The Register

What? Millionaire supermodel Lily Luahana Cole says we should be pleased that her taxpayer-funded vanity website Impossible.com doesn’t make any money.…

Privacy watchdog says nein A German privacy regulator has told Facebook to stop collecting user information from WhatsApp.…

It came from the shed Small scale DAB radio was (quite literally) conceived in an Ofcom engineer’s garden shed in Brighton, on a Raspberry Pi, running a full open source stack, in his spare time. Four years later, Ofcom has given the thumbs up to small scale DAB after concluding that trials in 10 UK cities were judged to be a hit.…

Dodges small court claim over GWX nagware Microsoft has paid the relative of an Alzheimer’s patient for having to scrub his PC clean of Windows 10.…

Just as well it removed the 100 per cent uptime claim, then... Hosted desktop and cloud provider VESK has been hit by a major two-day login outage - the second such incident to occur at the London-based company in the last month.…

ODPi boasts of big enterprise names joining scheme The initiative created to standardise Hadoop applications has netted a handful of large enterprise vendors that have committed to its interoperability programme.…

Akamai CSO laments pisspoor security design practices Internet of Things devices are starting to pose a real threat to security for the sensible part of the web, Akamai's chief security officer Andy Ellis has told The Register.…

Tool aims to reduce machine-training time Baidu Research has launched DeepBench, a new tool for AI researchers interested in assessing deep learning operations across hardware platforms.…

Small savings for us, big moolah for gas 'n' 'leccy suppliers Smart meters will benefit suppliers nearly twice as much as consumers in terms of cost savings, according to an assessment by the late Department for Energy and Climate Change.…

Over 1,000 roles will go as peak smartphone approaches Lenovo has told around 1,100 staff they are surplus to requirements as it battens down the hatches for continued weakness in smartphone demand.…

Shifting deals 'like trying to push water uphill' quips reseller It is all change at the top of Fujitsu’s product business with UK sales director Kevin Matthews quitting after he struggled to get the revenue dial moving in the right direction, sources have told us.…

We're not even taking the piss A study from Michigan State University has found that a ride on a rollercoaster is just the ticket for those needing help in passing a kidney stone.…

Pro version accounts for growing share of business PC sales Microsoft’s self-installing Windows 10 operating system has reached the 400 million mark, the firm announced at its Ignite conference in Atlanta this week, up from the previous high of 350 million in August.…

Regulator listing Nutanix might not be saying when it’s going to IPO but the Nasdaq listing says it's expected to be September 30.…

More bad news for the Purple Palace A US Senator is calling on the Securities and Exchange Commission to join the queue to administer a kicking to Yahoo!.…

Blue you're in, purple you'll change. No colour? Update CV Shrinking Cisco Gold reseller Intrinsic Technology has put a bunch of staff across various departments at risk of redundancy amid an organisational restructure.…

The very finest of new tech babbling Comment Perv-magnet app Snapchat is no more. It has renamed itself Snap! as it wants to be a respectable media tech company. Specifically, it says “a camera company”.…

Going fast is great, but only if you have direction Hyperconvergenced computing offers some advantages for CIOs, but the advantages don’t exist in a vacuum. Companies have to predict what kind of environment their appliances will be running in, four or five years from now, and how they can prepare for it.…

Shiny new sponsor for 1,000mph motor One of China’s largest car makers, the Zhejiang Geely Holding Group, is now the main sponsor for Blighty’s attempt on the land speed record: the 1,000mph Bloodhound.…

Not about licence enforcement, but we'll have 'access to the info', it claims The BBC is going to require users to log in to access content on iPlayer from early 2017.…

Hacked low-powered cameras and internet-of-things things The world's largest distributed denial of service (DDoS) attack has been clocked from the same network of 152,463 compromised low-powered cameras and internet-of-things devices which punted a media outlet off the internet.…

History, philanthropy and the Victorian computing age Lou Gerstner, Ray Noorda, Lew Platt. Remember them? Ever even heard of them?…

Money 'not' wasted – claim Exclusive NHS England spent nearly £8m on its controversial care.data programme before scrapping it earlier this year, El Reg can reveal.…

Gov.UK missing out on the real value? We're shocked, we tell you... Shocked! Analysis It is a truth universally acknowledged that executives in the financial sector are capable of making the most exciting innovations boring, and in this respect their approach to the blockchain has been exemplary.…

Microsoft's helping you move to per-core pricing and making Azure more attractive too Windows Server 2016 has finally been shoved out the door today, albeit only for evaluation purposes. Which is a very good thing because the software will cost a lot of users more than they paid for Windows Server 2012, especially if they're slow to talk to Microsoft about their upgrade.…

Just about every content security policy does it wrong Google has spent more than US$1.2 million (£920,400, A$1.6 million) in the last two years paying researchers for reporting cross-site scripting (XSS) attacks and has kicked off an effort to help crush the threat.…

