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He might have evaded the paddleboard, but not the whole flotilla. Related StoriesBarge Captains Caught After What You Might Call “Chases”Houston Water Escape: Another Exception That Proves the Rule?Naked Fugitive Found in Croc-Infested Swamp
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Lowering the Bar
| Link | https://www.loweringthebar.net/ |
| Feed | http://feeds.feedblitz.com/loweringthebar |
| Updated | 2025-04-03 12:01 |
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If printed on letter-sized paper, just to be clear. Related StoriesLawyer Apologizes for Putting Judge Under SurveillanceKraken-Releasing Lawyers Face Tough Questions in Federal CourtLawyer Who Said Disbarment Would Be “an Honor” Has Finally Been Honored
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Will "Article 61 of the Magna Carta" be the right answer this time? I wonder! Related StoriesYour Honor, I Direct You to Article 61 of the Magna CartaCourt Rejects Alleged Iguana-Killer's “Stand Your Ground” DefenseMan Claims to Be Four Kinds of Federal Agent During Single Traffic Stop
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He will also have to sell the Panzer, his 88mm anti-aircraft gun, and various other Nazi knickknacks. Related StoriesCourt Rules Bread Does Not Meet Definition of Bread
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"You are not known as deceased," said the IRS, but she also was not known as alive. Related StoriesMan Says He Can't Come to the Office Because He Gets More Done at Home as Lord VishnuStruck by Turtle, Initial EncounterCan You Sue a Dead Person?
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In this edition: how not to make a great impression on the jury, more sovereign-citizen nonsense, a ruling involving the outer continental shelf, and some human-hamster-wheel advice. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #145Assorted Stupidity #144Assorted Stupidity #143
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Well, he's a lawyer for now, anyway. Related StoriesLawyer Who Said Disbarment Would Be “an Honor” Has Finally Been HonoredLawyer Whose Pants Caught Fire Is Still a Hot MessDisbarment for Lawyer Caught With Zipper Down
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Such as: "Did any of you actually talk to these witnesses?" (Hint: they had not.) Related StoriesTrump Legal Team's Record So Far: Bad“Motion to Declare Trump Victorious” Filed in PennsylvaniaLeader's Right to Take Office Questioned
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There might or might not be a sequel, but if there is, I'll watch it. Related StoriesIn Blatant Power Grab, D.C. Circuit Tells Lawyers to Stop Using GaramondA Four-Thousand-Word SentenceJudge Deploys Rumpelstiltskin Metaphor for Sixth Time
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Just 38 states (and maybe a few territories) to go. Related StoriesMassachusetts Considering Official DinosaurOfficial State Crap: Hawaii
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Also the statue of the Great Gazoo. Related StoriesIn Blatant Power Grab, D.C. Circuit Tells Lawyers to Stop Using GaramondIt Is No Longer a Crime to Impersonate Smokey BearNeighbor Who Griped About Property Line Ends Up With Half a Garage
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Including F-bombs, at least on these facts. Related StoriesThe Middle Finger and the LawNope, Twitter Isn't Violating the First AmendmentIn Blatant Power Grab, D.C. Circuit Tells Lawyers to Stop Using Garamond
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Very close. Related StoriesPlaintiff's “Wide-Ranging” Demands: $32 Trillion, Audience With Queen, Swamp CleaningSuit on Behalf of “Donard J. Trump” DismissedLook Who's Back, Now Filing Lawsuits on Behalf of “Donard J. Trump”
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In this edition: everyone makes mistakes; the Ninth Circuit hates Star Wars; Kim Kardashian fails the bar; and a man is blamed for saving his duck. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #144Assorted Stupidity #143Assorted Stupidity #142
