Feed lowering-the-bar Lowering the Bar

Favorite IconLowering the Bar

Link https://www.loweringthebar.net/
Feed http://feeds.feedblitz.com/loweringthebar
Updated 2025-06-01 21:46
Plaintiff Alleges “Heart of the Himalayas” Is in India, Not Pakistan (It’s in Nepal)
Or, it's somewhere else, if there is any such thing. Related StoriesPlaintiff Alleges “Heart of the Himalayas” Is in India, Not Pakistan (It's in Nepal)Plaintiff Complains Pop-Tarts Less Healthy Than She ExpectedConsumer Alleged She Wanted Only Water From One Particular Mountain (Which May Not Exist)
Chavez v. ‘Cause Y’all Took My Phones I Don’t Know Their Names (S.D.N.Y. 2021)
Surprisingly, there's more wrong with this case than the caption. Related StoriesChavez v. 'Cause Y'all Took My Phones I Don't Know Their Names (S.D.N.Y. 2021)
Hopefully There Will Be No Winners in Lawsuit Against Psychic
If you want a joke about "predicting the outcome," you will have to write your own. Related StoriesHopefully There Will Be No Winners in Lawsuit Against PsychicDead People Still Having Trouble Proving They're AliveMan Says He Can't Come to the Office Because He Gets More Done at Home as Lord Vishnu
UPDATED: Suspect in Assault Case Spends Two Days in Tree
The standoff lasted about 53 hours. Related StoriesUPDATED: Suspect in Assault Case Spends Two Days in TreeU.S. Army Special Ops Unit Assaulted by NinjaMan Claims to Be Four Kinds of Federal Agent During Single Traffic Stop
Canadian Lawyers Want Person Not in Canada to Go There So They Can Kick Her Out
She hasn't been able to enter, but the government wants her to visit so she can be properly expelled. Related StoriesCanadian Lawyers Want Person Not in Canada to Go There So They Can Kick Her OutU.S. Army Special Ops Unit Assaulted by Ninja“Nevermind” Cover Baby Sues Nirvana for Showing Him Naked
U.S. Army Special Ops Unit Assaulted by Ninja
I guess he did have the advantage of surprise. Related StoriesBREAKING: Suspect in Assault Case Spends Second Full Day in TreeCanadian Lawyers Want Person Not in Canada to Go There So They Can Kick Her Out“Nevermind” Cover Baby Sues Nirvana for Showing Him Naked
Missing Man Found in Search Party Looking for Himself
"Who are we looking for?" he finally asked.
Lawyer Held in Contempt for Repeatedly Saying “Gadzooks” After Judge’s Ruling
in what appears to be the only decision to address the use of this ancient term. Related StoriesKraken-Releasing Lawyers Face Tough Questions in Federal Court
Realtor Claims Home Not Sold Due to Compromising Paraphernalia of Sundry Sorts
If you're using the word "sundry" today, you might as well use that weird S, too. Related StoriesThird Planet v. Crowne Plaza: Infinity War or Endgame?In Blatant Power Grab, D.C. Circuit Tells Lawyers to Stop Using GaramondUnited States v. Five Hundred and Twelve Otters
Assorted Stupidity #147
In this edition: somebody thinks Brady v. Maryland is super-hot, Lenin and Stalin are fighting again, there's a legal battle involving McDonald's ice-cream machines, and more. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #145Assorted Stupidity #144Assorted Stupidity #143
“Nevermind” Cover Baby Sues Nirvana for Showing Him Naked
Guess which federal crime he's claiming they committed. Go on, guess. Related Stories“Hint of Lime” Case: It's Not Crunch Berries, But It's CloseMan Says He Can't Come to the Office Because He Gets More Done at Home as Lord VishnuPlaintiff's “Wide-Ranging” Demands: $32 Trillion, Audience With Queen, Swamp Cleaning
Suspect Who Fled Into Lake Pursued by Officer on Paddleboard
He might have evaded the paddleboard, but not the whole flotilla. Related StoriesBarge Captains Caught After What You Might Call “Chases”Houston Water Escape: Another Exception That Proves the Rule?Naked Fugitive Found in Croc-Infested Swamp
