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In this edition: fire still not recommended for pest control, why you should hang on to your gun during a robbery, San Francisco suspends its cannabis business tax, and other things. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #147Assorted Stupidity #145Assorted Stupidity #144
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Lowering the Bar
| Link | https://www.loweringthebar.net/ |
| Feed | http://feeds.feedblitz.com/loweringthebar |
| Updated | 2025-07-30 07:31 |
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If this were a movie, it'd be dinosaurs instead of tigers, and the board would approve it. Related StoriesCourt Rejects Alleged Iguana-Killer's “Stand Your Ground” DefenseMan Who Wanted “Full-Contact Experience” With Leopard Sues After Getting One
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My Client “Had No Non-Lethal Options,” Says Lawyer for Cop Who Shot Wheelchair-Bound Man in the Back
The phrase you were looking for is "no comment." Related Stories“I'm From Alabama,” Says Judge Explaining Why He Buried $100,000 in His BackyardCanadian Lawyers Want Person Not in Canada to Go There So They Can Kick Her OutI Claim This Castle Under Article 61 of the Magna Carta, Says Idiot
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This is 1.25 cents for each second his negligence delayed the train's departure. Related StoriesDefinition of Human Butt Debated During Cuomo DepositionMan Says He Can't Come to the Office Because He Gets More Done at Home as Lord Vishnu
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The parties ultimately did not agree on an answer to this perennially difficult question. Related StoriesTrain Driver Sues to Recover 49-Cent PenaltyMan Says He Can't Come to the Office Because He Gets More Done at Home as Lord Vishnu
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The court's told him to stop before, but maybe the fourth time will be the charm. Related StoriesSanctions Order Against Kraken Lawyers Weighs More Than a PoundLawyer Apologizes for Putting Judge Under SurveillanceLawyer Who Said Disbarment Would Be “an Honor” Has Finally Been Honored
They also do not "pop" without mechanical assistance, which I find highly misleading. Related StoriesConsumer Alleged She Wanted Only Water From One Particular Mountain (Which May Not Exist)Plaintiff Alleges “Heart of the Himalayas” Is in India, Not Pakistan (It's in Nepal)“Hint of Lime” Case: It's Not Crunch Berries, But It's Close
If it does exist, it's very important to her. Related StoriesPlaintiff Complains Pop-Tarts Less Healthy Than She ExpectedConsumer Alleged She Wanted Only Water From One Particular Mountain (Which May Not Exist)Plaintiff Alleges “Heart of the Himalayas” Is in India, Not Pakistan (It's in Nepal)
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Or, it's somewhere else, if there is any such thing. Related StoriesPlaintiff Alleges “Heart of the Himalayas” Is in India, Not Pakistan (It's in Nepal)Plaintiff Complains Pop-Tarts Less Healthy Than She ExpectedConsumer Alleged She Wanted Only Water From One Particular Mountain (Which May Not Exist)
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Surprisingly, there's more wrong with this case than the caption. Related StoriesChavez v. 'Cause Y'all Took My Phones I Don't Know Their Names (S.D.N.Y. 2021)
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If you want a joke about "predicting the outcome," you will have to write your own. Related StoriesHopefully There Will Be No Winners in Lawsuit Against PsychicDead People Still Having Trouble Proving They're AliveMan Says He Can't Come to the Office Because He Gets More Done at Home as Lord Vishnu
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The standoff lasted about 53 hours. Related StoriesUPDATED: Suspect in Assault Case Spends Two Days in TreeU.S. Army Special Ops Unit Assaulted by NinjaMan Claims to Be Four Kinds of Federal Agent During Single Traffic Stop
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She hasn't been able to enter, but the government wants her to visit so she can be properly expelled. Related StoriesCanadian Lawyers Want Person Not in Canada to Go There So They Can Kick Her OutU.S. Army Special Ops Unit Assaulted by Ninja“Nevermind” Cover Baby Sues Nirvana for Showing Him Naked
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I guess he did have the advantage of surprise. Related StoriesBREAKING: Suspect in Assault Case Spends Second Full Day in TreeCanadian Lawyers Want Person Not in Canada to Go There So They Can Kick Her Out“Nevermind” Cover Baby Sues Nirvana for Showing Him Naked
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"Who are we looking for?" he finally asked.