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Not a great legal argument, and the surveillance video apparently undermines it as well. Related StoriesMan Claims to Be Four Kinds of Federal Agent During Single Traffic Stop“Ludicrous” Defenses Rejected in Twisted Sister Copyright Case“Is That a Rocket Launcher?”—Criminal Lawyer Reacts
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Still no chanting. Too dangerous. Related StoriesAlabama Still Hasn't Lifted Its Yoga BanOklahoma Legislator Proposes Big Foot Hunting SeasonIt Is No Longer a Crime to Impersonate Smokey Bear
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Sounds to me like Lord Vishnu isn't willing to wear a mask during the pandemic. Related StoriesFake-Your-Own-Kidnapping Ploy Fails AgainLawyer Whose Pants Caught Fire Is Still a Hot MessBeware of Fez-Wearers Making Bogus Demands
We can't say for sure he isn't a CIA agent, but the other claims didn't check out. Related StoriesCourt Rejects Alleged Iguana-Killer's “Stand Your Ground” Defense“Ludicrous” Defenses Rejected in Twisted Sister Copyright CaseMan Charged With Driving Stolen Car Appears for Zoom Hearing From Inside Another Stolen Car
They weren't gonna take it, and as it turned out, they didn't have to. Related StoriesCourt Rejects Alleged Iguana-Killer's “Stand Your Ground” DefenseMan Claims to Be Four Kinds of Federal Agent During Single Traffic StopBeware of Fez-Wearers Making Bogus Demands
Also a full-body MRI, although that part was actually reasonable. Related StoriesSuit on Behalf of “Donard J. Trump” DismissedLook Who's Back, Now Filing Lawsuits on Behalf of “Donard J. Trump”Trump Legal Team's Record So Far: Bad
I wouldn't call them that, but you might. Related StoriesHouston Water Escape: Another Exception That Proves the Rule?Woman Charged With Felony for Failing to Return Sabrina the Teenage WitchA Farewell to Madoff
In this edition: a legal-ethics update, a fairly crazy West Virginia case, and a reminder that only in Monopoly will there be a bank error in your favor. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #143Assorted Stupidity #142Assorted Stupidity #141
She rented it when movies were stored as magnetic data in cassettes known as "VHS." Related StoriesBarge Captains Caught After What You Might Call “Chases”A Farewell to MadoffAlleged Arsonists Say They Set Fires to Get Rid of Snakes
One of the few examples of a W59.22XA you're likely to see.
And it worked. Related StoriesSaudi Divorce Rate Spikes During Lockdown; Wives Reportedly Learning of “Secret Marriages”
He was the best in the world at something, but unfortunately, it was fraud. Related StoriesAlleged Arsonists Say They Set Fires to Get Rid of SnakesHouston Water Escape: Another Exception That Proves the Rule?Moms Arrested for Hacking Cheerleading and Homecoming-Queen Competitions
At long last, we have a comprehensive answer to this important question. Related StoriesOklahoma Legislator Proposes Big Foot Hunting SeasonDoes the Eighth Amendment's Excessive Fines Clause Apply to Parking-Meter Violations?Can You Sue a Dead Person?
He has another Zoom hearing next week, so maybe he will keep the streak alive. Related StoriesZoom Hearing Ends When Defendant Turns Out to Be in Alleged Victim's ApartmentNaked Fugitive Found in Croc-Infested SwampProsecutors* Try to Drop Charges Against Themselves
It also doesn't allow "chanting" in public schools, just so you know. Related StoriesCity Plans to Call Off Its 13-Year War on Saggy Pants
Not clear yet whether it worked. Related StoriesHouston Water Escape: Another Exception That Proves the Rule?Moms Arrested for Hacking Cheerleading and Homecoming-Queen CompetitionsFake-Your-Own-Kidnapping Ploy Fails Again
It's a little surprising the process took four years in this case. Related StoriesLawyer Whose Pants Caught Fire Is Still a Hot MessDisbarment for Lawyer Caught With Zipper DownLawyer Suspended for Advice on How to “Make It Look Like Self-Defense”
In this edition: creative car financing, a cat burglar, goat liberation, a couple of coronavirus things, and the continuing risks of karaoke. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #142Assorted Stupidity #141Assorted Stupidity #140 (Sedition Edition)