Sanctions Order Against Kraken Lawyers Weighs More Than a Pound
If printed on letter-sized paper, just to be clear. Related StoriesLawyer Apologizes for Putting Judge Under SurveillanceKraken-Releasing Lawyers Face Tough Questions in Federal CourtLawyer Who Said Disbarment Would Be “an Honor” Has Finally Been Honored
I Claim This Castle Under Article 61 of the Magna Carta, Says Idiot
Will "Article 61 of the Magna Carta" be the right answer this time? I wonder! Related StoriesYour Honor, I Direct You to Article 61 of the Magna CartaCourt Rejects Alleged Iguana-Killer's “Stand Your Ground” DefenseMan Claims to Be Four Kinds of Federal Agent During Single Traffic Stop
German Fined 250,000 Euros for Unlicensed Panzer
He will also have to sell the Panzer, his 88mm anti-aircraft gun, and various other Nazi knickknacks. Related StoriesCourt Rules Bread Does Not Meet Definition of Bread
Dead People Still Having Trouble Proving They’re Alive
"You are not known as deceased," said the IRS, but she also was not known as alive. Related StoriesMan Says He Can't Come to the Office Because He Gets More Done at Home as Lord VishnuStruck by Turtle, Initial EncounterCan You Sue a Dead Person?
Assorted Stupidity #146
In this edition: how not to make a great impression on the jury, more sovereign-citizen nonsense, a ruling involving the outer continental shelf, and some human-hamster-wheel advice. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #145Assorted Stupidity #144Assorted Stupidity #143
Lawyer Apologizes for Putting Judge Under Surveillance
Well, he's a lawyer for now, anyway. Related StoriesLawyer Who Said Disbarment Would Be “an Honor” Has Finally Been HonoredLawyer Whose Pants Caught Fire Is Still a Hot MessDisbarment for Lawyer Caught With Zipper Down
Kraken-Releasing Lawyers Face Tough Questions in Federal Court
Such as: "Did any of you actually talk to these witnesses?" (Hint: they had not.) Related StoriesTrump Legal Team's Record So Far: Bad“Motion to Declare Trump Victorious” Filed in PennsylvaniaLeader's Right to Take Office Questioned
Third Planet v. Crowne Plaza: Infinity War or Endgame?
There might or might not be a sequel, but if there is, I'll watch it. Related StoriesIn Blatant Power Grab, D.C. Circuit Tells Lawyers to Stop Using GaramondA Four-Thousand-Word SentenceJudge Deploys Rumpelstiltskin Metaphor for Sixth Time
Official State Crap: Idaho
Just 38 states (and maybe a few territories) to go. Related StoriesMassachusetts Considering Official DinosaurOfficial State Crap: Hawaii
Settlement in Flintstone-House Case Means 15-Foot Metal Dinosaurs Will Stay
Also the statue of the Great Gazoo. Related StoriesIn Blatant Power Grab, D.C. Circuit Tells Lawyers to Stop Using GaramondIt Is No Longer a Crime to Impersonate Smokey BearNeighbor Who Griped About Property Line Ends Up With Half a Garage
Supreme Court Holds Cheerleaders Can Swear on Snapchat
Including F-bombs, at least on these facts. Related StoriesThe Middle Finger and the LawNope, Twitter Isn't Violating the First AmendmentIn Blatant Power Grab, D.C. Circuit Tells Lawyers to Stop Using Garamond
“Hint of Lime” Case: It’s Not Crunch Berries, But It’s Close
Very close. Related StoriesPlaintiff's “Wide-Ranging” Demands: $32 Trillion, Audience With Queen, Swamp CleaningSuit on Behalf of “Donard J. Trump” DismissedLook Who's Back, Now Filing Lawsuits on Behalf of “Donard J. Trump”
Assorted Stupidity #145
In this edition: everyone makes mistakes; the Ninth Circuit hates Star Wars; Kim Kardashian fails the bar; and a man is blamed for saving his duck. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #144Assorted Stupidity #143Assorted Stupidity #142