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in what appears to be the only decision to address the use of this ancient term. Related StoriesKraken-Releasing Lawyers Face Tough Questions in Federal Court
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If you're using the word "sundry" today, you might as well use that weird S, too. Related StoriesThird Planet v. Crowne Plaza: Infinity War or Endgame?In Blatant Power Grab, D.C. Circuit Tells Lawyers to Stop Using GaramondUnited States v. Five Hundred and Twelve Otters
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In this edition: somebody thinks Brady v. Maryland is super-hot, Lenin and Stalin are fighting again, there's a legal battle involving McDonald's ice-cream machines, and more. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #145Assorted Stupidity #144Assorted Stupidity #143
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Guess which federal crime he's claiming they committed. Go on, guess. Related Stories“Hint of Lime” Case: It's Not Crunch Berries, But It's CloseMan Says He Can't Come to the Office Because He Gets More Done at Home as Lord VishnuPlaintiff's “Wide-Ranging” Demands: $32 Trillion, Audience With Queen, Swamp Cleaning
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He might have evaded the paddleboard, but not the whole flotilla. Related StoriesBarge Captains Caught After What You Might Call “Chases”Houston Water Escape: Another Exception That Proves the Rule?Naked Fugitive Found in Croc-Infested Swamp
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If printed on letter-sized paper, just to be clear. Related StoriesLawyer Apologizes for Putting Judge Under SurveillanceKraken-Releasing Lawyers Face Tough Questions in Federal CourtLawyer Who Said Disbarment Would Be “an Honor” Has Finally Been Honored
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Will "Article 61 of the Magna Carta" be the right answer this time? I wonder! Related StoriesYour Honor, I Direct You to Article 61 of the Magna CartaCourt Rejects Alleged Iguana-Killer's “Stand Your Ground” DefenseMan Claims to Be Four Kinds of Federal Agent During Single Traffic Stop
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He will also have to sell the Panzer, his 88mm anti-aircraft gun, and various other Nazi knickknacks. Related StoriesCourt Rules Bread Does Not Meet Definition of Bread
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"You are not known as deceased," said the IRS, but she also was not known as alive. Related StoriesMan Says He Can't Come to the Office Because He Gets More Done at Home as Lord VishnuStruck by Turtle, Initial EncounterCan You Sue a Dead Person?
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In this edition: how not to make a great impression on the jury, more sovereign-citizen nonsense, a ruling involving the outer continental shelf, and some human-hamster-wheel advice. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #145Assorted Stupidity #144Assorted Stupidity #143
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Well, he's a lawyer for now, anyway. Related StoriesLawyer Who Said Disbarment Would Be “an Honor” Has Finally Been HonoredLawyer Whose Pants Caught Fire Is Still a Hot MessDisbarment for Lawyer Caught With Zipper Down
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Such as: "Did any of you actually talk to these witnesses?" (Hint: they had not.) Related StoriesTrump Legal Team's Record So Far: Bad“Motion to Declare Trump Victorious” Filed in PennsylvaniaLeader's Right to Take Office Questioned
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There might or might not be a sequel, but if there is, I'll watch it. Related StoriesIn Blatant Power Grab, D.C. Circuit Tells Lawyers to Stop Using GaramondA Four-Thousand-Word SentenceJudge Deploys Rumpelstiltskin Metaphor for Sixth Time
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Just 38 states (and maybe a few territories) to go. Related StoriesMassachusetts Considering Official DinosaurOfficial State Crap: Hawaii
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Also the statue of the Great Gazoo. Related StoriesIn Blatant Power Grab, D.C. Circuit Tells Lawyers to Stop Using GaramondIt Is No Longer a Crime to Impersonate Smokey BearNeighbor Who Griped About Property Line Ends Up With Half a Garage
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Including F-bombs, at least on these facts. Related StoriesThe Middle Finger and the LawNope, Twitter Isn't Violating the First AmendmentIn Blatant Power Grab, D.C. Circuit Tells Lawyers to Stop Using Garamond
