The Register

WAKE UP, SHEEPLE! You'd think the new-age hippies behind a shop called "Hemp in Avalon" would be a bit more groovy about the state we find ourselves in – but no, ads run by the biz came straight outta unhinged conspiracyville.…

But it's hacks all the way down You've heard the phrase "can it run Crysis?" Few have asked, however, "can it run Minecraft?"…

Bus stop / Bus goes / What's crashed? / Windows Bork!Bork!Bork! A welcome return for an old favourite in today's serving of Bork. No matter how oddly shaped the screen, Windows will always find a way to throw up an error.…

If you're mixing that up with File System Replication, maybe it is indeed time Hardworking vultures trying to think up new backronyms for TITSUP aren't alone judging by Microsoft's Windows Server Active Directory documentation.…

Gawd bless us, every one! TalkTalk Business customers (at least those using the talktalkbusiness.net email domain) opened the second door of their advent calendars this morning and were rewarded with... an extension to the switch-off date.…

With Trump on the way out, 2021 is going to be digital levy a-go-go time Like it or not, tech giants are all going to face sizable tax bills starting next year. Probably.…

Other Mac hosts are rather cheaper. And Azure has had cloudy Macs for months. But AWS still has a play here If you plan to use one of Amazon Web Services’ new bare-metal Mac instances in its cloud for more than 77 days a year, you may be better off just buying the Mac Mini instead.…

New customs software that digitises internal trade was just the beginning The European Union and the Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) trading bloc have vowed to intensify their digital trade and connectivity links in ways that could rival the corresponding parts of China’s economic Belt and Road Initiative.…

The plan is to make one pilot more potent by having drones follow their lead Boeing has announced successful tests of “teaming” technology that sees autonomous aircraft fly together while sharing information.…

Open source emulator wishes you a merry VM every day between now and Christmas Open source type 2 hypervisor QEMU has brought back its advent calendar.…

Super Cali goes ballistic, process was atrocious A judge in northern California has struck down the Trump administration’s latest effort to put restrictions on H-1B work visas, making plain his irritation that the case is a virtual repeat of a previous effort that was also struck down.…

Houston, we had a problem... in San Jose HPE on Tuesday announced plans to relocate its corporate headquarters from San Jose, California, to Houston, Texas.…

_If_ shareholders like the somewhat small-ish premium offered Salesforce has signed a definitive agreement to buy Slack for $27.7bn in cash and stock, and plans to make the collaboration tool the interface for Salesforce Customer 360, the system it sells to create a single customer ID and profiles.…

And we're only on week one of December's re:invent conference re:Invent Amazon Web Services CEO Andy Jassy opened the rent-a-processor biz's re:Invent conference on Tuesday by touching on cheerful topics like disease and death.…

Hitesh Patel also faces $9m payback for defrauding thousands of US citizens The man who headed an international criminal call center racket that conned Americans into handing over tens of millions of dollars in the belief they were being chased for money by the US government has been jailed for 20 years.…

Redmond rips out usernames, says it will focus on customer orgs, not staffers If you heard a strange noise coming from Redmond today, it was the sound of some rapid back-pedaling regarding the Productivity Score feature in its Microsoft 365 cloud platform.…

Mission aims to bring home 2kg of stones and soil from up to 2m down China's Chang'e-5 probe has successfully landed on the Moon following its separation and descent from a spacecraft in lunar orbit.…

Flagships are falling out of favour while demand for cheap devices swells Samsung is reportedly planning to discontinue its Galaxy Note line of phablets next year as hard-pressed smartphone buyers continue to switch from high-end flagship devices to more affordable products.…

Star of science and celluloid is no more That's that then. The Arecibo Observatory appears to have been destroyed with the collapse of the platform previously suspended above the giant dish.…

Though COVID-19 vaccine coming, video chat is here to stay, claims chief bean counter Lockdown luvvie Zoom has reported a bumper set of Q3 financials – although a rise in the number of free users dampened gross profit margins.…

Various enhancements but merging still a big no-no The OpenZFS project, formerly called ZFS on Linux, has released version 2.0.0 with major new features. The previous release was version 0.86 in October. Both Linux and FreeBSD are supported.…

Speech patterns consistent with boredom?! Minus 10 points! The slightly creepy "Productivity Score" may not be all that's in store for Microsoft 365 users, judging by a trawl of Redmond's patents.…

Meanwhile, landlord reckons he's found a loophole in coronavirus restrictions by naming beer 'Substantial Meal' Ideally, government regulations should not be open to interpretation, but the UK's wishy-washy response to the coronavirus pandemic has only left people scratching their heads – or, worse, thinking of ways they can bend the rules.…

Windows Feature Experience Pack attempts to make beast more modular The modularisation of Windows 10 continued this week as Microsoft popped a batch of potentially standalone components into a seperate Windows Feature Experience Pack.…

America's outdated Computer Fraud and Abuse Act gets a roasting Analysis There’s a growing problem with computer laws written in the late 1980s and early 1990s. They were produced just as PCs began entering widespread personal usage but they failed to account for what electronic devices would soon be used for most of the time: accessing information over the internet.…

Blank share certificates, passport scans, you name it Exclusive A Cayman Islands-based investment fund has exposed its entire backups to the internet after failing to properly configure a secure Microsoft Azure blob.…