Court Rejects Alleged Iguana-Killer’s “Stand Your Ground” Defense
Not a great legal argument, and the surveillance video apparently undermines it as well. Related StoriesMan Claims to Be Four Kinds of Federal Agent During Single Traffic Stop“Ludicrous” Defenses Rejected in Twisted Sister Copyright Case“Is That a Rocket Launcher?”—Criminal Lawyer Reacts
Alabama Nervously Decides to Lift Yoga Ban; Sponsor Notes There Are No “Yoga Police”
Still no chanting. Too dangerous. Related StoriesAlabama Still Hasn't Lifted Its Yoga BanOklahoma Legislator Proposes Big Foot Hunting SeasonIt Is No Longer a Crime to Impersonate Smokey Bear
Man Says He Can’t Come to the Office Because He Gets More Done at Home as Lord Vishnu
Sounds to me like Lord Vishnu isn't willing to wear a mask during the pandemic. Related StoriesFake-Your-Own-Kidnapping Ploy Fails AgainLawyer Whose Pants Caught Fire Is Still a Hot MessBeware of Fez-Wearers Making Bogus Demands
Man Claims to Be Four Kinds of Federal Agent During Single Traffic Stop
We can't say for sure he isn't a CIA agent, but the other claims didn't check out. Related StoriesCourt Rejects Alleged Iguana-Killer's “Stand Your Ground” Defense“Ludicrous” Defenses Rejected in Twisted Sister Copyright CaseMan Charged With Driving Stolen Car Appears for Zoom Hearing From Inside Another Stolen Car
“Ludicrous” Defenses Rejected in Twisted Sister Copyright Case
They weren't gonna take it, and as it turned out, they didn't have to. Related StoriesCourt Rejects Alleged Iguana-Killer's “Stand Your Ground” DefenseMan Claims to Be Four Kinds of Federal Agent During Single Traffic StopBeware of Fez-Wearers Making Bogus Demands
Plaintiff’s “Wide-Ranging” Demands: $32 Trillion, Audience With Queen, Swamp Cleaning
Also a full-body MRI, although that part was actually reasonable. Related StoriesSuit on Behalf of “Donard J. Trump” DismissedLook Who's Back, Now Filing Lawsuits on Behalf of “Donard J. Trump”Trump Legal Team's Record So Far: Bad
Barge Captains Caught After What You Might Call “Chases”
I wouldn't call them that, but you might. Related StoriesHouston Water Escape: Another Exception That Proves the Rule?Woman Charged With Felony for Failing to Return Sabrina the Teenage WitchA Farewell to Madoff
Assorted Stupidity #144
In this edition: a legal-ethics update, a fairly crazy West Virginia case, and a reminder that only in Monopoly will there be a bank error in your favor. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #143Assorted Stupidity #142Assorted Stupidity #141
Woman Charged With Felony for Failing to Return Sabrina the Teenage Witch
She rented it when movies were stored as magnetic data in cassettes known as "VHS." Related StoriesBarge Captains Caught After What You Might Call “Chases”A Farewell to MadoffAlleged Arsonists Say They Set Fires to Get Rid of Snakes
Struck by Turtle, Initial Encounter
One of the few examples of a W59.22XA you're likely to see.
Couple Married Four Times in a Month to Get Four Paid Honeymoons
And it worked. Related StoriesSaudi Divorce Rate Spikes During Lockdown; Wives Reportedly Learning of “Secret Marriages”
A Farewell to Madoff
He was the best in the world at something, but unfortunately, it was fraud. Related StoriesAlleged Arsonists Say They Set Fires to Get Rid of SnakesHouston Water Escape: Another Exception That Proves the Rule?Moms Arrested for Hacking Cheerleading and Homecoming-Queen Competitions
Is It Legal to Shoot Fish With a Gun?
At long last, we have a comprehensive answer to this important question. Related StoriesOklahoma Legislator Proposes Big Foot Hunting SeasonDoes the Eighth Amendment's Excessive Fines Clause Apply to Parking-Meter Violations?Can You Sue a Dead Person?