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Very close. Related StoriesPlaintiff's “Wide-Ranging” Demands: $32 Trillion, Audience With Queen, Swamp CleaningSuit on Behalf of “Donard J. Trump” DismissedLook Who's Back, Now Filing Lawsuits on Behalf of “Donard J. Trump”
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In this edition: everyone makes mistakes; the Ninth Circuit hates Star Wars; Kim Kardashian fails the bar; and a man is blamed for saving his duck. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #144Assorted Stupidity #143Assorted Stupidity #142
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Not a great legal argument, and the surveillance video apparently undermines it as well. Related StoriesMan Claims to Be Four Kinds of Federal Agent During Single Traffic Stop“Ludicrous” Defenses Rejected in Twisted Sister Copyright Case“Is That a Rocket Launcher?”—Criminal Lawyer Reacts
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Still no chanting. Too dangerous. Related StoriesAlabama Still Hasn't Lifted Its Yoga BanOklahoma Legislator Proposes Big Foot Hunting SeasonIt Is No Longer a Crime to Impersonate Smokey Bear
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Sounds to me like Lord Vishnu isn't willing to wear a mask during the pandemic. Related StoriesFake-Your-Own-Kidnapping Ploy Fails AgainLawyer Whose Pants Caught Fire Is Still a Hot MessBeware of Fez-Wearers Making Bogus Demands
We can't say for sure he isn't a CIA agent, but the other claims didn't check out. Related StoriesCourt Rejects Alleged Iguana-Killer's “Stand Your Ground” Defense“Ludicrous” Defenses Rejected in Twisted Sister Copyright CaseMan Charged With Driving Stolen Car Appears for Zoom Hearing From Inside Another Stolen Car
They weren't gonna take it, and as it turned out, they didn't have to. Related StoriesCourt Rejects Alleged Iguana-Killer's “Stand Your Ground” DefenseMan Claims to Be Four Kinds of Federal Agent During Single Traffic StopBeware of Fez-Wearers Making Bogus Demands
Also a full-body MRI, although that part was actually reasonable. Related StoriesSuit on Behalf of “Donard J. Trump” DismissedLook Who's Back, Now Filing Lawsuits on Behalf of “Donard J. Trump”Trump Legal Team's Record So Far: Bad
I wouldn't call them that, but you might. Related StoriesHouston Water Escape: Another Exception That Proves the Rule?Woman Charged With Felony for Failing to Return Sabrina the Teenage WitchA Farewell to Madoff
In this edition: a legal-ethics update, a fairly crazy West Virginia case, and a reminder that only in Monopoly will there be a bank error in your favor. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #143Assorted Stupidity #142Assorted Stupidity #141
She rented it when movies were stored as magnetic data in cassettes known as "VHS." Related StoriesBarge Captains Caught After What You Might Call “Chases”A Farewell to MadoffAlleged Arsonists Say They Set Fires to Get Rid of Snakes
One of the few examples of a W59.22XA you're likely to see.
And it worked. Related StoriesSaudi Divorce Rate Spikes During Lockdown; Wives Reportedly Learning of “Secret Marriages”
He was the best in the world at something, but unfortunately, it was fraud. Related StoriesAlleged Arsonists Say They Set Fires to Get Rid of SnakesHouston Water Escape: Another Exception That Proves the Rule?Moms Arrested for Hacking Cheerleading and Homecoming-Queen Competitions
At long last, we have a comprehensive answer to this important question. Related StoriesOklahoma Legislator Proposes Big Foot Hunting SeasonDoes the Eighth Amendment's Excessive Fines Clause Apply to Parking-Meter Violations?Can You Sue a Dead Person?
He has another Zoom hearing next week, so maybe he will keep the streak alive. Related StoriesZoom Hearing Ends When Defendant Turns Out to Be in Alleged Victim's ApartmentNaked Fugitive Found in Croc-Infested SwampProsecutors* Try to Drop Charges Against Themselves
It also doesn't allow "chanting" in public schools, just so you know. Related StoriesCity Plans to Call Off Its 13-Year War on Saggy Pants
Not clear yet whether it worked. Related StoriesHouston Water Escape: Another Exception That Proves the Rule?Moms Arrested for Hacking Cheerleading and Homecoming-Queen CompetitionsFake-Your-Own-Kidnapping Ploy Fails Again
It's a little surprising the process took four years in this case. Related StoriesLawyer Whose Pants Caught Fire Is Still a Hot MessDisbarment for Lawyer Caught With Zipper DownLawyer Suspended for Advice on How to “Make It Look Like Self-Defense”