Or is it time to get SASE? Webcast After more than six months, the shine is wearing off working from home – not just for the workers, but for the security teams who need to rethink pretty much everything about how to protect them and their companies.…

Volunteers sought to join the COVID-ravaged jobs market IBM has revealed that hundreds of UK staff working in the Global Technology Services division will be in line for the chop under the latest wave of redundancy action.…

The Reg talks to Software Engineering veep Sha Ma Interview GitHub has described efforts to break down its monolithic application architecture into microservices – and revealed that it still runs some services on AWS, even after the 2018 acquisition by Microsoft.…

Though these days it's the darling of the tech shopping cart British chip designer Arm turned 30 last Friday. This is an auspicious occasion. The microprocessor technology drafted by this Cambridge-headquartered outfit forms the basis of nearly all smartphones and tablets in circulation, dominates the Internet-of-Things and embedded electronics space, and is appearing in an increasing number of computers, in the shape of laptops and server gear.…

Big Red said it was picked for its 'superior' cloud, but marketing minutiae and conference-eve thunder stealing have intruded Amazon Web Services has announced it is now videoconferencing darling Zoom’s “preferred” cloud.…

Boffins see more interference with domain-name look-up system, wonder why DNSSEC is taking so long Boffins from the University of Southern California's Information Sciences Institute have crunched six years and four months of data, and found that DNS spoofing, while uncommon, has doubled during that time.…

The satellites are up there, Qualcomm has silicon on the ground, government wants more India’s tech self-sufficiency drive has extended into satellite navigation, as the nation seeks manufacturers to help drive adoption of its own system.…

Mac Minis in the cloud, still with the SmartNIC-powered Nitro isolation subsystem AWS has announced that it is now offering bare-metal Macs in its cloud.…

Wobbly NAS tended by Fujitsu crashed trading – and automatic failover failed Miyahara Koichiro, the CEO of the Tokyo Stock Exchange (TSE), has resigned in the wake of its October outage. The exchange’s operator, Japan Exchange Group, accepted his request to stand down.…

We don't need no education... IT department may need some Students in Baltimore, Maryland, were on Sunday warned against connecting their Windows PCs to the county’s public school IT system after it was hit by ransomware.…

Lab hopes improved tool will be used to craft new medicines faster DeepMind says its AlphaFold machine-learning software can now rapidly predict the structure of proteins with high accuracy, and could one day help us develop drugs faster.…

Someone needs to make a 'Best viewed with anything but IE' badge for websites As of today, the Microsoft Teams web app no longer supports Internet Explorer 11, as the Windows giant foretold in August.…

FCC boss tells telco industry he's available for lobbying work in January Analysis FCC head Ajit Pai has announced he will step down on Inauguration Day in January, bringing an end to a tumultuous four-year reign in charge of the US telecoms regulator.…

New API has same name but little integration with existing service AWS has added a messaging service to its Chime SDK, used by developers to build real-time conferencing features into applications.…

Chang'e-5 set for a lunar touchdown, Japan aims for Australia An exciting week is in the offing for space fans as China's Chang'e 5 prepares for a lunar landing and Japan's Hayabusa2 is set to return its precious cargo to Earth.…

Join us to learn how to save execs from themselves Webcast You have to hand it to the cyber-criminals. They really know how to mix a perfectly balanced cocktail of software engineering and human insight when it comes to crafting the perfect spear-phishing attack.…

Plus: Insider fixes and support extensions for old versions of Win 10 In Brief An odd thing has happened in the Windows 10 market-share figures published by ad slinger Ad Duplex. While the most recent release, the October 2020 Update (aka 20H2), crept closer to double digits, an older version also registered a gain.…

We said they were water-resistant, counters iGiant, as unhappy customers return from the beach The Italian competition authority (AGCM, or Autorità Garante della Concorrenza e del Mercato) has fined Apple €10m (£8.97m/ $12m) over allegations it misled customers about the waterproofing qualities of its iMobes.…

Healthy block work paves the way IBM says it has managed to coax TLC-class endurance and performance from cheaper QLC flash chips, with customers of the company's FlashSystem 9200 all-flash arrays getting the benefits.…

Nothing from Chinese bogeyman allowed in core network by early 2023 The UK's Ministry of Fun* has published its roadmap for the removal of so-called high-risk vendors from UK telecoms networks as part of the second parliamentary reading of the Telecoms Security Bill.…

Legacy Business accounts to be axed from 4 January 2021 There is an early Christmas present for customers of TalkTalk Business as the company prepares to swing the axe on a legacy email service.…

What a spoon Infamous spoon-wrecking genius Uri Geller has lifted a 20-year ban on Nintendo from publishing Pokémon trading cards he claimed appropriated his likeness.…

Around 30% of premium notebooks sent by plane during pandemic, expect price rises on devices that are available to buy in January PC makers will be forced to compete for air freight space toward the end of this year as vaccines for COVID-19 are distributed around the world, both Dell and HP have warned.…

You didn't want fries with that, did you? Bork!Bork!Bork! Welcome to another in our series of digital signage behaving poorly. Today, the revelation through the medium of Windows that "chips" is, of course, the correct word for delicious bits of fried potato.…