These people haven't been found, but that doesn't mean they've escaped. Related StoriesThings That Fail: Ponzi Schemes, Water EscapesAlleged Arsonists Say They Set Fires to Get Rid of SnakesMoms Arrested for Hacking Cheerleading and Homecoming-Queen Competitions
In which the separation-of-powers doctrine is invoked in defense of font freedom. Related StoriesLook Who's Back, Now Filing Lawsuits on Behalf of “Donard J. Trump”Alabama's Ginormous Constitution Will Be “Recompiled,” Made Less RacistA Four-Thousand-Word Sentence
Sure, these were felonies, but then the stakes couldn't have been any higher. Related StoriesHouston Water Escape: Another Exception That Proves the Rule?Fake-Your-Own-Kidnapping Ploy Fails AgainMan Ordered to Stop Doing Autopsies Because He's Not, Like, a Doctor or Anything
If you've been wondering whether the activities shown in music videos are illegal, this is the channel for you. Related StoriesZoom Hearing Ends When Defendant Turns Out to Be in Alleged Victim's ApartmentCourt: Doctor, Please Don't Operate on Patients During This Zoom Trial
The video also involves a much less dramatic hearsay objection. Related Stories“Is That a Rocket Launcher?”—Criminal Lawyer ReactsCourt: Doctor, Please Don't Operate on Patients During This Zoom TrialNaked Fugitive Found in Croc-Infested Swamp
In this edition: no good deed goes unlitigated, checking the wrong box costs someone $1 billion, Capitol rioters can't keep their mouths shut, and another human loses a cockfight. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #141Assorted Stupidity #140 (Sedition Edition)Assorted Stupidity #139
"It looks like you're in an operating room right now," the clerk said, and indeed he was. Related Stories“Is That a Rocket Launcher?”—Criminal Lawyer ReactsZoom Hearing Ends When Defendant Turns Out to Be in Alleged Victim's Apartment
Well, it was *temporarily* resolved with the power saw, at least. Related StoriesCourt Invalidates Result of Rock-Paper-Scissors Match
Apparently calling in sick didn't work. Related Stories“The Facts Are Unusual,” Says Judge About Acquittal in Mistaken-Home-Invasion-Broom-Sex-Fantasy CaseLawyer Whose Pants Caught Fire Is Still a Hot MessMan Ordered to Stop Doing Autopsies Because He's Not, Like, a Doctor or Anything
His "vehicle collision" argument suggests he's just been phoning it in anyway. Related StoriesFake-Your-Own-Kidnapping Ploy Fails AgainDisbarment for Lawyer Caught With Zipper DownLawyer Suspended for Advice on How to “Make It Look Like Self-Defense”
No great surprise here. In fact, no surprise at all. The lawsuit that Orly Taitz filed last month (see “Look Who’s Back, Now Filing Lawsuits on Behalf of ‘Donard J. Trump,'” (Jan. 29, 2021)), asking a federal court in California... Related StoriesLook Who's Back, Now Filing Lawsuits on Behalf of “Donard J. Trump”Trump Legal Team's Record So Far: BadPro-Virus Floridians Challenge Mask Mandate
It would be one of about a dozen official saurians in the United States. Related StoriesOfficial State Crap: Hawaii
It actually speaks, in fact. Related StoriesUnited States v. Five Hundred and Twelve OttersLawyer Files Document “Under Plenty of Perjury”Court Says Lawyer's “Colorful Insults” Did Not Help His Clients' Case
In this edition: a sovereign citizen, other bad semi-lawyers, campaign-fund stealers, and people who forget to turn off their webcams. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #140 (Sedition Edition)Assorted Stupidity #139Assorted Stupidity #138
An unsurprising result under the circumstances. Related StoriesLawyer Suspended for Advice on How to “Make It Look Like Self-Defense”“Legal Genius” Pleads Guilty to FraudThe $65-Million-Pants Case: Year 16
Like I've said before, she may be a perfectly good dentist. Related StoriesNope, Twitter Isn't Violating the First AmendmentTrump Legal Team's Record So Far: BadAlabama's Ginormous Constitution Will Be “Recompiled,” Made Less Racist
By "it" I mean "murder," in case that wasn't clear. Related StoriesDisbarment for Lawyer Caught With Zipper Down“Legal Genius” Pleads Guilty to FraudThe $65-Million-Pants Case: Year 16
Sic. Related StoriesIt Is No Longer a Crime to Impersonate Smokey BearPork-Product Proposal Perturbs Parliamentarians; Prompts Pummeling, Pig-Part PeltingWearing Masks: Legally Required, but Also Illegal