Lowering the Bar

And consumers would likely confuse the two, a Texas jury somehow found. Related Stories“Pretty Sure Stank Is Patented,” Lawyer Claims—But It's ComplicatedLawyer Music Video Asks You Not to Call It “Velcro”Prosecutor: “Premature” to Blame Jurors for Stealing Drugs

Several written eviction notices from the parents had no effect. Related StoriesPowerball Problems

It's "sweet" and "slightly musky," among other things. Related StoriesLawsuit Claims “Farley”-Brand “Fat Bikes” Infringe on Chris Farley

Alleging a conspiracy that apparently involved most of Hollywood, plus Monica Lewinsky, Mark Zuckerberg, and the Dalai Lama. Related Stories“Justice for Simon”: Giant-Rabbit Case Survives Motion to Dismiss

This case needs to go to trial for the expert testimony alone. The court owes it to the public. Related StoriesHuang v. HollywoodNinth Circuit: Monkeys Have Standing to Sue in Federal CourtMichigan Set to Legalize Year-Round Frog-Spearing

If there had been another shrubbery, next to the first, only slightly higher so you get a two-layer effect with a little path running down the middle, the case might have come out differently. Related StoriesAbout That Religious TestShortening the Massachusetts Oath of Office Probably Saved LivesNebraska Legislator Proposes Creation of Mini-Nebraska

Bonus points: sword attack. Related StoriesSpaghetti Arsonist in a Bull Onesie? I'm Guessing It's FloridaYep, That's My FerrariGood Reason to Kill #69: Magic the Gathering

That was funny too, but for different reasons. Related StoriesMr. Trump's DemandsMugabe Spokesman: “The President Was Simply Resting His Eyes”Do They Teach Proofreading at Yale?

In this edition: another attempted water escape fails; all of Quebec's laws are apparently unconstitutional; a magician's gettin' sued; and special guest appearances by Rod Blagojevich and the legendary Spa Bandit. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #112Assorted Stupidity #111Assorted Stupidity #110

Maybe the question is: Did they teach *Kris Kobach* at Yale? Related StoriesPresident's Attorney Threatens Cartoonist for Using His “Rights-Protected Visage”Prepare to Eat It, Giuliani-StyleAmicus Brief Cites Ferris Bueller to Great Effect

Not that it'll do them any good. Related StoriesCourthouse Deputy: “I Need to See Your Monkey”Michigan Set to Legalize Year-Round Frog-SpearingMonkey-Selfie Case Settles

The tenth state alphabetically, Georgia is second to none in the number of stupid official state things it has. Related StoriesCalifornia Adopts an Official DinosaurOfficial State Crap: Illinois AgainHere Comes Wisconsin With an Official Dairy Product

Massachusetts got rid of its religious test in 1821—but not because it was unconstitutional. Related StoriesShortening the Massachusetts Oath of Office Probably Saved LivesNebraska Legislator Proposes Creation of Mini-NebraskaAmicus Brief Cites Ferris Bueller to Great Effect

Or at least reduced the number of people who died of old age while saying it. Related StoriesAbout That Religious TestCourt No Longer Recognizes JusticeNebraska Legislator Proposes Creation of Mini-Nebraska

Ohio's nice, but not likely to be confused with Heaven. Related StoriesHallucinating Romanian Story: “I Am a Deceased Man but Still Live”Plaintiff: California Must Admit the Truth About BigfootTerrifying Halloween Assortment!

In this edition: a Florida drive-thru lane with mysterious powers; a couple of ways not to observe Easter; and a Kentucky case that turned on whether harm caused by a motion-sensing air freshener was foreseeable. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #111Assorted Stupidity #110Assorted Stupidity #109

Court says further investigation is required. Related StoriesLawyer Dispute Escalates From Picture of Cat Playing Violin to GunfireStop That Dancing Immediately! Unlicensed Cabarets Are Still Illegal in New YorkLawyer “Devastated” by Theft of Office Frog

If you guessed "Euphonius Q. Supertramp," I'm proud of you even though that is extremely wrong. Related StoriesShortening the Massachusetts Oath of Office Probably Saved LivesCourt No Longer Recognizes JusticeThe Declaration of Independence

Which amendment is that again? Related StoriesFirst Amendment Exceptions That Might Allow Banning the Utah Legislature's Rap VideoBE IT ENACTED: There Is Fungus Among UsKansas Bill Would Require Governor to Be an Adult Human

There were a few other steps involved, but those are the big ones. Related StoriesAgain, Courts Frown on Feigning Sleep During Opponent's CaseLawyer Who “Did Not Realize He Had Been Suspended” Seven Years Ago Will … Stay SuspendedSuspect's Toilet Strike Ends After 47 Days—Successfully

The thing with the axe isn't illegal, and the other stuff deserves more than probation. Related StoriesSpaghetti Arsonist in a Bull Onesie? I'm Guessing It's FloridaFleeing Suspect Apprehended by His CarSospechosos Con 4,000 Kilos de Naranjas No Saben de Dónde Vinieron

It will most likely lose, except to the extent it wins.