Man Charged With Driving Stolen Car Appears for Zoom Hearing From Inside Another Stolen Car
He has another Zoom hearing next week, so maybe he will keep the streak alive. Related StoriesZoom Hearing Ends When Defendant Turns Out to Be in Alleged Victim's ApartmentNaked Fugitive Found in Croc-Infested SwampProsecutors* Try to Drop Charges Against Themselves
Alabama Still Hasn’t Lifted Its Yoga Ban
It also doesn't allow "chanting" in public schools, just so you know. Related StoriesCity Plans to Call Off Its 13-Year War on Saggy Pants
Alleged Arsonists Say They Set Fires to Get Rid of Snakes
Not clear yet whether it worked. Related StoriesHouston Water Escape: Another Exception That Proves the Rule?Moms Arrested for Hacking Cheerleading and Homecoming-Queen CompetitionsFake-Your-Own-Kidnapping Ploy Fails Again
Lawyer Who Said Disbarment Would Be “an Honor” Has Finally Been Honored
It's a little surprising the process took four years in this case. Related StoriesLawyer Whose Pants Caught Fire Is Still a Hot MessDisbarment for Lawyer Caught With Zipper DownLawyer Suspended for Advice on How to “Make It Look Like Self-Defense”
Assorted Stupidity #143
In this edition: creative car financing, a cat burglar, goat liberation, a couple of coronavirus things, and the continuing risks of karaoke. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #142Assorted Stupidity #141Assorted Stupidity #140 (Sedition Edition)
Houston Water Escape: Another Exception That Proves the Rule?
These people haven't been found, but that doesn't mean they've escaped. Related StoriesThings That Fail: Ponzi Schemes, Water EscapesAlleged Arsonists Say They Set Fires to Get Rid of SnakesMoms Arrested for Hacking Cheerleading and Homecoming-Queen Competitions
In Blatant Power Grab, D.C. Circuit Tells Lawyers to Stop Using Garamond
In which the separation-of-powers doctrine is invoked in defense of font freedom. Related StoriesLook Who's Back, Now Filing Lawsuits on Behalf of “Donard J. Trump”Alabama's Ginormous Constitution Will Be “Recompiled,” Made Less RacistA Four-Thousand-Word Sentence
Moms Arrested for Hacking Cheerleading and Homecoming-Queen Competitions
Sure, these were felonies, but then the stakes couldn't have been any higher. Related StoriesHouston Water Escape: Another Exception That Proves the Rule?Fake-Your-Own-Kidnapping Ploy Fails AgainMan Ordered to Stop Doing Autopsies Because He's Not, Like, a Doctor or Anything
“Is That a Rocket Launcher?”—Criminal Lawyer Reacts
If you've been wondering whether the activities shown in music videos are illegal, this is the channel for you. Related StoriesZoom Hearing Ends When Defendant Turns Out to Be in Alleged Victim's ApartmentCourt: Doctor, Please Don't Operate on Patients During This Zoom Trial
Zoom Hearing Ends When Defendant Turns Out to Be in Alleged Victim’s Apartment
The video also involves a much less dramatic hearsay objection. Related Stories“Is That a Rocket Launcher?”—Criminal Lawyer ReactsCourt: Doctor, Please Don't Operate on Patients During This Zoom TrialNaked Fugitive Found in Croc-Infested Swamp
Assorted Stupidity #142
In this edition: no good deed goes unlitigated, checking the wrong box costs someone $1 billion, Capitol rioters can't keep their mouths shut, and another human loses a cockfight. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #141Assorted Stupidity #140 (Sedition Edition)Assorted Stupidity #139
Court: Doctor, Please Don’t Operate on Patients During This Zoom Trial
"It looks like you're in an operating room right now," the clerk said, and indeed he was. Related Stories“Is That a Rocket Launcher?”—Criminal Lawyer ReactsZoom Hearing Ends When Defendant Turns Out to Be in Alleged Victim's Apartment
12345678910...