Project Springfield offers fuzzing, which isn't nearly as titillating as it sounds Ignite Microsoft's conviction that "fuzzing in the cloud will revolutionize security testing," voiced in a research paper six years ago, has taken form with the debut of Project Springfield: an Azure-based service for identifying software flaws by automatically subjecting the code to bad input.…

Dead-flesh keyboard not included Ageing fans of 1980s home computer games will soon be able to get their hands on Sir Clive Sinclair’s rebooted ZX Spectrum device, which is now set to be launched in October and available just in time for Christmas.…

Cross-border Kosovan cuffing leads to long stretch inside A student who hacked into corporate servers to build a kill list for medieval terror bastards Daesh has been sentenced to 20 years in prison after admitting his guilt.…

Certs now the same for end-users and partners, but re-certification can now be annual, Microsoft has “streamlined” its Certified Solutions Expert (MCSE) and Developer (MCSD) certifications and will require holders to sit exams annually to stay current.…

'Do you know who I am?' silly woman asks stunned court Heidi Powell wants her namesake dot-com and she's suing to get it.…

A pretty pile of penny coins, a train set and more twee crap vie for this year's bonkers art gong A giant sculpture of a human arse, £20,000 in one-pence coins, and an off-the-shelf model train are some of the exhibits competing for this year's Turner Prize.…

Santa doesn't put new disks down the chimney On-Call The On-Call inbox is full to overflowing, so we felt like letting another reader's tale of late-night weirdness into the wild.…

Backdating SHA-1 certs is just not on Mozilla wants to kick Chinese certificate authority (CA) WoSign out of its trust program.…

Ruskie space program doc used as spear phish payload. Suspected Russian hackers fingered for hacking the United States Democratic National Committee (DNC) have brewed a trojan targeting Mac OS X machines in the aerospace sector, says Palo Alto researcher Ryan Olson.…

RFC identifies handy spot for RTT, packet loss metrics A proposal at the Internet Engineering Task Force suggests network admins can use the venerable STUN protocol to help them pick the best path across IP networks.…

Says 'someone weighing 400 pounds' could be DNC hacker in first presidential debate United States presidential candidate Donald Trump has questioned whether the Democratic National Committee was hacked by Russia, advancing theories that China or “someone sitting on their bed who weighs 400 pounds” may have pulled off the hack that saw numerous campaign documents leaked to the world.…

Good ol' boys' club gives jobs to good ol' boys, lawsuit says America's favourite Big Brother-backed unicorn, Palantir Technologies, is being sued by the US Department of Labor (DoL) for alleged discrimination against Asian job applicants.…

Don't laugh. Epson printer/fax machines dating back to 1999 have this problem Party like it's 1999, phreakers: a bug in Epson multifunction printer firmware creates a vector to networks that don't have their own Internet connection.…

Recursion (n): See recursion Sysadmins and devs, fresh from a weekend spoiled by last week's OpenSSL emergency patch, have another emergency patch to install.…

Founder's funding of Trump trolls sparks backlash A number of game developers have decided to end their support of the Oculus virtual reality headset over reports that its founder Palmer Luckey is actively funding "Trump trolls."…

What? It's what NASA said - what are you thinking of? Pics and video Images from the Hubble Space Telescope of Jupiter's most intriguing moon, Europa, appear to show plumes of water being ejected from the surface into space.…

Cops cuff, grill chap after tab tapped with offer of saucy pics for sale A man in Northamptonshire, UK, has been quizzed by cops investigating attempts by a hacker to sell the private photographs of Pippa Middleton – the sister to the Duchess of Cambridge.…

Gear said to be still in development Albeit late to market, NetApp is developing a hyper-converged infrastructure product, The Register has learned.…

New authentication for PCs gives passwords the middle finger Lenovo, Intel and others are aiming to make online payments more secure by bringing the Fast Identity Online (FIDO) biometric authentication standard to PCs.…

Nowt wrong with a good old HDD Storage Architect Recently I was asked to review a document that used as a reference a piece of work from Google (PDF) which talked about the need to relax the resiliency levels of hard drives and SSDs.…

Containers, containers, containers, containers, says Azure CTO (well, sort of) Ignite Microsoft announced the release of Windows Server 2016 and System Center 2016 at its Ignite event in Atlanta. The commercially supported edition of the Docker engine is included at no extra cost.…

We have proof. Or a Photoshop. You decide China’s shopping spree of premium Western brands continues and not just footballers. It’s snapping up technology brands, too - but with these brands some finesse is required.…

Turns to Intel Altera FPGAs IGNITE Microsoft is using Intel Altera Field Programmable Gate Arrays (FPGA) chips to speed up Azure services, according to an announcement at the Ignite event under way in Atlanta.…

Mountain View's motor not to blame, insists Mountain View spokesman A Lexus fitted with Google's self-driving car tech was hit by a non-autonomous van that is said to have run a red light at a junction, according to local reports.…