Featuring a local news clip that is worth your time. Related StoriesGuy With Axe Embedded in Roof of Car Gets ProbationFleeing Suspect Apprehended by His CarSospechosos Con 4,000 Kilos de Naranjas No Saben de Dónde Vinieron

The ruling presumably leaves him with no facial expression at all. Related StoriesSuspect's Toilet Strike Ends After 47 Days—SuccessfullyNew Assault Charges for Rogue Canadian Golfer Who Tried to Escape on Ice FloeYep, That's My Ferrari

Oh dear God. Related StoriesBE IT ENACTED: There Is Fungus Among UsTomato Sauce Allegedly Links Suspect to Meatball HeistKansas Bill Would Require Governor to Be an Adult Human

"Us" Washington state legislators, that is. Related StoriesFirst Amendment Exceptions That Might Allow Banning the Utah Legislature's Rap VideoKansas Bill Would Require Governor to Be an Adult HumanKansas Bill Would Require Governors to Be Human

Law professors: probably not a bad example of "circumstantial evidence." You're welcome. Related StoriesFirst Amendment Exceptions That Might Allow Banning the Utah Legislature's Rap VideoIndicted DA Tries to Prevent Adverse Testimony by Marrying WitnessLawyer “Devastated” by Theft of Office Frog

He managed to get out of this water hazard, but it didn't do him much good. Related StoriesCourt Orders Martin Shkreli to Forfeit SmirkYep, That's My FerrariThe Montreal Screaming Ticket (or, Everybody Dance Now)

The law of unintended consequences strikes again. Related StoriesThey're Brawling Again in Taiwan's ParliamentIn New Hampshire, Pregnant Women No Longer Allowed to Kill With ImpunityIdaho May Legalize Dachshund Racing

But coincidentally, four metric tons of them were missing from a nearby warehouse. Related StoriesSuspect's “Toilet Strike” Enters Third WeekSuspect Who Asks About His “Other Murder Case” Is Charged With That One, TooSuspect Steals Mortuary Van, Finds Body Inside, Returns Both

Even more so because the lawyer showed up for this one. Related Stories“In It for Vengeance”: The Barry Glazer StoryTargeted Advertising

Under current law this is not a requirement. Related StoriesKansas Bill Would Require Governors to Be HumanALERT: There Are No Lawyers in the Kansas SenateThat Includes You, Sticky

In which a Texas legislator explains why some of her colleagues got cussed out a while ago. Related StoriesKansas Bill Would Require Governor to Be an Adult HumanKansas Bill Would Require Governors to Be HumanMore Details (and Questions) About Mini-Nebraska

This justice in particular. Related StoriesThe Declaration of IndependenceThe First U.S. Supreme Court DecisionDueling Still Not Advisable in Oregon

His long-term strategy is frankly unclear. Related StoriesSuspect Who Asks About His “Other Murder Case” Is Charged With That One, TooSuspect Steals Mortuary Van, Finds Body Inside, Returns BothPolice: Burglars Not Hard to Track in Snow

In which I revisit stupid disputes of the past and ask, how did that stupid dispute ever come out, anyway? Then I answer my own question. Related StoriesBad Places to Hide: Atlantic OceanSome AnnouncementsZamboni in the Drive-Thru: “Most Canadian Thing Ever”?

"Hm, well, I don't see anything else on the docket, but I imagine the detectives here would be happy to look into it." Related StoriesSuspect's “Toilet Strike” Enters Third WeekSuspect Steals Mortuary Van, Finds Body Inside, Returns BothPolice: Burglars Not Hard to Track in Snow

It wasn't. Related StoriesIndicted DA Tries to Prevent Adverse Testimony by Marrying WitnessEscape Charge Dismissed Because State Didn't Prove Prison's LocationMan Upset With $190 Ticket for Having His Snake Off Leash

I'd shame my cat by pointing out that Grumpy Cat's net worth is much higher than hers, but then she could say the same thing about me. Related StoriesMonkey-Selfie Case SettlesLawyers Sit Motionless in Worst Music Video EverCat Insulted

In which you may also vote to select (or propose) a name for ... whatever it is. Related StoriesNebraska Legislator Proposes Creation of Mini-NebraskaMichigan Set to Legalize Year-Round Frog-SpearingCongratulations, Lady Who Shut Down Dance by Citing Obscure Law

It could be populated by up to 360 mini-Nebraskans. Related StoriesMore Details (and Questions) About Mini-NebraskaOh, Good, Another “Official State Bible” LawAmicus Brief Cites Ferris Bueller to Great Effect

Seems like there's something in the Constitution on this. Maybe one of those amendments? Related StoriesNebraska Legislator Proposes Creation of Mini-NebraskaAmicus Brief Cites Ferris Bueller to Great EffectHeroic Legislator Defends Right to Public Swearing

Did I enjoy searching a Supreme Court transcript for the word "Ferris"? I did. Related StoriesNebraska Legislator Proposes Creation of Mini-NebraskaOh, Good, Another “Official State Bible” LawHeroic Legislator Defends Right to Public Swearing

Are extensive and almost certainly unenforceable. Related StoriesMugabe Spokesman: “The President Was Simply Resting His Eyes”Heroic Legislator Defends Right to Public SwearingPriority: Crocodiles