The Register

How was this allowed to happen? Ah right, food delivery app publicity stunt Scotland is brimming with valuable cultural exports. Among them, whacking wee baws doon a field, offal stuffed in offal, men's skirts, and deep-frying things that have no business being deep-fried.…

Which is good because that's why the audio editing software is so popular Veteran audio editor Audacity has been purchased by Muse Group, although its new management has pledged to keep the platform free and open source.…

76.23kWh per-transaction footprint... WTF, people? In the art world this spring, there's just one phrase on everyone's facemasks: the non-fungible token (NFT). When artist Mike Winkelman sold a JPG embedded into a cryptocurrency token for $69m in Ether (he pocketed $53m of it) jaws hit floors. But what is an NFT, exactly, and should you care, or just roll your eyes and go about your business?…

Non-quoted string vest? Don't mind if we do Column Enterprise IT is about solving problems, but for those who work in the field there's an index of irony in that statement. The further you go towards sales and marketing, the more problems are solved; the further towards the engine room of making this stuff work, the more problems appear.…

Hardware supporting ageing system is mired in performance issues East Sussex County Council is set to be at least six months late in appointing a vendor to replace its ageing R/3 SAP system, which is showing its age and struggling with performance issues.…

Find out at the Anywhere Workspace Event Promo The last year has blown apart any pretence of having a perimeter behind which you can corral your users, keeping them both focused on the job and secure.…

Samsung in turn asks for access to clean 'leccy at high-level love-in A high-level meeting between the Vietnamese government and Samsung has seen each party make a mutually beneficial request of the other, highlighting the success of the relationship - and the fact that both see room for improvement.…

Promises personalised services, software-driven networks, all the fun of an SAP migration to Google cloud Vodafone has signed up for another six years of fun with Google and its cloud.…

Tellie-maker Skyworth says it was duped by analytics service Chinese TV-maker Skyworth has admitted that some of its Android-powered smart televisions shared more data than it agreed to send to a third-party organisation.…

2FA hasn’t kept pace with registration and real-world biometric capture The Philippines’ attempt to expand its national ID program has stumbled thanks to scaling issues with its two-factor authentication tools.…

Blue Origin, Dynetics cry foul NASA’s $2.89bn contract awarded to SpaceX for its Starship rocket to send the first American woman and next man to the Moon has been put on ice after SpaceX’s competitors complained to the US Government Accountability Office.…

Plus: Micro-op CPU caches abused to leak data, and more In Brief Apple on Monday patched security flaws in its software said to have been exploited in the wild by miscreants to hijack gear.…

Safari savaged for failing behind in web APIs Epic Games and Apple faced off in an Oakland, California, courtroom on Monday to resolve the gaming giant's antitrust claim that Apple's App Store represents an illegal monopoly.…

We know the pandemic has been tough on relationships but... Bill Gates has announced his marriage has suffered a BSoD – the Blue Screen of Divorce – after 27 years with his partner Melinda.…

They! may! take! the! exclamation! point! but! they! will! never! take! our! headlines! Verizon has sold its media division, including the early internet portals Yahoo! and AOL, to Apollo Global Management, a private equity fund, for $5bn, it announced on Monday.…

Pay-to-play bungs required to do business with video-streaming giant Michael Kail, former veep of IT Operations at Netflix, was convicted on Friday on 28 counts of wire fraud, mail fraud, and money laundering after a federal jury found that he took advantage of his position to demand bribes from vendors.…

Join us and Nutanix online this week and find out why Webcast A year of pandemic has forced momentous changes on how we work and the technology we use to support this.…

Vehicle to enter 'operations demonstration phase'. Meanwhile SpaceX’s first crew return mission also sticks the landing NASA is so pleased with the Ingenuity Mars Helicopter's performance that it will devise a new “operations demonstration phase” in which the craft will be tasked with “exploring how aerial scouting and other functions could benefit future exploration of Mars and other worlds.”…

When contractors go bored: Stuffing the timesheet with shenanigans Who, Me? Start your week the right way, with a Who, Me? reader confession and an improvement made to some bodice-ripping fiction.…

It’s a cloudy world and Dell has now offloaded almost all its software assets Dell has announced the sale of its Boomi Integration Platform as a Service (iPaaS) outfit.…

Berkshire Hathaway’s annual Q&A also smashed Robinhood, tweaked Elon Musk, fawned over Apple Bitcoin is "disgusting and contrary to the interests of civilization" according to Charlie Munger, vice-chair of holding company Berkshire Hathaway.…

Alibaba, Tencent and Baidu among those in strife China says it has identified 33 apps that illegally collect information not necessary to their services, and has given their operators ten days to perform “rectification”.…

Plus: Deepfake satellite images and Google fails to cite relevant research in its own large language model paper In brief An AI system has bested nearly 1,300 human competitors in the annual American Crossword Puzzle Tournament to achieve the top score.…

You sure have to press 'A' a lot The RPG Greetings, traveller, and welcome back to The Register Plays Games, our monthly gaming column. 2021 continues to move slowly for the world's biggest entertainment industry and while we did ask Square Enix for a copy of new looter-shooter Outriders, they blanked us. So instead we are picking up a style of game Square is better known for – Octopath Traveler, originally a Nintendo Switch exclusive now on PC.…

