” project.…

Psst, chief. You've probably not heard of backdoors – this is a seriously bad idea Metropolitan Police commissioner Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe wants the capital's cops to be able to remotely disable people's cars, he told the London Assembly's police and crime committee today.…

Here's a webpage of infographics. Now stop whinging, peons BT's Openreach is today releasing a service dashboard for customers in an attempt to be more transparent about its “performance issues” over areas such as missed appointments.…

Self-serving organization simply incapable of admitting fault Internet overseer ICANN has responded to allegations of mismanagement, opaque decision-making, and an institutional lack of accountability by launching a review.…

Survey shows a storage tidal wave coming our way Comment A new phase of disruption is hitting the performance data storage array market, giving new, old, startup and struggling all-flash array vendors a shot at making it big by using NVMe flash drives and NVMe Fabric-class connectivity to provide direct-attached SSD performance from external arrays.…

If MS bricked your box, MS oughta cough up, says consumer org Microsoft has been given a roasting by consumer group Which? over Windows 10 woes reported by users, with the organisation calling for compensation for those who found their PCs bricked after auto-updates.…

Performance, capacity, management and more reasons why they're great Comment Software-defined storage (SDS) is one of those terms that has been readily hijacked by vendors over the past few years.…