Plus: Workers axed at '$4bn' Patreon, techies walk away from Basecamp The Lambda School, an online coding bootcamp based in San Francisco, on Thursday said it will lay off 65 employees, about a third of the workforce.…

Digidog will be returned to its Boston Dynamics owners The New York Police Department has ended its $94,000 contract testing a robot canine named Digidog and is returning it to its makers, Boston Dynamics, after facing harsh criticism from residents and top politicians.…

'If you think age is an advantage in this job, you are mistaken' A former Intel engineer, laid off in 2015, has sued the chipmaker claiming that he was dismissed because of his age.…

The spotty 13-year old app shack finally growing up? Better late than never Google is warning developers it won’t allow misleading or hyperbolic app descriptions by year-end, in an attempt to make the world’s biggest app bazaar feel less like the feedback section of an eBay profile.…

Sometimes the love of ICE and UK.gov is not enough CEO and co-founder of controversial AI and data analytics firm Palantir Alexander Karp raked in a total of $1.10bn following the company’s September IPO, filings have revealed.…

Two words: Digital transformation. Stop gagging. It's about how we learned to love the cloud Customers' infrastructure cloud spending splurge smashed through the $40bn barrier globally for Q1 as business continue to digitise processes and workflows - with Amazon Web Services, Microsoft and Google the major recipients of the cash.…

Act gives government powers to scrutinise, alter, and block transactions where there is a risk to national security In a move akin to calling the fire brigade after your house has burned down, the UK government today announced the passage of a bill that would afford it powers to intervene in potentially hostile direct investment.…

Plus: Anti-Chocolate Factory campaign says it'll collect all the class-action damages, thank you A barrister for the Information Commissioner's Office hinted the regulator would stop enforcing the law on data breaches if the Supreme Court sides with Google in a case about class-action lawsuits.…

AI infosec start-up avoids same opening day peril as Deliveroo British AI-powered security startup Darktrace has enjoyed a bumper IPO Friday as its shares climbed 40 per cent on its London Stock Exchange debut.…

If found guilty, Cupertino could have to cough over $27bn The European Commission today said it believes Apple has abused its absolute control of app distribution on iOS, resulting in the disadvantage of third-party streaming services that compete with Apple Music.…

Send jobs in - based anywhere in the world - and we'll publish them for free Job Alert The Register is publishing free job ads to help keep tech professionals in gainful employment during Global Pandemic V3.0.…

Confirmation happened at pace. Shame the same can't be said for Artemis Former US Senator Bill Nelson has been confirmed as NASA administrator with breath-taking speed (compared to his predecessor).…

'We accept full responsibility for past conduct,' says German software giant SAP has agreed to pay penalties of $8m for providing Iranian users with access to software upgrades, patches and cloud services in breach of US sanctions laws.…

Violet, you're turning ... to our digital workflows! Trust enterprise software CEO Bill McDermott to pick the right man to lead his marketing. Megalomaniac, eccentric, prone to linguistic sleight of hand and always promising the impossible, Willy Wonka has been selected by ServiceNow as the figurehead of its latest campaign.…

And it was poorly secured, allowing someone to analyze players' private fantasies AI Dungeon, which uses OpenAI’s GPT-3 to create online text adventures with players, has a habit of acting out sexual encounters with not just fictional adults but also children, prompting the developer to add a content filter.…

Think we already made a Stockholm syndrome joke the other day so... Bork!Bork!Bork! Scandi noir may have been all the rage in recent years, but what of Swedish signage? It is time for... Scandi Bork.…

The Zoom meeting I’m missing is already miles away Something for the Weekend, Sir? "Do you know who I am?"…

NASA chose not to re-install OS and live with a 15 percent failure rate Software issues prevented the fourth scheduled flight of NASA's Mars Ingenuity helicopter.…

Goodbye, Mr Chips On Call There are few things worse than when someone nicks your chips, be they of the potato or silicon variety as our latest delve into the annals of On Call reveals.…

Big Blue also slurps Turbonomic to give hybrid clouds an injection of AI automation IBM has made some interesting container-and-hybrid-cloud-centric moves.…

Vows to make safe C++-alike 'a mainstream language of choice' as hundreds of devs wield it Video Facebook is joining the Rust Foundation at its highest member level – and vowed to help make Rust "a mainstream language of choice for systems programming and beyond.”…

Cloud revenues growing by over 30 per cent, bring in 13 per cent of all Bezos bucks Amazon.com recorded $108.5bn in sales for the first quarter of its 2021 financial year, $13.5bn of which came from its Amazon Web Services (AWS) operation.…

Chaebol's Q1 revenue reaches new all-time high of US$59bn Samsung has vowed to maximize its silicon production by starting mass production of 5nm and 7nm products at its Pyeongtaek production line in the second half of 2021.…

Virtzilla also admits to essentially merging Apple silicon efforts with ESXi on Arm VMware has revealed that surging second wave of COVID-19 infections in India has impacted at least one of its products.…

By eight they should be telling you not to upload geo-tagged photos of them in school uniform Australia has decided that six-year-old children need education on cyber-security, even as it removes other material from the national curriculum.…

Tencent, ByteDance, pals invited to meeting without coffee over ‘disorderly expansion of capital’ China has again moved to ensure its web giants don’t prove too disruptive to its economy, hauling 13 of them in for “supervision interviews” with a panel of regulators.…